according as Hieronymus saith. Also, when I consider by what means choler is engendered: I see that one falleth into it upon this cause, another upon that: but in all of them it seemeth this general opinion there is, that they think themselves to be despised and naught set by. And therefore we ought to meet with such as seem to defend and maintain themselves, as being angry for just cause, and to cure them after this manner; namely, by diverting and removing from them, as far as ever we can, all suspicion of contempt and contumacy in those that have offended them and moved their anger; in laying the fault upon inconsiderate folly, necessity, sickness, infirmity and misery, as Sophocles did in these verses:
For those, my lords, whose state is in distress.
Have not their spirits and wits as heretofore:
As fortune frowns, they waxen ever less,
Nay, gone are quite, though fresh they were before.
And Agamemnon, albeit he laid the taking away of Briseis from Achilles upon Ate (that is to say) some fatal infortunity, yet
He willing was and prest, him to content.
And unto him rich gifts for to present.
For to beseech and intreat are signs of a man that despiseth not, and when the party who hath given offence becometh humble and lowly, he removeth all the opinion that might be conceived of contempt. But he that is in a fit of choler must not attend and wait until he see that, but rather help himself with the answer of Diogenes. These fellows here said one unto him. Do deride thee, Diogenes; but I (quoth he again) do not find that I am derided; even so ought a man who is angry not to be persuaded that he is contemned of another, but rather that himself hath just cause to contemn him, and to think that the fault committed did proceed of infirmity, error, heady-rashness, sloth and idleness, a base and illiberal mind, age or youth.
And as for our servants and friends, we must by all means quit them hereof, or pardon them at leastwise: For surely they cannot be thought to contemn us, in regard that they think us unable to be revenged, or men of no execution if we went about it: but it is either by reason of our remissness and mildness, or else of our love and affection, that we seem to be smally regarded by them, whiles our servants presume of our tractable nature, easy to be pacified, and our friends of our exceeding love that cannot be soon shaken off. But now we are provoked
