Page:Witty and entertaining exploits of George Buchanan (10).pdf/21

This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.

( 21 )

before you pronounce my ſentence to be put in execution againſt me. It was my fortune to be paſſing through this city a few months ago, with the Britiſh ambaſſador, on our way to Italy; and one day being walking in the king's garden in preſence of the king, and many of his nobles, who can bear witneſs to the truth of the ſame; I being ignorant of your traditions and rites of religion, fooliſhly offended, reproaching the Virgin Mary to her face; and ever ſince ſhe has plagued me with a boundneſs in my belly, that I have voided nothing but clean hach; ſo now on my return I went and implored her to open my fundament, and ſhe has done ſo: I being overjoyed with the miraculous healing, in getting paſſage in her preſence, I left it as a memorial of the miracle in that place. When hearing this, they all with one conſent, lifted up their hands and bleſſed the Virgin Mary for the wonderful miracle ſhe had done; and ordered George to go about his buſineſs, and declare unto all what was done unto him by the holy Virgin, for the confirmation of their religion. So all the devout Romans came to view his dung, and worſhip over it; the king himſelf kneeled down, and worſhipped, bowing his body over it, in preſence of many people; and alſo cauſed a holy day to be obſerved thro' all his dominions, for the miraculous cure.

Now George being a long time abſent from Britain, he thought to go and viſit the king and his court in diſguiſe. He meeting with an old man driving two old horſes, loaded with coals to ſell, George here makes a bargain with the old man, for the loan of his clothes, his horſes and coals, whip, and every thing for to complete him as a real coal-driver; ſo away he goes in this dreſs, until he came before the king's palace, where he began to cry with an audible voice, Buy coals, buy coals; better buy than borrow. Now the king being in company with his young chaplain, who was a foundling, here knew his original, and had been fuſſered and educated out of charity by the king's father, yet he was become as proud as Lucifer, and as proud in his own conceit as the king himſelf. Now, the king knowing George's voice, tho' he was in a coalman's dreſs, deſired the chaplain to aſk the coalman why he called ſo loud, making ſuch a terrible noiſe. The chaplain opened the window, and with great airs called unto him, You, Sir, Why do you cry ſo for? Why, ſays George, I cry for people to come and buy my coals, and give me money for them; but what do you cry