I often met with discouragement in my way. I saw besides no prospects of advancement and more than once I felt my just claims passed over. Thus I hope you will be pleased to admit that I had reasonable grounds of complaint: but I would nevertheless have continued in my present post for sometime longer, if I were not forced to take the step I have taken by prolonged ill-health, which has made me unfit for my responsible duties, and when the above considerations had such a considerable share in the decision to which I have come, their omission in my letter would certainly have made me liable to the charge of disingenuousness. For the same reasons, I feel it very difficult to alter it now.
Further the contents of my letter, since it left my hands, have become known to a great many people and there is as much chance of the fact of the alteration becoming equally known, in which case I shall not only be lowered in the estimation of my friends, but of the public generally. *** Nothing can exceed the deep regret which I have felt since I have heard from you, that the passage in question may possibly put you to some inconvenience; but words cannot express my feelings of distress when I think that unwillingly I should have given you the least cause for trouble and inconvenience. I should certainly have felt it a great relief if circumstances had permitted me
