THE LIGHTER SIDE Tears Produced in Court. — In a case re cently tried in Fall River before Judge Bell, Dr. George L. Walton of Boston appeared as a witness for the defence. The plaintiff claimed that he had£been severely injured by a car leaving the rails, and that he had suffered as a result of this injury for over two years and was still suffering. Dr. Walton testified that he had examined the plaintiff, and that in his opinion the symptoms that the plaintiff complained of were within his own control and were not genuine. Upon cross-examination Waldo Reed of Fall River took each sympton separately and made each into a question which ended with, "Do you believe that to be a genuine symptom doctor? " and to each question Dr. Walton said " No." The star question was reached and Reed's voice trembled with emotion as he asked, "Dr. Walton when pressure was applied to this man's back between his shoulder blades tears came to his eyes; do you believe this to be a genuine symptom?" "No," said Walton. Dr. Walton, can a man make tears come to his eyes without cause?" "Hum," said Walton, " I've seen lawyers do it in court."— Daily Law Journal. Dog Day Law.— In Pittsburg a woman recently died and left a thousand dollars by her will to her kioodle, Spot by name. The probate court intimated that the bequest could not be carried out, as a dog could not legally hold property, and therefore could not inherit it. Thereupon Jaggers, with a sooty coach dog at his heels, arose and said: " Your Honor, I appear as attorney for the dog, Spot, the same which is now at bar. I beg to say that the court does not fully understand this question. While it is true that a dog cannot hold property, yet a trustee can. And in this instance this dog Spot stands in its relation to the court as an incompetent person, and I now request that I be appointed trustee for the person of the beneficiary and be allowed to give bonds for the faithful performance of my duty. This dog requires care, education, maintenance and at times, medical attendance,
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and I stand ready to carry out the wishes of the deceased." The Court here seemingly lost his temper and blurted out, " No dog, or attorney for a dog, has any standing in this court. I ask that counsel and his client kinsman will make room for the next case. Out damned Spot — out I say! One, two — hell is murky — out!" — The Phillistine. Ifof Law. — In a jury tria in New York recently the attorney for the defendant started Jn to read to the jury from a certain volume of the Supreme Courts reports. He was inter rupted by the Court, who said: "Colonel , it is not admissible, you know, to read law to the jury." "Yes, I understand, your Honor; I am only reading to the jury a decision of the Supreme Court. ' ' — Philadelphia Ledger. The Ingenous Counsel.
The trial it progressed and to it he bore His zeal, his skill, his learning of law and lore; His evidence cumulated, yet his witnesses swore and swore To everything he wanted and to more and more and more. But, Alas! Each a different tale did unfold And no two of them the same story told. The defense rested then his procedure he did elect And moved the wondering Court, a verdict to direct. "Direct a verdict? " His Honor cried with zest, "Your motion counsellor is surely made in jest, This evidence here a unanimity most decidedly lacks, Each witness has testified to a different state of facts." "That I know," the ingenious counsel urbanely replied, "For upon that circumstance have I purposely relied, A similarity of recital to avoid, I diligently sought, Fearing the monotony, would tire the learned ' Court." Louis Heft.
