Thou ordainest my days to be past in ease or anguish, take not from me thy Holy Spirit ; but grant that I may attain ever lasting life, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
This I found Jan. n, 72; and believe it written when I began to live on milk. I grew worse with forbearance of solid food.
82.
Prima mane, fan. i, 1770.
Almighty God by whose mercy I am permitted to behold the beginning of another year, succour with thy help and bless with thy favour, the creature whom Thou vouchsafest to preserve. Mitigate, if it shall seem best unto thee, the diseases of my body, and compose the disorders of my mind. Dispel my terrours ; and grant that the time which thou shalt yet allow me, may not pass unprofitably away. Let not pleasure seduce me, Idleness lull me, or misery depress me J . Let me perform to thy glory, and the good of my fellow creatures the work which thou shalt yet appoint me. And grant that as I draw nearer to my dissolution, I may, by the help of thy Holy Spirit feel my knowledge of Thee encreased, my hope exalted, and my Faith strengthened, that, when the hour which is coming shall come, I may pass by a holy death to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
83.
1770, March 28, Wednesday.
This is the day on which in 52, I was deprived of poor dear Tetty. Having left off the practice of thinking on her with some particular combinations, I have recalled her to my mind of late less frequently, but when I recollect the time in which we lived together, my grief for her departure is not abated, and I have less pleasure in any good that befals me, because she does not partake it 2 . On many occasions I think what she would have said or done. When I saw the sea at Brighthelmston, I wished
1 The following words he had corded in his Journal : * As I entered struck out : 'Let my remaining days my wife was in my mind ; she would be innocent and useful.' have been pleased. Having now
2 When five years later he entered nobody to please I am little pleased.' the Palais Bourbon at Paris, he re- Life, ii. 393.
E 3 for
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