OF CURIOSITY

THE SUMMARY

[The former treatise hath shewed unto us how many mischiefs and inconveniences anger causeth, teaching us the means how to beware of it. Now Plutarch dealeth with another vice, no less dangerous than it, which bendeth to the opposite extremity. For whereas ire doth so bereave a man of the use of reason during the access and fit thereof, that the choleric and furious persons differ not one from another, but in the space of time. This curiosity which now is in hand, being masked under the name of wisdom and hability of spirit, is (to say a truth) a covert and hidden fury, which carrieth the mind of the curious person past himself, for to gather and heap from all parts the ordure and filthiness of another, and afterwards to bring the same into himself, and to make thereof a very storehouse, for to infect his own self first, and then others, according as the malignity and malice, the follies, backbiting, and slanders of these curious folk do sufficiently declare. To the end, therefore, that every man who loveth virtue should divert from such a malady, our author sheweth that the principal remedy for to preserve us from it, is to turn this curiosity to our own selves; namely, to examine our own persons more diligently than others. Which point he amplifieth by setting down on the contrary side the blindness of those who are over-busy and curious. Then cometh he to declare why a curious person goeth forth always out of his own house for to enter into another man's; to wit, because of his own filthiness, which by that means he cannot smell and perceive; but whiles he will needs go to stir and rake into the life of others, he snareth and entangleth himself, and so perisheth in his own folly and indiscretion. Afterwards proceeding to prescribe the remedies for the cure of curiosity, when he had deciphered the villanies and indignities thereof, together with the nature of curious persons, and the enormous vices which accompany them, he requireth at our hands that we should not be desirous to know things which be vile, base, lewd or unprofitable; that we should hold in our eyes, and not cast them at random and adventure within the house of another, that we should not seek after the bruit and rumours that are spread in meetings and companies; that we otherwhiles should forbear even such things whereof the use is lawful and permitted: also to take heed that we do not enter nor sound too deep into our own affairs; Finally, not to be rash and heady in those things that we do, be they never so small. All these points premised, he adorneth with inductions, similitudes and choice examples, and knitteth up all with one conclusion, which proveth that curious folk ought to be ranged among the most mischievous and dangerous persons in the world.]

The best way haply it were altogether to avoid an house and not therein at all to dwell, which is close, without fresh air, dark, standing bleak and cold, or otherwise unhealthful: Howbeit, if a man by reason that he hath been long used to such an house, delight in that seat, and will there abide, he may either, by altering the prospects and removing the lights, or by changing the stairs into another place, or else by opening the doors of one side, and shutting them upon another, make the house more lightsome, better exposed to the wind for to receive fresh air, and in one word, more wholesome than before. And verily some have much amended whole cities by the like alterations: as, for example, men say that one Chaeron in times past turned my native city and place of nativity, Chaeronea, to lie eastward, which before looked toward the western wind Zephyrus, and received the sun setting from the mount Parnassus. And Empedocles, the natural philosopher, by stopping up the mouth or deep chink of a certain mountain between two rocks, which breathed out a noisome and pestilent southern wind upon all the champaign country and plain underneath, was thought to have put by the plague, which, by occasion of that wind, reigned ordinarily before in that country.

Now forasmuch as there be certain hurtful and pestiferous passions, which send up into our soul tempestuous troubles and darkness, it were to be wished that they were chased out quite, and thrown down to the very ground; whereby we might give ourselves a free prospect, an open and clear light, a fresh and pure air; or if we be not so happy, yet at leastwise endeavour we ought, by all means possible, to change, alter, translate, transpose and turn them so about, as they may be found more fit and commodious to serve our turns. As, for example, and to go no farther for the matter, curiosity, which I take to be a desire to know the faults and imperfections in other men, is a vice or disease which seemeth not clear of envy and maliciousness: And unto him that is infected therewith may very well be said:

Most spightful and envious man,

Why dost thou ever find

With piercing eyes thy neighbour's faults,

And in thine own art blind?

Divert thine eyes a little from things without, and turn thy much meddling and curiosity to those that be within. If thou take so great a pleasure and delight to deal in the knowledge and history of evil matters, thou hast work enough iwis at home, thou shalt find plenty thereof within to occupy thyself:

For look what water runs along
An isthmus or isle we see,
Or leaves lie spread about the oak,
Which numbered cannot be.

Such a multitude shalt thou find of sins in thy life, of passions in thy soul, and of oversights in thy duties. For like as Xenophon saith, That good stewards of an household have one proper room by itself for those utensils or implements which serve for sacrifice; another for vessel that cometh to the table; in one place he layeth up the instruments and tools for tillage and husbandry, and in another apart from the rest he bestoweth weapons, armour and furniture for the wars; even so shalt thou see within thyself a number of manifold vices how they are digested: some proceeding from envy, others from jealousy; some from idleness, others from niggardise: take account of these (I advise thee), survey and peruse them over well: shut all the doors and windows that yield prospect unto thy neighbours: stop up the avenues that give access and passage to curiosity: But set open all other doors that lead into thine own bed-chamber, and other lodgings for men, into thy wife's cabinet and the nursery, into the rooms where thy servants keep: There shalt thou meet wherewith to amuse and busy thyself: there may curiosity and desire to know everything be employed in exercises neither unprofitable nor malicious: nay, in such as be commodious, wholesome and tending to salvation: namely, whiles every one calleth himself to account, saying thus:

Where have I done, what good I have done.
Or what have I misdone?
Where have I slipt, what duty begun
Is left by me undone?

