THE^ LIGHTER SIDE Justice Stumbled. — During the recent trial of J. B. Lipscomb, a former policeman, for alleged assault, an incident occurred in the criminal court which, it is thought, gave the defense a slight advantage. Assistant United States Attorney Turner was only too glad to ridicule the claim of the defense that the policeman stumbled while pursuing the man who was shot and that the shot was acciden. tally fired. "Why should he have stumbled?" Mr. Turner asked. " Almost an impossibility." It became necessary for the prosecuting officer to walk over to the judge's bench, and before reaching the judge he stumbled, the only thing keeping him from falling being the lack of space. "There," said Attorney Carrington, " the learned district attorney has stumbled. Mr. Turner had to admit that he had stum bled, although two of the jurors declared they had not witnessed the incident. "And the failure of you two gentlemen to see it," the defendant's counsel argued, " is in line with the testimony. If the jurors didn't see Mr. Turner stumble at such close range, is it not possible that the witnesses who were so far away from Lipscomb didn't see what happened?" There was no answer to his argument, and Lipscomb was acquitted. —• Washington Star. Circuity of Action. — In suit to enjoin tres pass by neighbor's hens court says: Without aiming to detract frofn the dig nity and importance of the Iowa hen it would be intolerable to require of this plaintiff that he sue separately for the damage done by each cackling hen and stately rooster upon the occasion of each predatory excursion across the fateful road. Law Language. — The following clipping from the Christian Advocate, while greatly ex aggerating the subject, yet contains much truth: "If I were to give you an orange," said Judge Foote of Topeka to D. G. McCray, " I would simply say, ' I give you this orange,' but should the transaction be intrusted to a lawyer to put in writing he would adopt this form: ' I hereby give, grant and convey to you all my interest, right, title and advantage of and in said orange, together with its rind, skin,
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juice, pulp and pits and all rights and advan tage therein, with full power to bite, suck or otherwise eat the same, or give away with or without the rind, skin, juice, pulp or pits, anything hereinbefore, or in any other deed or deeds, instruments of any nature or kind whatsoever, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding."" Integral Calculus.— The court officer who brought in the prisoner was a new man, and not familiar with the technical language of the law, so when the Judge asked: • "What is this man accused of, Mr. Officer?" he replied with some .hesitation, " Bigotry, your Honor?" "What? " said the Judge, " Bigotry? I didn't know that was a crime in Massachu setts. What has he been doing?" "He's married three women, your Honor." "Oh, married three women! Why that isn't bigotry, that's trigonometry. The Doctor. — Lord Bramwell, a notable wit of the English bench, was once sitting in a case where the prisoner was accused of shop lifting, " My lord, my client is not a common thief," urged the barrister for the defence. "He is suffering from kleptomania." " That is exactly the disease I am here to cure," replied Lord Bramwell, blandly.' Satisfaction.— He had been asked, on crossexamination, a lot of useless questions, among others whether or not he was born in Ireland, which last he had truthfully answered in the affirmative. Then he was asked to explain the meaning of some of the words he had used; all for the purpose of confusing hin^ before the real point was reached. Then counsel went on: "When you said you were ' satisfied ' just now, you meant, I suppose, that you were content?" "I did not." "Well, satisfied and content are just the same are they not?" "They are not." "Well, suppose you explain to the Court and jury what the difference is." "Sure, I will. Now, for instance, I might be satisfied that it was you I saw out behind the barn kissing my wife, Nora, but I'd be far from being content."
