turned in a moment, and said, " Colonel Ander son " (in Texas when a lawyer successfully de fends a murder case they call him Colonel), "you forgot to tell me what book it was." " Oh, go along, you blockhead! there is only one book there," said Mac; and aside to his colleague, "And that is a copy of the Republican Campaign Text-book." A distinguished Federal judge, who is said to be somewhat too caustic in his wit, at a complimentary dinner recently given him in a Southern city, wishing to produce a laugh at the expense of a prominent lawyer, cut off the ears of a roasted pig and directed a waiter to take them to the lawyer with his compliments. The lawyer, who had long considered himself, as the company well knew, unfortunate with his cases in the judge's court, received the ears gracefully, and directed the servant to say to the judge that he felt especially thankful for the gift, as he had vainly sought for a long time before to get the ear of the court. — Virginia Law yournal.
A good story is told of the late Chief-Justice Mellen, of Maine. A very deaf old man was the defendant in a suit in which the judge, then at the bar, argued the cause of the plaintiff. As Mr. Mellen was proceeding with his argument with much earnestness, the defendant became greatly excited, and making many ineffectual attempts to hear what Mr. Mellen was saying to the jury, he at last exclaimed : " I don't know what you are saying, 'Squire Mellen, but I can swear it's a d d lie." A lawyer of Temple Court was looking over some papers his German client had brought, and every signature had a menace in it, as it stood, — "A Schwindler." "Mr. Schwindler, why don't you write your name some other way, — write out your first name, or something? I don't want people to think you are a swindler." "Veil, my Got, sir, how much better you dink dat looks? " and he wrote, — "A dam Schwindler." —The Hotel Man s Guide.
"I don't know about that, I don't know about that," exclaimed a New York judge, interrupting
a counsellor whose pungency was equal to his learning and ability. "I perceive that your Honor does not know, but I do," was the reply. First Female Juror (some years hence). That fool of a woman who wants a divorce admits that her husband hung up a lot of pictures, and put up ten curtains and six lengths of stovepipe without saying one bad word or even losing his temper. Second Female Juror. Yes; the man must be an angel. Let 's give her the divorce, and maybe one of us can get him. — Philadelphia Record. An action was recently brought before Mr. Justice Hawkins in England, to recover the value of two casks of herrings furnished many years before. "Why such long delay? " asked the judge. "Why." said the plaintiff, " I again and again, whenever I could find him, asked for payment, until at last he told me to go to the devil, upon which I thought it was high time for me to come to your lordship." The strong point of a member of the bar in a neighboring State is his faculty for getting the truth out of witnesses. The following is a sample of his system of cross-examination : — "Are you a married man?" "No, sir, I am a bachelor." "Will you please tell this court and jury how long you have been a bachelor, and what were the circumstances that induced you to become one?"
"Well," said an Irish attorney, " if it piaze tne court, if I am wrong in this I have another point that is equally conclusive."
"Have you," asked the judge of a recently convicted man, " anything to offer the court be fore sentence is passed?" "No, your Honor " replied the prisoner; " my lawyer took my last cent."
"I shall give you ten days or ten dollars," said Judge Walsh to a trembling wretch. "All right, Judge," answered the trembling wretch; "I'll take the ten dollars." — 7udgc.