But now, according as fables make report, that Lamia the witch, whiles she is at home is stark blind, and doth nothing but sing, having her eyes shut up close within a little box; but when she means to go abroad she takes them forth, and setteth them in their right place, and seeth well enough with them; even so, every one of us when we go forth, set unto that evil meaning and intention which we have to others, an eye to look into them, and that is curiosity and over-much meddling; but in our own errors, faults and trespasses we stumble and fail through ignorance, as having neither eyes to see, nor light about them whereby they may be seen. And therefore it is, that a busy fellow and curious meddler doth more good to his enemies than to himself; for their faults he discovereth and bringeth to light, to them he sheweth what they ought to beware of, and what they are to amend: but all this while he overseeth, or rather seeth not the most things that are done at home, so deeply amused he is and busy in spying what is amiss abroad, Howbeit, wise Ulysses would not abide to speak and confer with his own mother, before he had inquired of the prophet those things for which he went down into hell; and when he had once heard them, then he turned to his mother and other women also, asking what was Tyro? what was Chloris? and what was the occasion and cause that Eperaste came by her death?

Who knit her neck within a deadly string,
And so from beam of lofty house did hing.

But we, quite contrary, sitting still in supine idleness and ignorance, neglecting and never regarding that which concerneth ourselves, go to search into the genealogy and pedigrees of others; and we can tell readily that our neighbours' grandfather was no better than a base and servile Syrian; that his nurse came out of barbarous Thracia; that such an one is in debt, and oweth three talents, and is behindhand besides and in arrearages for non-payment of interest for the use thereof.

Inquisitive also we are in such matters as these: From whence came such a man's wife? what it was that such a one and such a one spake when they were alone together in an odd comer? Socrates was clean of another quality; he would go up and down inquiring and casting about what were the reasons wherewith Pythagoras persuaded men to his opinion. Aristippus likewise, at the solemnity of the Olympian games, falling into the company of Ischomachus, asked of him, what were the persuasions that Socrates used to young folk, whereby they became so affectionate unto him; and after he had received from him some small seeds (as it were) and a few samples of those reasons and arguments, he was so moved and passionate therewith, that presently his body fell away, he looked pale, poor and lean, until he having sailed to Athens in this wonderful thirst and ardent heat, had drunk his fill at the fountain and wellhead itself, known the man, heard his discourses and learned his philosophy; the sum and effect whereof was this: That a man should first know his own maladies, and then the means to be cured and delivered of them. But some there be who of all things cannot abide to see their own life, as being unto them the most unpleasant sight of all others; neither love they to bend and turn their reason as a light to their own selves: but their mind being full of all sorts of evil, fearing and ready to quake for to behold what things are within, leapeth forth (as one would say) out of doors, and goeth wandering to and fro, searching into the deeds and words of other men, and by this means feedeth and fatteth (as it were) her own malicious naughtiness. For like as a hen many times, having meat enough within house set before her, loveth to go into some comer, and there keepeth a-pecking and scraping of the ground,

To find perhaps one seely barley corn
As she was wont on dunghill heretoforn;

even so these busy polypragmons, passing by those ordinary speeches and matters which are exposed and open for every man; not regarding (I say) the reports and narrations which are free for each one to discourse of, and which neither any man hath to do, to forbid and warn them for to ask and inquire of, nor will be displeased if peradventure he should be demanded and asked the question of them, go up and down in the meantime to gather and learn all the secret and hidden evils of every house. Certes, a pretty answer it was of an Egyptian, and pertinent to the purpose, who when one asked him what it was that he carried covered all over, and so enwrapped within a cloth: Marry (quoth he), covered it is even for this cause, that thou shouldest not know what it is: And thou likewise, that art so busy, why dost thou intermeddle in that which is concealed? Be sure that if there were no evil therein, kept close it should not be.

