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thither, Thursday 7. With much difficulty I continued in my labour, till a little after Christmas : when some mercurial pills, which I was advised to take for the fistula, gave me the finishing stroke. But here I found Christian friends in plenty. Had I been the Lord Lieutenant, there could not have been more care taken of me. May they all hear at last, In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me.
As to my own conduct, since I first, thro’ mercy believed, which is about fourteen years, I am ashamed and confounded in the sight of God, at his great love to me a poor sinner : at thy long suffering, O my God and Saviour, bearing so long with me ; at thy great love, as it were forcing thyself upon me, and after my constantly repeated short-comings, still showing me the precious blood that cleanseth me from all sin.
But it may be asked, “Are you not deceived in this?” I answer, God gives his children, not the spirit of the world, but his own Spirit, for this very end, that they may know the things, which are freely given to them of God. By this Spirit I am not deceiveed. As plainly as I can feel the wind blow, I felt a work of grace in my heart, drawing me nearer and nearer to Ged. I felt a daily dying to this vain world, and a daily overcoming the remains of sin, till God was pleased to remove it all at one stroke. At the same time the Spirit testified, that these things were freely given of God to a poor sinner.
O Lord, keep me from every appearance of boasting! Of thee only will I boast, my Lord, my God and my all : I will speak of thy loving kindness, while I have a voice. Only keep my heart filled with thy love, and open my mouth to shew thy praise. O that the few days I have on this side of eternity, may be filled up with holy praise and adoration, telling to all around, how good, how gracious, how kind, how long-suffering, how merciful, how full of compassion thou art ; how willing
