Arabian Nights Entertainments (1706)/Volume 5/The Fifth Brother

Arabian Nights Entertainments, Volume V (1706)
The Story of the Barber’s Fifth Brother
4645714Arabian Nights Entertainments, Volume V — The Story of the Barber’s Fifth Brother

The hundred and Seventy Sixth Night.


The Story of the Barber’s Fifth Brother.


ALnaſchar, as long as our Father lived, was very lazy; inſtead of working for his Living, he uſed to go a begging in the Evening, and to live upon what he got next Day. Our Father dy’d in a very old Age, and left among us 700 Drachms of Silver: We divided it equally among us, ſo that each of us had a 100 for our Share. Alnaſchar, who had never ſo much Money before in his Lifetime, was very much perplexed to know what he ſhould do with it. He conſulted a long time with himſelf and at last reſolved to lay it out in Glaſſes, Bottles, and other Glaſs-work, which he bought of a great Merchant. He put all in an open Basket, and choſe a very little Shop where he ſat with the Basket before him, and his Back againſt the Wall, expecting while ſome body ſhould come and buy his Ware. In this Poſture he ſat with his Eyes fixed on his Basket, and begun to rave. During which, he ſpoke as follows, loud enough to be heard by a neighbouring Taylor. This Basket, ſays he, coſt me a 100 Drachms, which is all I have in the World; I ſhall make 200 of it by retailing my Glaſs, and of thoſe 200 Drachms which I will again lay out in Glaſs, I ſhall make 400 and going on thus, I ſhall at laſt make 4000 Drachms, of 4000 I ſhall eaſily make 8000, and when I come to 10000, I will leave off ſelling Glaſs, and turn Jeweller, I will trade in Diamonds, Pearls, and al] ſorts of precious Stones. Then when I am as rich as I can wiſh, I will buy a fine Houſe, a great Eſtate, Slaves, Eunuchs, Horſes; I will keep a good Houſe, and make a great Figure in the World; I will ſend forall the Muſicians and Dancers of both Sexes in Town. Nor will I ſtop here, I will by the Favour of Heaven go on till I get 1000000 Drachras, and when I have got ſo much, I will think my ſelf as great as a Prince, and ſend to demand the Grand Vizier’s Daughter in Marriage, and repreſent to that Miniſter, that I have heard very much of the wonderful Beauty and Modeſty, Wit, and all the other Qualities of his Daughter. In a Word, that I will give him 1000 Pieces of Gold the firſt Night we are married; and if the Vizier be ſo uncivil as to refuſe his Daughter, which cannot be, I will go and take her before his Face, and carry her to my Houſe, whether he will or no. As ſoon as ſ have married the Grand Vizier’s Daughter, I will buy her ten young black Eunuchs, the handſomeſt that can be had; I will cloath my ſelf like a Prince, and ride upon fine Horſe, with a Saddle of fine Gold, with Houſings of Cloath of Gold, finely embroidered with Diamonds and Pearls. I will march through the City, attended by Slaves before and behind, and I will go to the Vizier’s Palace, in the View of all Sorts of People, who will all ſhew me a profound Reverence. When I light at the Foot of the Vizier’s Stair-Caſe, I will go up the ſame in the midſt of my People, ranged in two Files on the Right and Left, and the Grand Vizier receiving me as his Son-in law, ſhall give me the Right Hand, and ſet me above him to do me the more Honour. If this comes to paſs, as I hope it will, two of my People ſhall have each ot them a Purſe of a 1000 Pieces of Gold, which they ſhall carry with them. I will take one and preſenting it to the Grand Vizier, I will tell him there’s the 1000 Pieces that I promis’d the firſt Night of Marriage; and I will offer him the other, and ſay to him, There’s as much more, to ſhew you that I am a Man of my Word, and that I am better than my Promiſe. After ſuch an Action as this, all the World will ſpeak of my Generoſity. I will return to my own Houſe in the ſame Pomp,. My Wife ſhall ſend to compliment me by ſome Officer, on the Account of the Viſit I made to her Father: I wilt honour the Officer with a fine Robe, and ſend him back with a rich Preſent. If the thinks fit to ſend me one, I won’t accept it, but diſmiſs the Bearer, I won’t ſuffer her to go out of her Apartment on any Account whatever, without giving me Notice: And when I have a Mind to come to her Apartment, it ſhall, be in ſuch a Manner as to make her reſpect me. In ſhort, no Houſe ſhall be better ordered than mine; I will be always richly clad. When I retire with my Wiſe in the Evening I will ſit on the upperhand, I will affect a grave Air without turning my Head to one Side or other. I will ſpeak little; and whilſt my Wife, as beautifuf as the Full-moon, ſtands before me in all her Ornaments, I will make as if I did not ſee her. Her Women about her will ſay to me, Our dear Lord and Maſter, here’s your Spouſe, your humble Servant before you, ſhe expects you ſhould careſs her, and is very much mortify’d that you don’t ſo much as vouchſafe to look upon her; ſhe is wearied with ſtanding ſo long, bid her, at leaſt, ſit down. I will give no Anſwer to this Diſcourſe, which will increaſe their ſurprizing Grief, They will lay themſelves at my Feet; and after they have done ſo a conſiderable time, begging me to relent, I will at laſt lift up my Head, and give her a careleſs Look. Afterwards I will return to my former Poſture: Then will they think that my Wife is not well enough, nor handſome enough dreſs’d, and will carry her Cloſet to change her Apparel. At the ſame time I will get up and put on a more magnificent Suit than before: They will return and hold the ſame Diſcourſe with me as before, and I will have the Pleaſure not ſo much as to look upon my Wife, till they have prayed and intreated as long as they did at firſt. Thus will I begin on the firſt Day of Marriage, to teach her what ſhe is to expect during the reſt of her Life.

