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"Taking Off the Luxury Tax" (1922)
by Ring Lardner
3864000"Taking Off the Luxury Tax"1922Ring Lardner

"Taking Off the Luxury Tax"

By Ring W. Lardner

TO the Editor: Well friends, I suppose you have noticed how much cheaper it is to live since the 1st. of the yr. on acct. of the govt, takeing off the tax on all the different luxurys and etc. and it is now 3 wks. since the big reduction and they has been time enough under the new scale of prices so as a person can figure out what amount of money they are going to be able to save by same. Well friends I can't speak for nobody only myself, but from what I can judge so far I would estimate that in a year's time the reduced schedule will enable me to lay aside somewhere between 15 and 20 cts.

THE REDUCED SCHEDULE WILL ENABLE ME TO LAY ASIDE BETWEEN 18 AND 20 CENTS

It was dureing the holidays that the details about this generous action of the govt. was printed in the papers and I remember one thing it said was that on acct. of they being about 100 million people in the U. S. and the reduction in taxes was going to amount to 700 million dollars, why therefore everybody in the country would be $7.00 to the good. I was not amongst those that thought maybe they would send a man around to ask us if we wanted the $7.00 in large or small bills, but I did expect to notice a slight change for the better in regards to the price of different articles which a man buys to enjoy life. That is, till a few days ago, when,I seen a printed list of some of the articles which the govt. pronounced tax free.

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ITEM No. 1 was soda water which I am told they has been a 10 per cent tax on same for several yrs. but which they have now took the tax off same. Well friends they could plaster a tax of $100.00 a drink on this jucios beverage without hearing a squawk from me. The 2 easiest habits I ever swore off was soda water and cubebs and after a man gets past 30 yrs. old the bear mention of either one is libel to upset the stomach and bring spots in front of the eyes.

The next item I come acrost was eye glasses and it said they had been taxed 5 per cent but now you could get them at the old time prices. Well I suppose when this become known they was a wild rush of eye glass fanciers to the goggle district but personly my visual orbs retain their boyish vim though the ear lobes and nasal appendage may be the worst for wear.

Well, amongst the other items that the taxes was loped off of was umbrellas costing over $4.00, fans costing over $1.00 and house coats or smokeing jackets over $10.00.

Well friends I am glad to say that I come from a family that knowed enough to stay in out of the rain and don't need no umbrellas but even if they was a law that everybody had to own one it would take a wonderful salesman to make me invest as high as $4.00 in same and as for fans they's always a breeze on Long Island, and it they wasn't we would try and manage to stir one up with a good old fashion palm leaf. As far as smokeing jackets or house coats is concerned, I would like to catch a member of my household spending any such sum as $10.00 on a garment which they wouldn't nobody but a male movie actress dast put on.

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WELL another item was theater tickets, and when I seen that one I says here is where a person may be able to save a few dollars, but reading on further you come to where it said that the tax was only off free admissions or admissions of 10 cts. and less. I don't know how conditions is around other parts of the country, but here in Great Neck the only shows that you can get into for 10 cts. and less is mystery shows. The mystery is where are they.

But how about the reduction in R. R. fares and Pullman tickets? Well friends I only expect to make one trip this yr. and the tickets for same was boughten in December before the tax was took off. According to the experts the govt. will pay me back the differente if I write and ask them for same, but I have heard about other people who the govt. owed them money and when they got it they was so old that the shock killed them.

All and all judgeing from the items that was printed in the list I seen why it looks like the treasury dept. has got it in for me personly as they's nothing which they have took the tax off which I have got any use for, though of course they wasn't room in the paper to print the whole list, but I bet I could pretty near guess some of the other articles, like for inst. circus tents and stone crushers and ear muffs and maybe such every day necessities like hand cuffs, freight elevators, calliopes, rideing breeches, dollies, church bells, etc.

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THAT is the way it always goes with so called reductions in the high cost of liveing, namely you read about them in the paper and get all steamed up over them, but when the cards is all laid out on the table it don't mean nothing. Like for inst. the rumor goes around that meats and grocerys is down to where they was at before the war, but take your gal down town and try and buy the dinner for 5 smackers. Fat chance unlest one of the oysters makes her sick.

So when I says a wile ago that I supposed you had noticed how much cheaper liveing has became since the 1st. of the yr. why I was just makeing a joke which I guess they don't nobody laugh themself to death over same.

Great Neck. Jan. 20.

This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published before January 1, 1929.


The longest-living author of this work died in 1933, so this work is in the public domain in countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 90 years or less. This work may be in the public domain in countries and areas with longer native copyright terms that apply the rule of the shorter term to foreign works.

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