Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/June 19, 1891

by J.K.S.

All in a peaceful garden fair,
⁠One night in leafy June,
There sat a wondrous lovely pair,
⁠And waited for the Moon,

In silence, save where rustled by
⁠A little creeping breeze,
Which swept the cobwebs from the sky,
⁠And scarcely stirred the trees.

The one displayed in form and face
⁠To all and sundry comers
The sweet accumulated grace
⁠Of twenty happy summers.

The other, matronly and calm,
⁠Was most divinely fair,
And each was stately as a palm,
⁠And each had pale gold hair.

Between them, where a trailing bough
⁠Obscured the moonlight pale,
Lounged a vast form with classic brow,
⁠Unquestionably male.

There rose a mighty yellow Moon,
⁠Across the tree-tops peering
Along the fleecy sky of June,
⁠Through which she'll soon be steering.

And when she saw each lovely maid
⁠She clapped her silver hands;
"Such wondrous charms are rare" she said
⁠"In all sublunar lands.

"But which is fairest?" long and loud
⁠She shouted to the stars,
Which glittered in a golden crowd,
⁠Like newly lit cigars.

Then from the zenith Vega slid,
⁠And red Aldebaran
Rushed up the sky, as he was bid,
⁠To meet the stately Swan;

And many dozen more appeared,
⁠Till all the sky was bare,
And round the Satellite careered,
⁠And vowed the scene was fair.

Then spake the Moon: "I'm sore distressed:
⁠"Two beauteous forms I see:
"I can't say which I like the best:
⁠"Decide the point for me.

"Such foolish puzzles, I declare,
⁠"I hold in much abhorrence:
"Say if the lovelier of the pair
⁠"Be A—————— or F——————."

Then peeping o'er each other's head,
⁠The striking scene to scan,
The Stars unanimously said:—
⁠"We much prefer the Man."