Here Scheherazade broke off, becauſe it was Day, and next Morning reſumed her Story as follows.


The Hundred and Seventy Seventh Night.


THE prattling Barber continued the Hiſtory of his Fifth Brother thus: After the Ceremonies of the Marriage, ſays Alnaſchar. I will take from one of my Servants, who ſhall be about me, a Purſe of 500 Pieces of Gold, which I will give to the Tire-women, that they may leave me alone with my Spouſe; when they are gone, my Wife ſhall go to Bed firſt. Then I will lie down by her with my Back towards her, and won’t ſay one Word to her all Night. The next Morning ſhe will certainly complain of my Contempt of her, and of my Pride, to her Mother the Grand Vizier’s Wife, which will rejoice me at Heart. Her mother will come to wait upon me, reſpectfully kiſs my Hands, and ſay to me, Sir, for ſhe will not dare to call me Son-in-Law, for fear of provoking me by ſuch a familiar Style, I pray you not to diſdain my Daugh-ter, and refuſe to come near her; I aſſure you that her chief Buſinels is to pleaſe you, and that ſhe loves you with all her Heart. But my Mother-in-Law had as good hold her Peace, I wont anſwer her one Word, but keep my Gravity. Then ſhe will throw herſelf at my Feet, kiſs them, and Gay to me, Sir, is it poſſible that you can ſuſpect my Daughter’s Chaſtity ? I aſſure you, I never let her go out of my Sight. You are the firſt Man that ever ſaw her Face, don’t mortify her ſo much, do her the Favour to look upon her, to ſpeak to her, and to confirm her in her good Intentions to ſatisfy you in every thing. But nothing of this ſhall prevail with me; upon which my Mother-in-Law will take a Glaſs of Wine, and putting it in the Hand of her Daughter, my Wife, will ſay, go, preſent him his Glaſs of Wine yourſelf; perhaps he won’t be fo cruel as to refuſe it from ſo fair a Hand. My Wife will come with the Glaſs, and ſtand trembling before me; and when ſhe finds that I don’t look towards her, that I continue to diſdain her, ſhe will ſay to me with Tears in her Eyes, My Heart, my dear Soul, my amiable Lord, I conjure you, by the Favours which Heaven beſtows upon you, to receive this Glaſs of Wine from the Hand of your moſt humble Servant; but I won’t look upon her ſtill, nor anſwer her. My charming Spouſe will ſhe ſay, redoubling her Tears, and putting the Glaſs to my Mouth, I will never leave off till I prevail with you to drink; then being fatigu’d with her Entreaties, I will dart a terrible Look at her, give her a good Box on the Cheek, and give her ſuch a puſh with my Foot, as ſhall throw her quite off the Alcove.

My Brother was ſo full of thoſe chimerical Viſions, that he acted with his Foot as if ſhe had been really before him, and by Misfortune he gave ſuch a Puſh to his Basket and and Glaſſes, that they were thrown down in the Street, and broke in a thouſand Pieces.

