Page:Rolland - A musical tour through the land of the past.djvu/37

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An English Amateur
25

He took a notion to write down his own ideas upon music. These, if we may believe him, were something extraordinary; he was inclined to think that he held the key to the mystery of sounds:

Banister played on his flageolet, and I had a very good discourse with him about musique, so confirming some of my new notions about musique that it puts me upon a resolution to go on and make a scheme and theory of musique not yet ever made in the world.[1]

Made Tom to prick down some little conceits and notions of mine, in musique, which do mightily encourage me to spend some more thoughts about it; for I fancy, upon good reason, that I am in the right way of unfolding the mystery of this matter, better than ever yet.[2]

Do not take the man for an empty egoist. What is so delightful in him is the sincerity and the childlike enthusiasm of his love of music. He loves it only too well. He is afraid of it:

We sent for his sister's viall … I played also, which I have not done this long time before upon any instrument, and at last broke up, and I to my office a little while, being fearful of being too much taken with musique, for fear of returning to my old dotage thereon, and so neglect my business as I used to do.[3]

But he could not help himself: music was the stronger.

God forgive me! I do still see that my nature is not to be quite conquered, but will esteem pleasure above all things, though yet in the middle of it, it has reluctance after my business, which is neglected by my following my pleasure. However, musique and women I cannot but give way to, whatever my business is.[4]

He feels music so acutely that it makes him ill at times:

  1. 29th March, 1668.
  2. 11th January, 1669.
  3. 17th February, 1663.
  4. 9th March, 1666.