And verily, it is not the manner and custom for anybody to enter boldly into the house of another man, without knocking at the door; for which purpose we use porters in these days; whereas in old time there were rings and hammers which served the turn, and by rapping at the gates, gave warning to those within, to the end that no stranger might meet the mistress at unawares in the hall or middes of the house; or come suddenly upon a virgin or young damosel her daughter, and find her out of her chamber; or take some of the servants a-beating, or the wenches and chamber-maids chiding and scolding aloud: whereas a busy fellow loveth alife to step secretly into a house, for to see and hear such disorders; and you shall never know him willingly to come and see an honest house and well governed (though one should call and pray him never so fair), but ready he is to discover and set abroad in the view of the whole world such things; for which we use locks, keys, bolts, bars, portals and gate-houses. Those winds (saith Ariston) are we most troubled and offended with which drive open our cloaks and garments that cover us, or blow and whisk them over our heads: but busy polypragmons doth lay abroad and display not the cloaks of their neighbours nor their coats; but discovereth their walls, setteth wide open their doors, and like a wind, pierceth, creepeth and entereth so far as to the tender-bodied and soft-skinned maiden, searching and inquiring in every bacchanal, in all dancings, wakes and night feasts, for some matter to raise slanders of her. And as one Cleon was noted by an old comical poet upon the stage:

Whose hands were both in Ætolie.
But heart and mind in Clopidie;

Even so the spirit of a curious and busy person is at one time in the stately palaces of rich and mighty men, in the little houses of mean and poor folk, in kings' courts, and in the bed-chambers of new-wedded wives; it is inquisitive in all matters, searching as well the affairs of strangers and travellers, as negotiations of lords and rulers, and otherwhile not without danger of his own person. For much like as if a man upon a kind of wanton curiosity will needs be tasting of aconite or libard-bane, to know (forsooth) the quality of it, cometh by a mischief and dieth of it before he can know anything thereof; so they that love to be prying into the faults of great persons, many times overthrow themselves before they come to any knowledge. For such as cannot be content with the abundant rays and radiant beams of the sun which are spread so clear over all things, but will needs strive and force themselves impudently to look full upon the circle of his body, and audaciously will presume and venture to pierce his brightness and enter into the very minds of his inward light, commonly dazzle their eyes and become stark blind. And therefore well and properly answered Philippides, the writer of comedies, upon a time when King Lysimachus spake thus unto him; What wouldest thou have me to impart unto thee of my goods, Philippides? What it pleaseth your majesty (quoth he), so it be nothing of your secrets. For to say a truth, the most pleasant and beautiful things simply, which belong to the estate of kings, do shew without, and are exposed to the view and sight of every man; to wit, their sumptuous feasts, their wealth and riches, their magnificent port and pomp in public places, their bountiful favours, and liberal gifts: But is there anything secret and hidden within. Take heed, I advise thee, how thou approach and come near, beware (I say) that thou do not stir and meddle therein.

The joy and mirth of a prince in prosperity cannot be concealed; he cannot laugh when he is disposed to play and be merry but it is seen; neither when he mindeth and doth prepare to shew some gracious favour or to be bountiful unto any is his purpose hidden; but mark what thing he keepeth close and secret, the same is terrible, heavy, stem, unpleasant, yea, ministering no access nor cause of laughter: namely, the treasure-house (as it were) of some rancour and festered anger; a deep design or project of revenge; jealousy of his wife, some suspicion of his own son; or diffidence and distrust in some of his minions, favourites and friends. Fly from this black cloud that gathereth so thick; for whensoever that which is now hidden shall break forth, thou shalt see what cracks of thunder and flashes of lightning will ensue thereupon.

But what be the means to avoid it? Marry (even as I said before), to turn and to withdraw thy curiosity another way; and principally to set thy mind upon matters that are more honest and delectable: Advise thyself and consider curiously upon the creatures in heaven, in earth, in the air, and in the sea. Art thou delighted in the contemplation of great or small things? if thou take pleasure to behold the greater, busy thyself about the sun; seek where he goeth down, and from when he riseth? Search into the cause of the mutations in the moon, why it should so change and alter as it doth, like a man or woman? what the reason is that she loseth so conspicuous a light, and how it cometh to pass that she recovereth it again?

How is it, when she hath been out of sight
That fresh she seems and doth appear with light?
First young and fair whiles that she is but new
Till round and full we see her lovely hew:
No sooner is her beauty at this height
But fade she doth anon, who was so bright,
And by degrees she doth decrease and wane
Until at length she comes to naught again.

And these truly are the secrets of nature, neither is she offended and displeased with those who can find them out. Distrustest thou thyself to attain unto these great things? then search into smaller matters, to wit, what might the reason be that among trees and other plants, some be always fresh and green, why they flourish at all times, and be clad in their gay clothes, shewing their riches in every season of the year; why others again be one while like unto them in this their pride and glory; but afterward you shall have them again like unto an ill husband in his house; namely, laying out all at once, and spending their whole wealth and substance at one time, until they be poor, naked, and beggarly for it. Also what is the cause that some bring forth their fruit long-wise, others cornered, and others round or circular? But peradventure thou hast no great mind to busy thyself and meddle in these matters, because there is no hurt nor danger at all in them.

