Among the Erza marriages are generally arranged by the parents, sometimes without the knowledge of their children, who have no voice in the matter; but this is not the case with the Moksha; with them some mutual inclination is necessary, and the young couple agree to marry before informing their parents.
Neither the Erza nor the Moksha lay much stress on the virginity of the bride, and it is certainly not a sine qua non. No disgrace attaches to a girl for giving birth to a child; it only proves she has the great merit of being able to bear children. Her child belongs to her father. The Moksha have a saying which alludes to this: “A cow is at the pasture; the proprietor gets the calf.” The Erza have borrowed from the Russians an adage of similar import: “The bull may be anybody’s, but the calf is ours.” Another proverb, common to both branches of the Mordvins, refers to the same thing: “A girl makes a child for her father, a wife for her husband, but a man for a stranger.” In some places[1] the wedding-guests break the dishes and smash everything before them if the bridegroom has remarked that the bride is a virgin, and this procedure is regarded by her parents as a special mark of honour. Mainoff opined that this practice was due to Russian influence, but exactly the same custom is reported of the Ostiaks (Ahlqvist, Unter Wogulen u. Ostjaken, p. 161), among whom the virginity of the bride seems to be rarely preserved.
In the last century polygamy, though sanctioned, was of rare occurrence, and now, of course, is prohibited.
§ 1. Marriage with capture,[2] lises, is still in force. A young man falls in love with a girl who reciprocates his feelings, and they agree to marry. Sometimes, though rarely, she refuses to make a runaway marriage, lises; but if she is willing, the lad communicates their intention to his father,
