OF UNSEEMLY AND NAUGHTY BASHFULNESS
THE SUMMARY
[Although it be needless to stand curiously upon the concatenation and coherence of these matters handled by Plutarch, how they be knit and linked together, considering that he penned these discourses of his at sundry times; and both they who have reduced them into one volume, and those also who have translated them out of Greek into other languages, have not all followed one order: yet I think verily that this present treatise, as concerning Naughty Bashfulness, is fitly joined next to the former, as touching the repose and tranquillity of the spirit. For one of the greatest shaking cracks that our soul can receive in her tranquillity is when she secretly and by stealth may be lifted from her seat for to drive a man to those things which may trouble him immediately, and much more afterwards. Now this evil bashfulness hath this vicious and dangerous quality, to know how to seduce and draw us by fair semblant, and nevertheless to trouble and confound after a strange fashion the contentment of our spirits, as appeareth plainly in this little book, which deserveth to be well perused and considered by all sorts of people. Now after he hath shewed what this evil shamefastness is, he declareth that it is no less pernicious and hurtful than impudency; adding, moreover, that we ought to take good heed, lest in avoiding it we fall into contrary extremities, as they do who are envious, shameless, obstinate, idle and dissolute. Then he proceedeth to teach us that the first and principal preservative against this poison is, to hold it for to be most dangerous and deadly, which he doth verify and prove by notable examples. Which done, he describeth particularly and from point to point, the incommodities, perils, and misfortunes that come by naughty bashfulness, applying thereto good and proper remedies, giving withal many sage and wise counsels drawn out of philosophy, tending to this scope and mark; that neither the regard of our friends, kinsfolk, and familiars, nor yet the respect of anything else besides, ought to draw from our thought, our mouth, or hands, anything contrary to the duty of an honest man: which both for the present and also all the rest of our life may leave in our soul the cicatrice or scar of repentance, sorrow, and heaviness. In conclusion, to the end that we should not commit those deeds in haste which afterwards we may repent at leisure; he sheweth that we ought to have before our eyes the hurts and inconveniences caused before by evil bashfulness, that the consideration thereof might keep us from falling into fresh and new faults.]
Among those plants which the earth bringeth forth, some there are which not only by their own nature be wild and savage, and withal bearing no fruit at all; but (that which worse is) in their growth do hurt unto good seeds and fruitful plants: and yet skilful gardeners and husbandmen judge them to be arguments and signs, not of bad ground, but rather of a kind and fat soil; semblably the passions and affections of the mind simply and in themselves are not good, howbeit they spring as buds and flowers from a towardly nature, and such as gently can yield itself to be wrought, framed, and brought into order by reason.
In this kind I may range that which the Greeks call ή Δυσωπία, which is as much to say, as a foolish and rustical shamefastness; no evil sign in itself, howbeit the cause and occasion of evil and naughtiness. For they that be given to bash and shame over-much and when they should not, commit many times the same faults that they do who are shameless and impudent: here only is the difference, that they, when they trespass and do amiss, are displeased with themselves, and grieve for the matter; whereas these take delight and pleasure therein: for he that is graceless and past shame hath no sense or feeling of grief when he hath committed any foul or dishonest act; contrariwise, whosoever be apt to bash and be ashamed quickly are soon moved and troubled anon, even at those things which seem only dishonest, although they be not indeed.
Now, lest the equivocation of the word might breed any doubt, I mean by dysopia, immoderate bashfulness, whereby one blusheth for shame exceedingly and for everything, whereupon such an one is called in Greek dysopetus, for that his visage and countenance together with his mind changeth, falleth and is cast down: for like as κατήφεια in Greek is defined to be a sad heaviness, which causeth a down-look; even so, that shame and dismayedness which maketh us that we dare not look a man in the face as we should and when we ought, they call ή Δυσωπία. And hereupon it was that the great orator Demosthenes said of an impudent fellow that he had in his eyes not κοράς but πορνάς, i.e., harlots, playing prettily upon the ambiguity of the word κορη, which signifieth both the round apple in the eyes, and also a maiden or virgin: but contrariwise the over-bashful person (whom we speak of) sheweth in his countenance a mind too soft, delicate and effeminate, and yet he flattereth himself therein, and calleth that fault (wherein the impudent person surpasseth him) shamefastness. Now Cato was wont to say that he loved to see young folk rather to blush than to look pale; as having good reason to acquaint and teach youth to dread shame and reproach more than blame and reproof; yea, and suspicion or obloquy rather than peril or danger.
