JOCKEY AND MAGGY.
Min.] No John, you have been too slackly dealt with, I’ll bring you to obedience by law, since you eject counsel.
Jock.] A deed stir, I wad think naething to stan’ a time or twa on't to please you, if there were naebody in the kirk on a uke day, but you and the elders to flyte a wee on me; but ’tis war on a Sunday, to hae a body looking an laughing at me, as I had been coding the pease, suppen the kirn, or something that’s no bonny like pissing the bed.
Min.] A weel John never mind you these things, come ye to the stool, its nothing when 'tis over, we cannot say o’er much to you about it.
Upon Sunday thereafter John comes with Uncle Rabby’s auld wide coat, a muckle grey lang tail’d wig an a big bonnet, which cover’d his face, so that he seem’d more like an old Pilgrim than a young fornicator; mounts the creepy wi’ a stiff stiff back as he had been a man of sixty, every one looked at him, thinking he was some old stranger who knew not the stool of repentance by another seat, so that he passed the first day unknown but to very few, yet on the second it came to be known, that the whole parish and many more came to see him; which caused such a confusion that he was absolved, and got his children baptized the next day.
But there happened a tullie between the twa mothers who would have both their names to be John, a weel, a weel, says old John their father to the minister, deed stir ye maun ca’ the tane John and the ither Jock, an’ that will please baith these enemies o' mankind.
Min.] A weel John suppose ye do, it is still twa Johns nevertheless.
Jock.] A deed stir, ye maun gie the wicked a’ their will, we’s ca' the bystart Jockie, an my son Johnny.
Bell: On wi’t some way and let her ca’t as she likes.
Min.] A dear John but ye speak indifferently about this matter, ye know not the nature of it.