A Taylor, who was his Neighbour, and heard his extravagant Diſcourſe, fell into a Fit of Laughter when he ſaw the Basket fall. O what an unworthy Fellow art thou, ſays he, to my Brother! Ought you not to be aſhamed to abuſe thus a young Spouſe, who gaveyou no Cauſe of Complaint? You muſt be a very brutiſh Fellow to deſpite the Tears and Charms of ſuch a beautiful Lady. Were I the Vizier, your Father-in-Law, I would order you a hundred Laſhes with a Bulls-Pizzle, and ſend you through the Town with your Character written on your Forehead. My Brother on this fatal Accident, came to himſelf, and perceiving that he had brought this Misfortune upon himſelf, by his unſupportable Pride, he beat his Face, tore his Cloaths, and cried ſo loud, that the Neighbours came about him; and the People, who were going to their Noon Prayers, ſtopt to know what was the Matter. Being on a Friday, more People went to Prayers than uſual; ſome of them took pity on Alnaſchar, and others only laughed at his Extravagancy. In the mean Time, his Vanity being deſpers’d, as well as his Glaſſes, he bitterly bewail’d his Loſs; and a Lady of Note paſſing by upon a Mule, with rich Capariſons, my Brother’s Condition mov’d her Compaſſion: She asked who he was, and what was the Matter with him? They told her, that he was a poor Man, who laid out a little Money he had in buying a Basket of Glaſſes, and that the Basket falling, all his Glaſles were broke. The Lady immediately turn’d to an Eunuch who attended her, and ſays to him, Give the poor Man what you have about you. The Eunuch obey’d, and put into my Brother’ Hands 500 Pieces of Gold. Alnaſchar was like to die of Joy when he received it: He gave a thouſand Bleſſings to the Lady, and ſhutting up his Shop, where he had no more Occaſion to ſit, he went to his Houſe.

While he was making deep Reflections upon his good Luck, he heard one knock at his Door; before he open’d, he ask’d who it was, and knowing by the Voice that it was a Woman, he let her in, My Son, ſays ſhe, I have a Favour to beg of you: The Hour of Prayer is come, pray let me waſh my ſelf, that I may be fit to ſay my Prayers. Pray let me come into your Houſe, and give me a Baſon of Water. My Brother look’d upon her, and ſaw that ſhe was a Woman well advanced in Years, tho’ he knew not, he granted what ſhe requir’d, and then ſat down again, being ſtill tull of his new Adventure. He put his Gold in a long ſtrait Purſe, proper to carry at his Girdle. The old Woman in the mean time ſaid her Prayers, and when ſhe had done, came to my’ Brother, and bowed to the Ground twice, ſo low, that ſhe touched it with her Forehead, as if ſhe had been going to ſay her Prayers; then riſing up, ſhe wiſhed my Brother all manner of Happineſs.

The Day beginning to draw, Scheherazade left off, and next Night return’d her Diſcourſe, perſonating the Barber as follows.


The Hundred and Seventy Eight Night.


THE old Woman then wiſhed my Brother all ſort of Happineſs, and thanked him for his Civility, being meanly clad, and very humble to him. He thought ſhe ask’d Alms, upon which he offer’d her two Pieces of Gold. The old Woman ſtept back in a ſort of a Surprize, as if my Brother had done her an Injury. Heaven ſays ſhe, what is the meaning of this? Is it poſſible, Sir, ſays ſhe, that you took me for an impudent Beggar? Did you think I came ſo boldly into your Houſe to ask Alms? Take back your Money, I have no need of it, Thanks to Heaven, I belong to a young Lady of this City, who is a charming Beauty and very rich; ſhe lets me want for nothing.