Howbeit, we must abridge and cut off the excess and overmuch, which is in such timidity and fear of reproach; for that oftentimes it cometh to pass in some, who dreading no less to hear ill and be accused than to be chastised or punished; for false hearts are frighted from doing their duty, and in no wise can abide to have an hard word spoken of them. But as we are not to neglect these that are so tender, nor ought to feed them in their feebleness of heart; so again, we must not praise their disposition who are stiff and inflexible: such as the poet describeth when he saith:
Who fearless is, and basheth not
All men fast to behold;
In whom appears the dogged force
Of Anaxarchus bold:
but we ought to compound a good mixture and temperate medley of both extremities, which may take away this excessive obstinacy which is impudence, and that immoderate modesty which is mere childishness and imbecility. True it is that the cure of these two maladies is difficult; neither can this excess both in the one and the other be cut off without danger. For like as the skilful husbandman when he would rid the ground of some wild bushes and fruitless plants, he layeth at them mainly with has grubbing hook or mattock, until he have fetched them up by the root; or else sets fire unto them and so bumeth them; but when he comes to prune or cut a vine, an apple-tree, or an olive, he carrieth his hand lightly for fear of wounding any of the sound wood, in fetching off the superfluous and rank branches, and so kill the heart thereof; even so the philosopher, intending to pluck out of the mind of a young man either envy, an unkind and savage plant, which hardly or unneth at all may be made gentle and brought to any good use; or the unseasonable and excessive greediness of gathering good, or dissolute and disordinate lust; he never feareth at all in the cutting thereof, to draw blood, to press and pierce hard to the bottom, yea, and to make a large wound and deep scar. But when he setteth to the keen edge of remonstrance and speech, to the tender and delicate part of the soul, for to cut away that which is excessive or overmuch, to wit, wherein is seated this unmeasurable and sleepish bashfulness, he hath a great care and regard, lest ere he be aware he cut away therewith that ingenuous and honest shamefastness that is so good and commendable. For we see that even nurses themselves, when they think to wipe away the filth of their little infants, and to make them clean; if they rub anything hard, otherwhiles fetch off the skin withal, make the flesh raw and put them to pain.
And therefore we must take heed, that in seeking by all means to do out this excessive bashfulness utterly in young people we make them not brazen-faced, such as care not what is said unto them, and blush thereat no more than a blackdog, and in one word, standing stiff in anything that they do; but rather we ought to do as they who demolish and pull down the dwelling-houses that be near unto the temples of the gods; who for fear of touching anything that is holy or sacred, suffer those ends of the edifices and buildings to stand still which are next and joined close thereto; yea, and those they underprop and stay up, that they should not fall down of themselves; even so (I say) beware and fear we must, whiles we be tempering about this immoderate shamefacedness for to remove it, that we do not draw away with it grace and modesty, gentleness and debonairity, which be adjacents and lie close unto it; under which qualities lieth lurking and sticketh close to, the foresaid naughty bashfulness, flattering him that is possessed therewith, as if he were full of humanity, courtesy, civility and common sense; not opinionative, severe, inflexible and untractable: which is the reason that the Stoic philosophers, when they dispute of this matter, have distinguished by several names this aptness to blush or overmuch bashfulness from modesty and shamefacedness indeed: for fear lest the equivocation and ambiguity of one common word might give some occasion and vantage to the vicious passion itself to do some hurt. As for us, they must give us leave to use the terms without calumniation, or rather permit us to distinguish according to Homer, when he saith:
Shame is a thing that doth mickle harm, and profiteth as much;
neither without good cause is it, that in the former place he putteth down the harm and discommodity thereof: for surely it is not profitable but by the means of reason, which cutteth off that which is superfluous, and leaveth a mean behind.