Now if there be no remedy, but that curiosity should ever apply itself to search into evil things after the manner of some venomous serpent, which loveth to feed, to live and converse in pestilent woods, let us lead and direct it to the reading of histories, and present unto it abundance and store of all wicked acts, lewd and sinful deeds. There shall curiosity find the ruins of men, the wasting and consuming of their state, the spoil of wives and other women, the deceitful trains of servants to beguile their masters, the calumniations and slanderous surmises raised by friends, poisoning casts, envy, jealousy, shipwreck and overthrow of houses, calamities and utter undoing of princes and great rulers: Satisfy thyself herewith to the full, and take thy pleasure therein as much as thou wilt; never shalt thou trouble or grieve any of thy friends and acquaintance in so doing. But it should seem that curiosity delighteth not in such naughty things that be very old and long since done; but in those which be fresh, fire new, hot and lately committed, as joying more to behold new tragedies. As for comedies and matters of mirth, she is not greatly desirous to be acquainted with such. And therefore, if a man do make report of a marriage, discourse of a solemn sacrifice, or of a goodly shew or pomp that was set forth, the curious busybody (whom we speak of) will take small regard thereto and hear it but coldly and negligently. He will say that the most part of all this he heard already by others, and bid him who relateth such narrations to pass them over or be brief, and cut off many circumstances. Marry, if one that sits by him chance to set tale on end, and begin to tell him there was a maiden defloured, or a wife abused in adultery: if he recount of some process of law or action commenced, of discord and variance between two brethren; you shall see him then not to yawn and gape as though he had list to sleep; you shall not perceive him to nod; he will make no excuse at all that his leisure will not serve to hear out the tale,

But bids say on, and tell us more:
And close he holds his ear therefore.

So that this sentence,

How sooner much are ill news understood
And heard by men (alas) than tidings good!

is well and truly verified of these curious polypragmons. For like as cupping glasses, boxes, and ventoses draw the worst matter out of the flesh; even so, the ears of curious and busy folk are willing to receive and admit the most lewd and naughtiest speeches that are: or rather, to speak more properly, as towns and cities have certain cursed and unlucky gates, at which they send out malefactors to execution, carry and throw forth their dung, ordure, filthiness, and cleansings whatsoever, but never cometh in or goeth out that way anything that pure is and holy; semblably, the ears of these curious intermeddlers be of the same nature: for there entereth and passeth into them nothing that is honest, civil and lovely; but the bruit and rumours of cruel murders have access unto them, and there make abroad, bringing therewith wicked, abominable, profane and cursed reports: and as one said:

The only bird that in my house doth ever chant and sing,
Both night and day, is doleful moan, much sorrow and wailing.

So this is the muse, siren and mermaid alone that busy folk have; neither is there anything that they hearken to more willingly: for curiosity is an itching desire to hear secrets and hidden matters: and well you wot that no man will lightly conceal any good thing that he hath; considering that many times we make semblance of good parts that be not in us. And therefore the busy intermeddler who is so desirous to know and hear of evils, is subject to that which the Greeks call ὄπιχαιρεσκακία, a vice, cousin-german or sister rather to envy and eye-biting.

Forasmuch as envy is nothing else but the grief for another man's good: and the foresaid ὄπιχαιρεσκακία the joy for his harm: and verily both these infirmities proceed from an untoward root, even another untamed vice and savage disposition, to wit, malignity or malice. And this we know well, that so irksome and odious it is to every man for to bewray and reveal the secrets, evils and vices which he hath, that many men have chosen to die rather than to discover and open unto physicians any of their hidden maladies, which they carry about them. Now suppose that Heraclitus or Erosistratus, the physicians; nay, Æsculapius himself, whiles he was a mortal man, should come to an house furnished with drugs, medicines and instruments requisite for the cure of diseases, and ask whether any man there had a fistula in ano, that is, an hollow and hidden ulcer within his fundament? Or if she be a woman, whether she have a cankerous sore within her matrice (albeit in this art such inquisitive curiosity is a special means, making for the good and the health of the sick): each one, I suppose, would be ready to hunt and chase away from the house such a physician, who, unsent for, and before any need required, came upon his own accord and motion in a bravery to inquire and learn other folks' maladies.

What shall we say then to these busy meddlers, who inquire of another the selfsame infirmities and worse too? Not of any mind at all to cure and heal the same, but only to detect and set them abroad; In which respect they are by good right the most odious persons in the world. For we hardly can abide publicans, customers, and toll-gatherers, but are mightily offended with them, not when they exact of us and cause us to pay toll for any commodities or wares that are openly brought in; but when they keep a ferreting and searching for such things as be hidden, and meddle with the wares and carriages of other men: notwithstanding that law granteth and public authority alloweth them so to do; yea, and if they do it not, they sustain loss and damage themselves. But contrariwise, these curious fellows let their own business alone, and pass not which end go forward, caring not to hinder themselves, whiles they be intentive to the affairs of other men. Seldom go they into the country, for that they cannot endure the quietness and still silence of the wild and solitary fields. But if haply after long time they make a start thither, they cast an eye to their neighbours' vines, rather than to their own; they inquire how many beeves or oxen of his died? or what quantity of wine soured under his hand? and no sooner are they full of these news, but into the city they trudge and make haste again. As for the good farmer and painful husbandman indeed, he is not very willing to give ear unto those news, which without his hearkening after come from the city of the own accord, and are brought unto him, for his saying is:

My ditcher will anon both tell and talk
Upon what points concluded was the peace,
For now the knave about such news doth walk,
And busy he, to listen doth not cease.

