The Balm (7 ) of Litigation Or, it may be that some one has wronged you in purse,
And when you have dunned him is very averse To paying the sum, and anathemas dread Calls down in his wrath on your innocent head, —
That he tells you to go where the climate is hot, And of paying the bill he has never a thought. You are outraged in mind that he'd be such a knave, And you say to yourself that justice you'll have
By suing at law for the overdue money, And seek the advice of some guileless attorney, Who tells you his heart is wrung with your wrong, That no one can hinder success very long, If you'll employ him in bringing a suit You'll get judgment, and teach rogues a lesson to boot. So you hurry to court where your fortunes are cast, But the lawyer, he keeps all the money at last. Maybe troubles domestic have clouded your skies,
And the wife who was once as the light of your eyes Has broken the peace that surrounded your hearth,
And you feel now that she is the worst upon earth. You forget for the time all the love of the past,
For the box of Pandora has opened at last, With all of its troubles and plagues brought to view, And stored till this moment expressly for you. The thought that yourself may be wrong ne'er occurs But you feel without question the fault is all hers. You go to the lawyer just over the way, Who sits like a spider awaiting his prey, You tell him your troubles, laying all on your wife, That she is in fault for the whole of the strife. He condoles your misfortune, advises divorce,
And charges fat fees as a matter of course. Court severs the contract that heaven ordained, And a future of blight and dishonor is gained. What then shall I say of the courts of the land, Where the blindfolded Miss holds the scales in her hand? Are they wrong? No, by no means; the courts are all right, When viewed as they should be, through reason's clear light. The ermine of justice, unspotted and pure, Makes our liberties safe, abiding and sure. We could not do without them a moment I ween; They're the wheels most important in all the machine Of the State; and no freeman should ever deny This or should question the how or the why, But swallow the creed as it here is pronounced,
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