To come then unto the remedies thereof; it behoveth him first and foremost, who is given to blushing at every small matter, to believe and be persuaded that he is possessed with such an hurtful passion (now there is nothing hurtful which is good and honest): neither ought he to take pleasure and delight when he shall be tickled in the ear with praises and commendations, when he shall hear himself called gentle, jolly and courteous, instead of grave, magnanimous and just; neither get him do as Pegasus the horse in Euripides, who
When mount his back Bellerophontes should,
With trembling stoop'd more than his own self would;
that is to say, give place and yield after a base manner to the demands and requests of every man; or object himself to their will and pleasure, for fear (forsooth) lest one should say of him, Lo, what a hard man is this! See how inexorable he is.
It is reported of Bocchorus, a king of Egypt, that being rough, tell and austere, the goddess Isis sent the serpent called Aspis for to wind and wreath about his head, and so to cast a shadow over him from above, to the end that he might be put in mind to judge aright: but this excessive shamefastness which always overspreadeth and covereth them who are not manly but flint-hearted and effeminate, not suffering them once to dare, to deny, or gainsay anything, surely, would avert and withdraw judges from doing justice, close up their mouths, that in counsels and consultations should deliver their opinion frankly; yea, and cause them both to say and do many things inconsiderately against their mind, which otherwhiles they would not. For look, whosoever is most unreasonable and importunate, he will ever tyrannise and domineer over such an one, forcing by his impudency the bashfulness of the other: by which means it cometh to pass that this excessive shame, like unto a low piece of soft ground which is ready to receive all the water that comes, and apt to be overflowed and drowned, having no power to withstand and repulse any encounter, nor say a word to the contrary whatsoever is proposed, yieldeth access to the lewdest designs, acts and passions that be. An evil guardian and keeper of childhood and young age is this excessive bashfulness, a Brutus well said, who was of this mind, that neither he nor she could well and honestly pass the flower of their fresh youth, who had not the heart and face to refuse and deny anything; even so likewise a bad governess it is of the bride-bed and women's chamber, according to that which she said in Sophocles to the adulterer who repented of the fact:
Thy flattering words have me seduced,
And so persuaded, I am abused.
It such sort as this bashfulness, over and besides that it is vicious and faulty itself, spoileth and marreth clean the intemperate and incontinent person, by making no resistance to his appetites and demands, but letting all lie unfortified, unbarred and unlocked, yielding easy access and entrance to those that will make assault and give the attempt, who may by great gifts and large offers catch and compass the wickedest natures that be: but surely by persuasions and inductions, and by the means withal of this excessive bashfulness, they oftentimes conquer and get the mastery even of such as are of honest and gentle disposition.
Here I pass by the detriments and damages that this bashfulness hath been the cause of in many matters, and that of profit and commodity: namely, how many men, having not the heart to say nay, have put forth and lent their money even to those whose credit they distrust; have been sureties for such as otherwise they would have been loth and unwilling to engage themselves for, who can approve and commend this golden sentence (written upon the temple of Apollo), Be surety thou mayst, but make account then to pay: howbeit, they have not the power to do themselves good by that warning when they come to deal in the world. And how many have come unto their end and died by the means of this foolish quality, it were hard to reckon. For Creon in Euripides, when he spake thus unto Medea:
For me, madame, it were much better now
By flat denial your mind to discontent.
