tain town for the night. After supper the worthy judge asked the worthy landlord "for a glass of gin." The landlord said he was sorry, he could not accommodate him. "I am obliged by law to keep a temperance house." It was late; so the judge could not go on that night, but he told the landlord he would leave early the next morning before breakfast. "Very well, I will carry your valise and show you to your room." The judge was thereupon taken to a fine room; the landlord said, "I hope you will be comfortable," and retired. There was an open stove in the room, where Judge C found a bottle of brandy. He went to the wash-stand and opened it; there he found a bottle of gin, water, glasses, etc. In a cupboard was a bottle of old Bourbon. The judge, after helping himself, went down and told the landlord he would not leave early. After breakfast the next morning, the judge paid his bill, and said to the landlord, "I have been a great opposer of 'temperance houses,' and always refuse to stop at one; but I like the hang of yours, and will call when ever I come this way." "I am sorry," replied the landlord, "I could not let you have some gin last evening; but the law is so strict, and my neighbors keep close watch, so I am obliged to keep a 'temperance house.'"
One of the judges of the West Virginia Court of Appeals tells the following as having actually occurred when he was examining an applicant for license. The applicant was of mature years, having previously held the office of justice.
Judge. What are the requisites of a valid will?
Applicant. Can't tell 'em all, Judge, but I remember one is that it must be read at the burial over the grave of the testator.
Judge. What is a fee simple?
Applicant. I guess about two dollars and a half.
Judge. What is the largest estate in land?
Applicant. A very large estate would, in this country, be about one thousand acres.—Virginia Law Journal.
As Rufus Choate was cross-examining a witness, he asked him what profession he followed for a livelihood.
The witness replied: "I am a candle of the Lord,—a minister of the Gospel."
"Of what denomination?" asked the counsellor.
"A Baptist," replied the witness.
"Then," said Mr. Choate, "you are a dipped, but I trust not a wick-ed candle."
There was a very irascible old gentleman who formerly held the position of justice of the peace in one of our cities. Going down the main street one day, one of the boys spoke to him without coming up to his Honor's idea of deference.
"Young man, I fine you five dollars for contempt of court."
"Why, Judge," said the offender, "you are not in session."
"This court," responded the judge, thoroughly irritated, "is always in session, and consequently always an object of contempt!"
At a term of Common Pleas in Indiana, during the trial of an Irish will case, Tim Dooley was on the stand and thus testified:—
"I am brother to Molly Flaherty, and I am brother to Betty Hoolahan."
"Then, Mr. Dooley," said Judge B, "we are to understand that you are two brothers?"
"Yis, Misther Judge," replied Dooley, with great deliberation; "aitch of me sisters had a brother!"
A negro who was giving evidence in a Georgia court was reminded by the judge that he was to tell the whole truth.
"Well, yer see, boss," said the dusky witness, "I'se skeered to tell de whole truth for fear I might tell a lie."
"Your Honor, I am summoned to serve on the grand jury, but I wish you would excuse me."
"What is your business, sir?"
"I am a coal-merchant, your Honor, and very busy this weather."
"You are excused, sir, on the ground that it would be impossible for a coal-dealer to weigh a matter properly and find a true bill."