But in truth, these busybodies, avoiding country life and husbandry, as a vain trade and foolish occupation, a cold manner of living, which bringeth forth no great and tragical matter, intrude and thrust themselves into the high courts of justice, the tribunal seats, the market-place and public pulpits where speeches be made unto the people, great assemblies, and the most frequented quarter of the haven where the ships ride at anchor, what: No news? saith one of them. How now? Were you not this morning at the market or in the common place? What then: How think you, is not the city mightily changed and transformed within these three hours? Now if it chance that some one or other make an overture, and have something to say as touching those points, down he alights on foot from his horse, he embraceth the man, kisseth him, and there stands attending and giving ear unto him. But say that the party whom he thus encountereth and meeteth upon the way, tell him that he hath no news to report: What sayst thou? (will he infer again and that in displeasure and discontentment): Were not thou in the market-place of late? Didst not thou pass by the prince's court? Hadst thou no talk or conference at all with those that came out of Italy? In regard of such, therefore, as these, I hold well with the magistrates of the city Locri, and commend a law of theirs: That if any citizen had been abroad in the country, and upon his return home demanded what news? he should have a fine set on his head. For like as cooks pray for nothing but good store of fatlings to kill for the kitchen, and fishmongers plenty of fishes; even so curious and busy people wish for a world of troubles and a number of affairs, great news, alterations and changes of state: to the end that they might evermore be provided of gain, to chase and hunt after, yea, and to kill.

Well and wisely, therefore, did the law-giver of the Thurians, when he gave order and forbade expressly, That no citizen should be taxed, noted by name, or scoffed at upon the stage in any comedy, save only adulterers and these busy persons. For surely adultery may be compared well to a kind of curiosity, searching into the pleasures of another: seeking (I say) and inquiring into those matters which are kept secret, and concealed from the view of the whole world. And as for curiosity, it seemeth to be a resolution or looseness, like a palsy or corruption, a detection of secrets and laying them naked: For it is an ordinary thing with those who be inquisitive and desirous of many news for to be blabs also of their tongues, and to be prattling abroad; which is the reason that Pythagoras enjoined young men five years' silence, which he called echemychia, abstinence from all speech, or holding of their tongue.

Moreover, it cannot otherwise be chosen but that foul and cursed language also should accompany curiosity; for look what thing soever busybodies hear willingly, the same they love to tell and blurt out as quickly; and such things as with desire and care they gather from one, they utter to another with joy: Whereupon it cometh to pass that over and above other inconveniences which this vice ministereth unto them that are given to it, an impediment it is to their own appetite. For as they desire to know much, so every man observeth them, is beware of them, and endeavoureth to conceal all from them. Neither are they willing to do anything in their sight, nor delighted to speak aught in their hearing, but if there be any question in hand to be debated, or business to be considered and consulted of, all men are content to put off the conclusion and resolution unto another time; namely, until the curious and busy person be out of the way. And say, that whiles men are in sad and secret conference, or about some serious business, there chance one of these busybodies to come in place, presently all is hushed, and everything is removed aside and hidden, no otherwise than folk are wont to set out of the way victuals where a cat doth haunt, or when they see her ready to run by; insomuch as many times those things which other men may both hear and see safely, the same may not be done or said before them only.

Therefore also it followeth by good consequence, that a busy and curious person is commonly so far out of credit that no man is willing to trust him for anything; in such sort that we commit our letters missive and sign manual sooner to our servants and mere strangers than to our friends and familiars, if we perceive them given to this humour of much meddling. But that worthy knight Bellerophontes was so far from this, that he would not break open those letters which he carried, though they were written against himself, but forbare to touch the king's epistle, no less than he abstained from the queen his wife, even by one and the same virtue of continence. For surely, curiosity is a kind of incontinency, as well as is adultery; and this moreover it hath besides, that joined there is with it much folly and extreme want of wit: For were it not a part (think you) of exceeding blockish senselessness, yea, and madness in the highest degree, to pass by so many women that be common, and everywhere to be had; and then to make means with great cost and expense, to some one kept under lock and key, and besides sumptuous: notwithstanding it fall out many times that such an one is as ill-favoured as she is foul? Semblably, and even the same do our curious folk: they omit and cast behind them many fair and goodly sights to behold, many excellent lectures worth the hearing, many disputations, discourses, honest exercises and pastimes; but in other men's letters they keep a puddering, they open and read them, they stand like eaves-droppers under their neighbours' walls, hearkening what is done or said within, they are ready to intrude themselves to listen what whispering there is between servants of the house; what secret talk there is among silly women when they be in some odd corner, and, as many times they are by this means not free from danger, so always they meet with shame and infamy.