Than having once thus yielded unto you
Sigh afterwards full sore, and ay repent,
gave a very good lesson for others to follow; but himself overcome at length through his foolish bashfulness, granting one day longer of delay at her request, overthrew his own state and his whole house. Some there were also, who doubting and suspecting that they were laid for to be bloodily murdered, or made away by poison, yet upon a foolish modesty not refusing to go into the place of danger, came to their death and were soon destroyed. Thus died Dion; who, notwithstanding he knew well enough that Callippus laid wait for him to take away his life, yet (forsooth) abashed he was to distrust his friend and host, and so to stand upon his guard. Thus was Antipater, the son of Cassander, massacred; who having first invited Demetrius to supper, was bidden the morrow after to his house likewise; and for that he was abashed to mistrust Demetrius, who the day before had trusted him, refused not to go, but after supper he was murdered for his labour. Moreover, when Polysperchon had undertaken and promised unto Cassander for the sum of one hundred talents to kill Hercules (a base son of King Alexander by Lady Barsine), he sent and requested the said Hercules to sup with him in his lodging, the young gentleman had no liking at all to such a bidding, but mistrusting and fearing his courtesy, alleged for his excuse that he was not well at ease: whereupon Polysperchon came himself in person unto him, and in this manner began to persuade: Above all things, my good child (quoth he), study and endeavour to imitate the humanity and sociable nature of your noble father, unless haply you have me in jealousy and suspicion as if I went about to compass your death. The youth was abashed to hear him say 30, and went with him; well, supper was no sooner ended but they made an end of the young gentleman also, and strangled him outright: so that it is no ridiculous and foolish advertisement (as some let not to say), but a wise and sage advice of Hesiodus, when he saith:
Thy friend and lover to supper do invite,
Thy foe leave out, for he will thee requite.
Be not in any wise bashful and ashamed to refuse his offer whom thou knowest to hate thee: but never leave out and reject him once who seemeth to put his trust and confidence in thee: for if thou do invite, thou shalt be invited again; and if thou be bidden to a supper and go, thou canst not choose but bid again; if thou abandon once thy distrust and diffidence, which is the guard of thy safety, and so mar that good tincture and temperature by a foolish shame that thou hast, when thou darest lot refuse.
Seeing then that this infirmity and malady of the mind is the cause of many inconveniences, assay we must to chase it away with all the might we have by exercise, beginning at the first like as men do in other exercises, with things that are not very difficult, nor such as a man may boldly have the face to deny: as for example, if at a dinner one chance to drink unto thee, when thou hast drunk sufficiently already, be not abashed to refuse for to pledge him, neither force thyself, but take the cup at his hand and set it down again on the board; again, there is another perchance that amidst his cups challengeth thee to hazard or to play at dice; be not ashamed to say him nay, neither fear thou although thou receive a flout and scoff at his hands for denial: but rather do as Xenophanes did, when one
Lasus, the son of Hermiones, called him coward because he would not play at dice with him: I confess (quoth he) I am a very dastard in those things that be lewd and naught, and I dare do nothing at all; moreover, say thou fall into the hands of a prattling and talkative busybody, who catcheth hold on thee, hangeth upon thee and will not let thee go? be not sheepish and bashful; but interrupt and cut his tale short, shake him off, I say, but go thou forward and make an end of thy business whereabout thou wentest: for such refusals, such repulses, shifts, and evasions in small matters, for which men cannot greatly complain of us, exercising us not to blush and be ashamed when there is no cause, do inure and frame us well beforehand unto other occasions of greater importance.
And here, in this place, it were not amiss to call unto remembrance a speech of Demosthenes: for when the Athenians, being solicited and moved to send aid unto Harpalus, were so forward in the action that they had put themselves in arms against King Alexander, all on a sudden they discovered upon their own coasts Philoxenus, the lieutenant-general of the king's forces, and chief admiral of his armada at sea: now when the people were so astonied upon this unexpected occurrence, that they had not a word to say for very fear: What will these men do (quoth Demosthenes) when they shall see the sun, who are so afraid that they dare not look against a little lamp; even so I say to thee that art given much to blush and be abashed: What wilt thou be able to do in weighty affairs, namely, when thou shalt be encountered by a king; or if the body of some people or state be earnest with thee to obtain ought at thy hand that is unreasonable? when thou hast not the heart to refuse for to pledge a familiar friend if he chance to drink unto thee and offer thee a cup of wine? or if thou canst not find means to escape and wind thyself out of the company of a babbling busybody that hath fastened and taken hold of thee, but suffer such a vain prating fellow as this to walk and lead thee at his pleasure up and down, having not so much power as to say thus unto him: I will see you again hereafter at some other time, now I have no leisure to talk with you.
