Page:Poets of John Company.djvu/112

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Also we've adopted (lest you should not prove obedient
When ordered from Calcutta) this most excellent expedient;
Writers very oft are packed in palanquins (like cages) straight,
And thus sent off to learn Oordoo with some upcountry magistrate."
Sure, this is better. Sir, than sinecure or chancery,
Such care ('tis quite parental) of our younger sons!

"All you've to learn are some few dialects, (you'll do it; if
You don't why you're deported) in about a year:
That's for you writers, but such knowledge is intuitive
In soldiers, old or young — at least that's what we hear:
Ensigns, day by day, poor boys, dragged roaring from their mess away.
Forced to rule whole districts, hit or miss, surmise and guess away:
Meanwhile you, lucky dog, in happy ease your bile expectorate
As seventh sub-assistant in some excellent collectorate!"
Who would wish for sinecure or mastership in chancery.
With such immense advantages for younger sons?

Here he stops: 'twere time he should, for Billy might look cross upon it.
Had he heard his Mentor by mistake rehearse
The orthodox Bentinckian creed with Mr. Ross's gloss upon it—
Here it is for you, though. Sir, in doggerel verse.
"All but B. C. S. collectors for their offices sufficient are!
All moonsiffs are immaculate, all judges inefficient are!
No military favourite (whatever his condition) errs!
And colonels of artillery are heaven-born commissioners!"
Mum though, compared with joys of sinecure or chancery.
This might turn out discouraging to younger sons.