in my Creator alone. Dear sorrow and desolation, that I had to suffer when husband, wife, father, mother, dearest child was taken from me by a premature death! Ah, what do I not owe you! Then I learned to know the inconstancy and transitory nature of all earthly joys and comforts, and how to resign myself humbly and contentedly in all things to the will of God, and then too I was able to say from my heart: “Our Father, who art in heaven, Thy will be done! “All these troubles and difficulties have been happily overcome; they are now vanished forever, and I am in possession of eternal joys! Now I shall praise and extol for all eternity the great mercy and manifold graces that the Lord showed me: “The mercies of the Lord I will sing forever.”[1] Oh, truly joyful, my dear brethren, are the memories that occur to the blessed in heaven! What could be more consoling?
Of the good works done during life. Still there is another thing that increases this joy of the memory; it is the recollection of the good works and merits that the elect amassed during life, for which they now receive such an exceeding great reward in eternity. O my God! they will think, I am in heaven, and what have I done to get here? I have not shed my blood, nor endured pains and torments like the holy martyrs who rejoice with me in glory; I have not labored to that end till the last day; how is it that such a great reward has fallen to me? Oh, how little I have done for it! A few years ago, while I was still on earth, I began to serve Thee, my God, and to keep Thy commandments, none of which after that I ever transgressed grievously; and while engaged in Thy service, under Thy sweet yoke I enjoyed the utmost peace and comfort of mind, and a repose of conscience that I would not have exchanged for any pleasure in the world. And is that all I did? Yes; that is all. And on account of it I am now in the glory of my Lord! So little have I paid for heaven! I have often sinned, and afterwards sincerely repented and tried to be all the more zealous in the performance of good works in order to make some atonement for the insults I offered Thee; and for that I now receive as a reward an ocean of delights! I have for God’s sake practised a little mortification in rising in the morning, I have spent half an hour in devotion, said my morning prayers (the words I used to say with assembled people during my life are still ringing in my ears: “All for the honor and glory of God”), I directed my
- ↑ Misericordias Domini in æternum cantabo.—Ps. lxxxviii. 1.