My Brother was not cunning enough to perceive the Craft of the old Woman, who only refuſed the two Pieces of Gold that ſhe might catch more. He asked her if ſhe could not procure him the Honour of ſeeing that Lady. With all my Heart, replied ſhe, ſhe will be very well fatisfy’d to marry, and to put you in Poſſeſſion of her Eftate, by making you Maſter of her Perſon. Take up your Money and follow me. My Brother being raviſhed with his good Luck of finding ſo great a Sum of Money, and almoſt at the ſame time a beautiful and rich Wife, his Eyes were ſhut upon all other Conſiderations; ſo that he took his 500 Pieces of Gold, and followed the old Woman; ſhe walked before: him, and he followed at a Diſtance, to the Gate of a great Houſe, where ſhe knock’d: He came up to her juſt as a young Greek Slave opened the Gate. The old Woman made him enter firſt, went croſs a Court very well pav’d, and introduced him into a Hall, the Furniture of which confirm’d him in the good Opinion he had conceiv’d of the Miſtreſs of the Houle., While the old Woman went to acquaint the Lady, he ſat him down, and the Weather being hot; put off his Turbant, and laid it by him. He ſpeedily ſaw the young Lady come in, whoſe Beauty and rich Apparel perfectly ſurpriz’d him; he got up as ſoon as he ſaw her. The Lady with a ſmiling Countenance pray’d him to ſit down again, and placed herſelf by him; ſhe told him ſhe was very glad to ſee him; and after having ſpoke ſome engaging Words to him, ſays, we don’t ſit here at our Conveniency. Come, give me, your Hand; at theſe Words ſhe preſented him hers, and carried him into an inner Chamber, where ſhe entertain’d him for ſome Time: Then ſhe left him, bidding him ſtay, ſhe would be with him in a Moment. He expected her; but inſtead of the Lady, came in a great black Slave, with a Scimiter in his Hand, and looking upon my Brother with a terrible Aſpect, ſays to him fiercely, What have you to do here? Alnaſchar was ſo full of Fear at Sight of the Slave, that he had no Power to anfwer. The Black ſtripp’d him, carried off his Gold, and gave him ſeveral Cuts with his Scimiter. My unhappy Brother fell to the Ground, where he lay without Motion, tho’ he had ſtill the Uſe of his Senſes. The Black thinking him to be dead, ask’d for Salt; the Greek Slave brought him a Baſon full: They rubb’d my Brother’s Wounds with it, who had ſo much Command of himſelf, notwithſtanding the intolerable Pain it put him to, that he lay ftill without giving any Sign of Life. The Black, and the Greek Slave being retir’d, the old Woman who drew my Brother into the Snare, came and dragged him by the Feet to a Trap-Door, which he opened, and threw him into a Place under Ground, among the Corps of ſeveral other People that had been murdered. He perceived this as ſoon as he came to himſelf; for the Violence of the Fall had taken away his Senſes. The Salt rubb’d into his Wounds preſerv’d his Life, and he recovered Strength by Degrees, ſo as he was able to walk, After two Days, he opened the Trap during the Night, and finding a proper Place in the Court to hide himſelf, continued there till break of Day, when he ſaw the curſed old Woman open the Gate, and go out to ſeek another Prey. He ſtayed in the Place ſome time after ſhe went out, that ſhe might not ſee him, and then came to me for Shelter, and told me all his Adventures.

In a Month’s Time he was perfectly cured of his Wounds by Medicines that I gave him, and reſolv’d to avenge him
ſelf of the old Woman, who had put ſuch a barbarous Cheat upon him: To this End, he took a Bag large enough to contain 500 Pieces of Gold, and filled it with Pieces of Glaſs.

Here Scheherazade ſtopt ’till next Morning, when ſhe went on thus.


The Hundred and Seventy Ninth Night.


MY Brother, continued the Barber, faſten’d the Bag of Glaſs about him, diſguiſed himſelt like an old Woman, and took a Cimiter under his Gown. One Morning he met the old Woman walking through the Town to ſeek her Prey; he comes up to her, and couterfeiting a Woman’s Voice, ſays to her, Cannot you lend me a Pair of Scales? I am a Woman newly come from Perſia, have 500 Pieces of Gold with me, and would know it they will hold out according to your Weight. Good Woman, anſwers the old Hagg, you could not have apply’d to a properer Perſon: Follow me, I will bring you to my Son, who changes money and will weigh them himſelf, to ſave you the Trouble. Let us make Haſte, for fear he go to his Shop. My Brother followed her to the Houſe where ſhe carried him the firſt Time, and the Greek Slave open’d the Door.

The old Woman carry’d my Brother to the Hall, where ſhe bid him ſtay a Moment ’till ſhe called her Son. The pretended Son came, and proved to be the villainous Black Slave. Curſed old Woman, ſays he to my Brother, riſe and follow me: Having ſpoke thus, he went before to bring him to the Place where he deſigned to murder him. Alnaſchar got up, follow’d him, and drawing his Cimiter, gave him ſuch a dextrous Blow behind on the Neck, as cut off his Head, which he took in one Hand, and dragging the Corps with the other, threw them both into the Place under Ground, before mention’d. The Greek Slave, who was accuſtom’d to the Trade, came preſently with a Baſon of Salt; but when ſhe ſaw Alnaſchar with the Cimiter in his Hand, and without his Veil, ſhe laid down the Baſon, and fled: But my Brother overtaking her, cut off her Head alſo. The wicked old Woman came running at the Noiſe, and my Brother ſeizing her, ſays to her; Treacherous Wretch, don’t you know me! Alas Sir! anſwers ſhe trembling, who are you? I don’t remember that ever I ſaw you, I am, ſays he, the Perſon to whoſe Houſe you came the other Day to waſh and ſay your Prayers. Hypocritical Hagg, ſays he, don’t you remember it? Then ſhe fell on her Knees to beg his Pardon; but he cut her in four Pieces.

