for old Tozer to show off with, they supposed; did they? What business was it of old Tozer’s more than anybody else’s? It wasn’t his inkstand. Why couldn’t he leave the boys’ property alone?" and murmuring other expressions of their dissatisfaction, which seemed to find a greater relief in calling him old Tozer, than in any other available vent.
Not a word had been said to the young gentlemen, nor a hint dropped, of anything like a contemplated marriage between Mr. Feeder, B.A., and the fair Cornelia Blimber. Doctor Blimber, especially, seemed to take pains to look as if nothing would surprise him more; but it was perfectly well known to all the young gentlemen nevertheless, and when they departed for the society of their relations and friends, they took leave of Mr. Feeder with awe.
Mr. Feeder’s most romantic visions were fulfilled. The Doctor had determined to paint the house outside, and put it in thorough repair; and to give up the business, and to give up Cornelia. The painting and repairing began upon the very day of the young gentlemen’s departure, and now behold! the wedding morning was come, and Cornelia, in a new pair of spectacles, was waiting to be led to the hymeneal altar.
The Doctor with his learned legs, and Mrs. Blimber in a lilac bonnet, and Mr. Feeder, B.A., with his long knuckles and his bristly head of hair, and Mr. Feeder’s brother, the Reverend Alfred Feeder, M.A., who was to perform the ceremony, were all assembled in the drawing-room, and Cornelia with her orange-flowers and bridesmaids had just come down, and looked, as of old, a little squeezed in appearance, but very charming, when the door opened, and the weak-eyed young man, in a loud voice, made the following proclamation:
"Mr. and Mrs. Toots!"
Upon which there entered Mr. Toots, grown extremely stout, and on his arm a lady very handsomely and becomingly dressed, with very bright black eyes.
"Mrs. Blimber," said Mr. Toots, "allow me to present my wife."
Mrs. Blimber was delighted to receive her. Mrs. Blimber was a little condescending, but extremely kind.
"And as you ’ve known me for a long time, you know," said Mr. Toots, "let me assure you that she is one of the most remarkable women that ever lived."
"My dear!" remonstrated Mrs. Toots.
"Upon my word and honour she is," said Mr. Toots. "I—I assure you, Mrs. Blimber, she’s a most extraordinary woman."
Mrs. Toots laughed merrily, and Mrs. Blimber led her to Cornelia. Mr. Toots having paid his respects in that direction and having saluted his old preceptor, who said, in allusion to his conjugal state, "Well, Toots, well, Toots! So you are one of us, are you, Toots?"—retired with Mr. Feeder, B.A., into a window.
Mr. Feeder, B.A., being in great spirits, made a spar at Mr. Toots, and tapped him skilfully with the back of his hand on the breastbone.
"Well, old Buck!" said Mr. Feeder with a laugh. "Well! Here we are! Taken in and done for. Eh?"
"Feeder," returned Mr. Toots. "I give you joy. If you’re as—as—as perfectly blissful in a matrimonial life, as I am myself, you ’ll have nothing to desire."
