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The wonderful works of our John.
Part III.

Jock. Just when she came to be my mither's lass, I never saw her but ance before, an gin I had never seen her, I had never kend her after sic a fashious fashion.

Mess John. How long was the serving with your mother?

Jock. Just twa hailyerts: an I got her wi' bairn about a year after she came, and its no a year yet since I was married.

Mess John. Dear John, there is a contradiction indeed, a woman cannot go two years with child.

Jock. Deed stir, it was then the child was first gotten.

Mess John. A John, John, I find you out to be a sinful liver, you and that woman has had carnal dealings for some time; it is ill keeping the cow out of the corn, if she once get a way of going to it, ye should actually have married the poor woman, when ye cohabited so long together.

Jock. No, stir, we didna cow-habit together, tho' she kist me, an I kist her, sometimes in the barn, an sometimes in the byre: nane ken't o't but my mither, an she wadna let me tak her, but sent me awa to court our Maggy.

His mither cries thro' the hole o' the door: A ye senseless sumph, is that a' the thanks I get for counselling you to do weel, war nae me ye wad a been married on a lown like, leepet, lazzy lump; who had neither wit nor wyles, no sae muckle judgement as wyse the wind frae her tail but lute it gang afore fouks.

Up gets the elders crying, Fy, fy, Duncan, the bellman drive that wicked wife frae the door, she disturbs us all.

Duncan runs to the door whispering, shame fa' you for a wife, haud out o' that: but I wad rather hear you, as hear them yet.

Mess John. Now, John, will ye be so plain as tell me whether ye promised to marry the woman or no, when ye lay with her.