And therefore very expedient it were for such curious folk, if they would shift off and put by this vice of theirs, eftsoons to call to mind (as much as they can) what they have either known or heard by such inquisition: for if (as Simonides was wont to say) that when he came (after some time between) to open his desks and coffers, he found one which was appointed for gifts and rewards always full, the other ordained for thanks and the graces void and empty: so, a man after a good time past, set open the store-house of curiosity, and look into it what is therein, and see it top full of many unprofitable, vain and unpleasant things; peradventure the very outward sight and face thereof will discontent and offend him, appearing in every respect so loveless and toyish as it is. Go to then: if one should set in hand to turn over leaf by leaf the books of ancient writers, and when he hath picked forth and gathered out the worst, make one volume of all together, to wit, of those headless and unperfect verses of Homer, which haply begin with a short syllable, and therefore be called ἀκέφαλοι: or of the solecisms and incongruities which be found in tragedies: or of the un-decent and intemperate speeches which Archilochus framed against women, whereby he defamed and shamed himself: were he not (I pray you) worthy of this tragical curse:

A foul ill take thee, thou lewd wretch.
That lovest to collect
The faults of mortal men now dead.
The living to infect.

But to let these maledictions alone, certes, this treasuring and scoring up by him of other men's errors and misdeeds, is both unseemly, and also unprofitable: much like unto that city which Philip built of purpose, and peopled it with the most wicked, graceless and incorrigible persons that were in his time, calling it Poneropolis when he had so done.

And therefore these curious meddlers in collecting and gathering together on all sides the errors, imperfections, defaults, and solecisms (as I may so say) not of verses or poems, but of other men's lives, make of their memory a most unpleasant archive or register, and uncivil record, which they ever carry about them. And like as at Rome, some there be who never cast eye toward any fine pictures, or goodly statues, no, nor so much as make any account to cheapen beautiful boys and fair wenches which there stand to be sold, but rather go up and down the market where monsters in nature are to be bought, seeking and learning out where be any that want legs, whose arms and elbows turn the contrary way like unto cats; or who have three eyes apiece in their heads, or be headed like unto the ostrich: taking pleasure (I say) to see if there be born

A mongrel mixt of divers sorts,
False births, unkind or strange aborts.

But if a man should bring them to see such sights as these ordinarily, the very thing itself would soon give them enough, yea and breed a loathing in them of such ugly monsters; even so it fareth with those who busy themselves and meddle in searching narrowly into the imperfections of other men's lives, the reproaches of their stocks and kindred, the faults, errors, and troubles that have happened in other houses; if they call to mind what like defects they have found and known beforetime, they shall soon find that their former observations have done them small pleasure, or wrought them as little profit.

But the greatest means to divert this vicious passion is use and custom; namely, if we begin a great way off and long before to exercise and acquaint ourselves in a kind of continency in this behalf, and so learn to temper and rule ourselves; for surely use it was and custom that caused this vice to get such an head, increasing daily by little and little, and growing from worse to worse: But how and after what manner we should be inured to this purpose we shall see and understand as we treat of exercise withal.

First and foremost, therefore, begin we will at the smallest and most slender things, and which most quickly may be effected. For what matter of difficulty is it for a man in the way as he travelleth, not to amuse and busy his head in reading epitaphs or inscriptions of sepulchres? or what pain is it for us as we walk along the galleries, to pass over with our eyes the writings upon the walls; supposing thus much secretly within ourselves, as a maxim or general rule: That there is no goodness, no pleasure, nor profit at all in such writings: for there you may read, That some one doth remember another, and make mention of him by way of hearty commendations in good part; or such an one is the best friend that I have, and many other such-like mottoes are there to be seen and read, full of toys and vanities, which at first seem not to do any hurt if one read them, but in truth, secretly they do much harm, in that they breed in us a custom and desire to seek after needless and impertinent matters. For like as hunters suffer not their hounds to range out of order, nor to follow every scent, but keep them up and hold them in by their collars, reserving by that means their smelling pure and neat altogether for their proper work, to the end that they should be more eager and hot to trace the footing of their game, and as the poet saith:

With scent most quick of nostrils after kind,
The tracks of beast so wild, in chase to find;

even so, we ought to cut off these excursions and foolish trains that curious folk make to hear and see everything; to keep them short (I say) and turn them another way to the seeing and hearing only of that which is good and profitable. Also, as we observe in eagles and lions, that whiles they go upon the ground they draw their talons and claws inward, for fear lest they should dull the sharp edge and wear the points thereof; so considering that curiosity hath a certain quick conceit and fine edge (as it were), apt to apprehend and know many things, let us take heed that we do not employ and blunt the same in the worst and vilest of all others.

Secondly, we are to accustom ourselves as we pass by another man's door not to look in, nor to cast our eyes to anything whatsoever that there is: for that the eye is one of the hands that curiosity useth. But let us always have in readiness and think upon the apothegm of Xenocrates, who was wont to say that it skilled not, but was all one, whether we set our feet or eyes within the house of another man. For it is neither meet and just, nor an honest and pleasant sight, according to the old verse:

My friend or stranger, whatever you be,
You shall within all things deformed see.

