subtle and refined for a theatrical audience. (Laughter.) In point of fact, the part labours under the fatal disadvantage of not being low comedy at all. (Roars of laughter, in which the learned Judge joined.) I am sorry to have to say this, as I have a personal regard for the Prisoner. (Laughter.) I did my best with the part. I bought a remarkably clever mechanical wig—(laughter)—for it—(laughter)—but it was useless. (Roars of laughter.) In my zeal in behalf of the Prisoner I introduced much practical "business" into the part that was not set down for me. (Laughter.) I did not charge extra for introducing practical business; I introduced it solely in the Prisoner's interest. No doubt the Prisoner remonstrated, but I knew what an audience likes much better than he does. (Laughter.) The part was soundly hissed—even the introduced scene with the guinea-pig and the hair-oil. (Roars of laughter.)
Cross-examined—This is a scene in which I ignorantly attempted to convert a guinea-pig into a rabbit by rubbing it with Mrs. Allen's Hair Restorer. (Roars of laughter.) I have never known this scene to fail before; its truth to nature ensures its success. (Laughter.) It would not have failed on this occasion, but that the audience was already thoroughly out of humour. (Laughter.) The part I played was that of a London butler. (Laughter.) I do not think it unlikely that a London butler would suppose that a guinea-pig could be converted into a rabbit. In a London cook such a mistake would be highly improbable, but not in a butler. (Laughter.) These nice distinctions are the outcome of very careful studies on my part. I am aware that you
