start, canna ye chrisen the weel coin'd ane, let the bystart stand for its ain skaith without a name.
Min. No John, you have been too slackly dealt with, I'll bring you to obedience by law, since you reject counsel.
Jock. A deed stir, I wad think naething to stan a time or twa on't to please you, if there were nae body in the kirk on a uke day, but you an the elders to flyte a wee on me; but 'tis war on a Sunday, to hae a' body looking an laughing at me, as I had been coding the pease, suppen the kirn, or something that's no bonny like pissing the bed.
Min. A well John never mind you these things, come ye to the stool, 'tis nothing when 'tis over, we cannot say o'er much to you about it.
Upon Sunday thereafter John comes with Uncle Rabby's auld wide coat, a muckle grey lang tail'd wig an a big bonnet, which cover'd his face, so that he seem'd more like an old pilgrim than a young fornicator; mounts the creepy with a stiff stiff back as he had been a man of sixty, every one looked at him, thinking he was some old stranger that knew not the stool of repentance by another seat, so that he passed the first day unknown but to very few, yet or the second it came to be known, that the whole parish and many more came to see him; which caused such confusion that he was absolved, and got his children baptized the next day.
But there happened a tullie between the twa mothers who would have both their names to be John, a weel, a weel, says old John their father to the minister, deed stir, ye maun ca' the taen John an the tither Jock, an' that will please baith these enemies o' mankind.
Min. A well, John, suppose ye do, it is still twa Johns nevertheless.
Jock. A deed stir, ye maun gie the wicked a' their will, we's ca' the bystart Jockey, an my son Johnny Bell: On wit some way an let her ca't as she likes.