And what be those for the most part which are seen in houses? dishes, trenchers and such-like utensils and small vessels lying on the bare ground, or one upon another disorderly: the wenches set and doing just nothing: and lightly a man shall not find ordinarily ought of importance or delight. Now the very cast of the eye upon such things doth therewith turn away the mind; the intentive looking thereupon is unseemly, and the using thereof stark naught. Diogenes verily upon a time seeing Dioxippus, when he entered in his triumphant chariot into the city for winning the best prize at the Olympian games, how as he rode he could not chuse but set his eye upon a certain fair damosel, who was in place to behold this pomp and solemn entrance of his, but evermore his eye followed her, whether she were before or behind him: Behold (quoth he) our victorious and triumphant champion, how a young wench hath him sure enough by the neck, and doth writhe him which way she list! Semblably, see you not how these curious folk have their necks bended aside at every foolish sight, and how they turn about with each vanity that they hear and see, after once they have gotten an habit or custom to look every way and to carry a rolling eye in their heads? But in mine opinion it is not meet that our senses should gad and wander abroad, like a wild and untaught girl, but when reason hath sent it forth to some business; after it hath been there employed and done the errand about which it was set, to return speedily again unto her mistress the soul, and make report how she hath sped and what she hath done? and then afterwards to stay at home decently like a modest waiting-maiden, giving attendance upon reason, and ready always at her command. But now happeneth that which Sophocles saith:

The headstrong jades that will no bit abide,
Hate him perforce who should them rein and guide.

The senses having not met with good instructions (as I said before), nor been trained to right ways, run before reason upon their own accord, and draw with them many times the understanding, and send it headlong after such things as are not seemly and decent. And therefore false is that which is commonly reported of Democritus the philosopher: namely, that willingly he dimmed and quenched (as it were) his own sight, by fixing his eyes fast upon a fiery and ardent mirror, to take the reverberation of the light from thence, to the end that they should not disturb the mind by calling out eftsoons the inward intelligence, but suffer it to keep house within, and to be employed in objects intellectual, as if the windows that regard the street and highway were shut up. Howbeit most true it is, that those who for the most part occupy their understanding have least use of their senses: which is the reason that in old time they both builded the temples of the Muses, that is to say, houses ordained for students, which they named Musæa, as far as they could from cities and great towns: and also called the night Euphrone, as one would say, a friend to sage advice and counsel; as supposing that quiet rest, repose and stillness from all disturbance make very much for contemplation, and invention of those things that we study and seek for.

Moreover, no harder matter is it nor of greater difficulty than the rest, when in the open market-place or common hall, men are at high words, reproaching and reviling one another, not to approach and come near unto them. Also, if there be any great concourse and running of people together upon some occasion, not to stir at all but sit still, or if thou art not able to contain and rule thyself, to rise up and go thy ways. For surely gain thou shalt no good at all by intermeddling with such busy and troublesome persons; but contrariwise, much fruit mayst thou reap by turning away such curiosity, in repressing the same and constraining it by use and custom to obey reason.

Having made this good entrance and beginning, to proceed now unto farther and stronger exercise, it were very good, whensoever there is any play exhibited upon the stage in a frequent theatre, where there is assembled a great audience to hear and see some worthy matter for to pass by it, and to put back thy friends who solicit thee to go thither with them, for to see either one dance excellent well, or to act a comedy; nor so much as to turn back when thou hearest some great shout and outcry, either from out of the race or the grand-cirque, where the horse-running is held for the prize. For like as Socrates gave counsel to forbear those meats which provoke men to eat when they are not hungry, and those drinks which incite folk to drink when they have no thirst; even so, we ought to avoid and beware how we either see or hear anything whatsoever, which may either draw or hold us thereto, when there is no need at all thereof. The noble Prince Cyrus would not so much as see fair Lady Panthea, and when Araspes, one of his courtiers and minions, made report unto him that she was a woman of incomparable beauty, and therefore worthy to be looked on: Nay, rather (quoth he) for that cause I ought to forbear the sight of her; for if by your persuasion I should yield to go and see her, it may peradventure fall out so that she herself might tempt and induce me again to repair unto her; even then haply when I shall not have such leisure, yea, and sit by her and keep her company, neglecting in the meantime the weighty affairs of the state. In like manner Alexander the Great would not come within the sight of King Darius his wife, notwithstanding that she was reported unto him for to be a most gallant and beautiful lady: Her mother, an ancient dame and elderly matron, he did not stick to visit, but the young gentlewoman her daughter (fresh, fair and young) he could not be brought so much as once to see. As for us, we can cast a wanton eye secretly into the coaches and horse-litters of wives and women as they ride, we can look out of our windows, and hang with our bodies half forth, to take the full view of them as they pass by: and all this while we think that we commit no fault, suffering our curious eye and wandering mind to slide and run to everything.

