36
THE OLD STONE MANSION.
into this apartment for a moment. The soft
velvet carpet, the crimson curtains, the wood fire
blasing on the hearth, gave it such a warm,
home-like air, that the bare, cold floor of my
room and the curtainless bed, seemed to me
more cheerlees even than they were; and the
tears fell as I undressed.
‘‘What a funny child it is,” I heard one of the maids say to another, with a laugh, for a second servant had joined us, no doubt from curiosity. ‘“‘She puts her stockings into her shoes, and each shoe in its place, under the chair, just like a little old maid.”
‘‘She’s had to look out for herself, that’s plain,” said the other, ‘‘and isn't like Miss Georgy down stairs.”
‘‘T wonder what beggar’s brat it is?”
‘‘Hueh!”’ said the other. ‘She isn’t just that. I’ve heard sl) about it, and will tell you, by-and- bye.”
My heart was full. It was as much as I could do to keep down the choking sobs. When J had undressed, I was tempted, for a moment, to get into bed, without first kneeling down, as my mother had taught me, to say my prayers, for I felt, instinctively, that the maids would laugh at me. But after a short struggle, I slipped down at the side of the bed and began. One of the servants began to titter. This disturbed me so that I forgot what I had to say. I could only remember one sentence of my old prayer, and that was no longer applicable: -‘God bless mamma and make her well;” and at this, my little remaining composure gave way, I burst into audible sobbing, and in that state was lifted into bed by the less giddy of the two maids. Here I buried my head in the covers and wept myself to sleep.
Such was my firet night in my uncle’s house. Such was the beginning of my real orphanage, for, while my mother lived, though I was father- less, and often cold and hungry, I had some one who l knew loved me.
CHAPTER II.
I Loox back on the years spent in my uncle's house and wonder how I survived them. I was made to feel, in every way, that I was an alien and incumbrance there. My uncle, perhaps, was less blamable than any of the others; was, indeed, ignorant of many of the indignities put upon me; but even he never loved me. His wife disliked and tyrannized over me, for she was one of those natures who was jealous by organisa- tion; and she hated everybody who came into competition, in any way, with Georgians. As for my cousin, though she had some good quali- ties, she was spoiled by indulgence; and was the tool of her mother. There was not an hour ‘in the day that I was not made to feel that | was a dependent. The servants, like most of their class, were time-servers, and insulted and abused me, because they saw no one loved me.
_ But the world knew nothing of this. My ‘aunt was too prudent to provoke public opinion against her. She was not ignorant of the wis dom of keeping up an appearance of being kind to her husband’s orphan niece. I was, there fore, sent to the same school with Georgiana: and if not dressed as elegantly, still dressed suitably. I ate at the family table, and sat ip the family pew. All this, considering the treat- ment I received in the house, exasperated me. I heard my sunt praised for her generosity, when I knew it was a falsehood. My temper became soured; I was regarded as sullen; | thought everybody disliked me. I shunned the companionship even of girls of my own age. | became indifferent to dress, because everybody praised Georgiana and nobody praised me; and went by the name of sloven. I recall the weary, weary days at echool, where I heard other girls talking of their happy homes, when I had none. I even seo, sometimes, in fancy, a tall, thin, awkward, sandy-haired child, whose fingers were always soiled with ink, and whose hair was often unbrushed, the jest of half her classmates and the pity of the rest: and I look back on that child, oh! with what inexpressible pity; for I think of myself, in those long and dreary years, as of another person entirely.
I was naturally high-spirited. But I came at last to bearing everything, not meekly indeed, but in silence. The worm did not even turn on the heel that crushed it. Yes! sometimes it did. | remember once, that Georgiana had just received a beautiful wax doll, a miracle of mechanism as it seemed to me then; and I ventured to take it up, one day, when she was out of the room How bitterly I thought that no one had ever given me anything a tithe so beautiful! I was still gazing in wonder on the doll, as I held it in my arms, when my cousin came back. She flew at me in a rage, snatched the doll away, slapped me on the face, and then, though I had not dared to strike her back, burst into a passion of scresms, which brought my aunt, the nursery-maid, te house-maid and the footman, all rushing into the room together. Without stopping to inquire about the facts, my aunt seized me, shook me till I was breathless, and threw me toward the maid, whom she directed to put me to bed supperless, which was accordingly done, the maid telling me,