There remain’d only the Lady, who knew nothing of what had paſsd: He ſought her out, and found her in a Chamber, where ſhe was ready to ſink when ſhe ſaw him: She begged her Life, which he generouſly granted. Madam, ſays he, How could you live with ſuch wicked People, as I have ſo juſtly revenged my ſelf upon now? I was, ſays ſhe, Wife to an honeſt Merchant; and the curſed old Woman, whoſe Wickedneſs I did not know, uſed ſometimes to come to ſee me; Madam, ſays ſhe to me one Day, we have a very fine Wedding at our Houle, which you will be pleaſed to ſee, if you give us the Honour of your Company: I was perſuaded by her; put on my beſt Apparel, and took with me a hundred Pieces of Goid I followed her; ſhe brought me to this Houſe, where the Black has kept me ſince by Force, and I have been three Years here to my very great Sorrow. By the Trade the curſed Black follow’d, reply’d my Brother, be muſt have gathered together a vaſt deal of Riches. There’s ſo much, ſays ſhe, that you will be made for ever, if you can carry them off: Follow me, and you ſhall ſee them, ſays ſhe, Alnaſchar followed her to a Chamber, where ſhe ſhew’s him ſeveral Coffers full of Go!d, which he beheld with Admiration; Go, ſays ſhe, fetch People enough to, carry it all off. My Brother needed no: be bid twice he went out and ſtay’d only ’till he got ten Men together, he brought them with him, and was much ſurpriſed to find the Gate open, but more when he found the Lady and the Coffers all gone; for ſhe being more diligent than he, carry’d them all off: However, being reſolv’d not to return empty handed, he carry’d off all the Goods he could find in the Houſe, which was a great deal more than enough, to make up the five hundred Pieces of Gold he was robb’d of: But when he went out of the Houſe, he forgot to ſhut the Gate. The Neighbours, who ſaw my Brother, and the Porters come and go, went and acquainted the Magiſtrate with it; for they look’d upon my Brother’s Conduct as ſuſpicious. Alnafchar flept well enough all Night: But the next Morning, when he came out of his Houſe, he found Twenty of the Magiſtrate’s Men, who ſeized him. Come along with us, ſaid they, our Maſter would ſpeak with you. My Brother pray’d to have Patience for a Moment, and offer’d them a Sum of Money to let him eſcape; but inſtead of liſtening to him, they bound him, and forced him to go along with them. They met in the Street an old Acquaintance of my Brother’s, who ſtopp’d them a while, and ask’d them, why they ſeized my Brother? And offer’d them a conſiderable Sum to let him eſcape, and to tell the Magiſtrate, they could not find him? But this would not do, ſo he was carry’d before the Magiſtrate.

Here Scheherazade left off, becauſe ſhe ſaw Day; but reſumed her Story thus next Morning.


The Hundred and Eightieth Night.


WHEN the Officers brought him. before the Magiſtrate, he ask’d him where he had the Goods: which he carry’d Home laft Night? Sir, reply’d Alnaſchar, I am. ready to tell-yow: all the Truth; but allow me firſt to have Recourſeto your Clemency, and to beg your Promiſe, that nothing ſhall be done to me, I give it you, ſays the Magiſtrate. Then my Brother told him the whole Story without Diſguiſe, from the Time the old Woman came into his Houſe to ſay her. Prayers, to the Time the Lady made her Eſcape, after he had kill’d the Black, the Greek Slave, and the Old Woman: And as for what he had carry’d to his Houle, he pray’d the Judge to leave him Part of it, for the five hundred Pieces of Gold that he was robb’d of.

The Judge, without promiſing any thing ſent his Officers to bring off all, and having put the Goods into his own Wardrobe, commanded my Brother to quit the Town immediately, and never to return; for he was afraid, if my Brother had ſtay’d in the City, he wou’d have found ſome way to repreſent this Injuſtice to the Califf: In the mean time Alnaſchar obey’d without murmuring, and left that Town to go to another: By the Way he met with Highway-men, who ſtript him-naked, and when the News was brought to me, I carry’d him a Suit, and brought him in ſecretly again to the Town, where took the like Care of him as I did of his other Brothers.