Moreover, it is meet and expedient for the exercise of justice, otherwhiles to omit that which well and justly might be done; to the end that by that means a man may acquaint himself to keep far off from doing or taking anything unjustly. Like as it maketh much for temperance and chastity, to abstain otherwhiles from the use of a man's own wife, that thereby he might be never moved to lust after the wife of his neighbour; taking this course likewise against curiosity, strive and endeavour sometimes to make semblance as though thou didst neither hear nor see those things that properly concern thyself: And if a man come and bring thee a tale of matters concerning thine own household, let it pass and put it over, yea, and those words which seem to have been spoken as touching thine own person, cast them behind and give no ear thereto. For default of this discretion, it was the inquisitive curiosity of King Œdipus which entangled and enwrapped him in exceeding great calamities and miseries: for when he would needs know who himself was, as if he had been not a Corinthian but a stranger, and would needs go therefore to the oracle for to be resolved, he met with Laius his own father by the way, whom he slew, and so espoused his own mother, by whose means he came to be King of Thebes: and even then, when he seemed to be a most happy man, he could not so stay, but proceeded further to inquire concerning himself, notwithstanding his wife did what she possibly could to dissuade him from it; but the more earnest she was with him that way, the more instant was he with an old man who was privy to all, using all means to enforce him for to bewray that secret: at length, when the thing itself was so pregnant that it brought him into farther suspicion, and withal when the said old man cried out in this manner:

Alas, how am I at the point perforce
To utter that which will cause remorse?

the king, surprised still with his humour of curiosity, notwithstanding he was vexed at the very heart, answered:

And I likewise for my part am as near
To hear as much, but yet I must it hear.

So bitter-sweet is that itching-smart humour of curiosity, like unto an ulcer or sore, which the more it is rubbed and scratched, the more it bleedeth and bloodieth itself. Howbeit he that is delivered from this disease, and besides of nature mild and gentle, so long as he is ignorant and knoweth not any evil accident, may thus say:

O blessed saint, when evils are past and gone,
How sage and wise art thou, oblivion.

And therefore we must by little and little accustom ourselves to this, that when there be any letters brought unto us, we do not open them presently and in great haste, as many do, who if their hands be not quick enough to do the feat, set their teeth to, and gnaw in sunder the threads that sewed them up fast. Also, if there be a messenger coming toward us from a place with any tidings, that we run not to meet him, nor so much as once rise and stir for the matter; and if a friend come unto thee saying, I have some news to tell you of: Yea, marry (must you say again), but I had rather that you brought me something indeed that were profitable, fruitful and commodious. I remember upon a time when I declaimed and read a lecture at Rome, that orator Rustius, whom afterwards Domitian put to death for envy that he bare to his glory, happened to be there to hear me: Now in the midst of my lecture there came into the place a soldier with letters from the emperor, which he delivered to Rustius aforesaid, whereupon there was great silence in the school, and I myself made some pause, whiles he might read the letter, but he would not read it then, nor so much as break it open before I had made an end of my discourse, and dismissed the auditory: for which all the company there present highly praised and admired the gravity of the man.

Now if one do feed and nourish all that he can (be it but in lawful and allowable things) this vein and humour of curiosity, so as thereby it becometh in the end mighty and violent, it will not be an easy matter to restrain and hold it in when it shall break out and run on end to such things as be unlawful and forbidden, by reason that it is so used already to intermeddle and be doing. But such men as these break open and unseal letters (as I said), intrude themselves into the secret counsels of their friends; they will needs discover and see those sacred mysteries which it is not lawful for to see; in place whereunto there is no lawful access they love to be walking; inquire they do into the secret deeds and words of kings and princes; and notwithstanding there be nothing in the world that causeth tyrants, who must of necessity know all, so odious as this kind of people, who be called their ears (promoters, I mean, and spies), who hear all and bring all unto their ears. The first that ever had about him these otacoustes (as a man would say, princes' ears) was Darius the younger; a prince distrusting himself, suspecting also and fearing all men. As for those which were called prosagogidæ, that is to say, courries, spies and informers, the Dionysii, tyrants of Sicily, intermingled such among the Syracusans: whereupon, when the state was altered, those were the first that the Syracusans apprehended and massacred. Also those whom we call sycophants are of the confraternity, house and lineage of these curious persons, save only this difference there is, that sycophants inquire what evil any man hath either designed or committed; whereas our polypragmons hearken after and discover the very calamities and misadventures of their neighbours, which happen even against their will and purpose: and when they have so done, set them abroad to the view of the whole world.

Furthermore, it is said that the name aliterius came up first by occasion of this over-much meddling, called curiosity. For when there was (by all likelihood) a great famine at Athens, they that had corn kept it in and would not bring it abroad to the market, but privily and in the night ground the same into meal within their houses: Now these fellows, named aliterii, would go up and down closely hearkening where the quern or mill went, and thereupon took the said name. Semblably, as it is reported, the name of sycophants arose upon the like occasion: for when there was a law made, forbidding that any figs should be carried forth out of the land, such promoters as bewrayed the delinquents and gave information against those that conveyed figs away, were also thereupon called sycophants. To conclude, therefore, it were not unprofitable for these curious polypragmons (of whom we have discoursed all this while) to know thus much; That they might be ashamed in themselves to be noted for manners and profession to be like unto those who are accounted the most odious and hateful persons in the world.