Over and besides, the exercise and use of breaking yourselves of this bashfulness in praising others for small and light matters, will not be unprofitable unto you; as for example: Say that when you are at a feast of your friends, the harper or minstrel do either play or sing out of tune; or haply an actor of a comedy, dearly hired for a good piece of money, by his ill grace in acting mar the play and disgrace the author himself, Menander, and yet nevertheless, the vulgar sort do applaud, clap their hands, and highly commend and admire him for his deed: in mine advice it would be no great pain or difficulty for thee to give him the hearing with patience and silence, without praising him after a servile and flattering manner, otherwise than you think it meet and reason: for if in such things as these you be not master of yourself, how will you be able to hold when some dear friend of yours shall read unto you either some foolish rhyme or bad poesy that himself hath composed? if he shall shew unto you some oration of his own foolish and ridiculous penning? you will fall a-praising of him, will you? you will keep a-clapping of your hands with other flattering jacks? I would not else. And if you do so, how can you reprove him when he shall commit some gross fault in greater matters? how shall you be able to admonish him, if he chance to forget himself in the administration of some magistracy or in his carriage in wedlock, or in politic government? And verily, for mine own part, I do not greatly allow and like of that answer of Pericles, who being requested by a friend to bear false witness in his behalf, and to bind the same with an oath, whereby he should be forsworn: I am your friend (quoth he) as far as the altar; as if he should have said: Saving my conscience and duty to the gods: for surely he was come too near already unto him. But he who hath accustomed himself long before neither to praise against his own mind one who hath made an oration, nor to applaud unto him who hath sung, nor to laugh heartily at him who came out with some stale or poor jest which had no grace; he will (I trow) never suffer his friend and familiar to proceed so far as to demand such a request of him, or once be so bold as to move him (who before had refused in smaller trifles to satisfy his desire) in this manner: Be perjured for me; bear false witness for my sake; or pronounce an unjust sentence for the love of me.
After the same manner we ought to be prepared and provided beforehand against those that be instant to borrow money of us, namely, if we have been used to deny them in matters that neither be of great moment nor hard to be refused. There was one upon a time, who being of this mind, that there was nothing so honest as to crave and receive, begged of Archelaus, the king of Macedonia (as he sate at supper), the cup of gold whereout he drunk himself; the king called unto his page that waited at his trencher, and commanded him to give the said cup unto Euripides, who sat at the board; and withal, casting his eye wistly upon the party who craved it: As for you, sir (quoth he), worthy you are for your asking to go without; but Euripides deserveth to have, though he do not crave. A worthy speech, importing thus much, that the judgment of reason ought to be the best master and guide to direct us in our gifts and free liberality, and not bashfulness and shame to deny.
But we, contrariwise, neglecting and despising many times those that be honest and modest persons, yea, our very familiar friends, who have need of our help, and seem to request the same, are ready to bestow our bounty upon such as incessantly importune us with their impudent craving, not for any affection that we have to pleasure them, but because we cannot find in our heart to say them nay. Thus did King Antigonus the elder to Bias, after he had been a long time an importunate beggar: Give this Bias (quoth he) a talent, for methinks he will have it perforce: and yet this Antigonus, of all princes and kings that ever were, had the best grace and most dexterity to put by and shift off such unreasonable beggars: for when a beggarly cynical philosopher craved once at his hands a drachm: It is not for a king (quoth he) to give a drachm: Why then (quoth the other again) give me a talent: Neither is it meet (quoth the king) for a cynic to receive a talent. Diogenes, as he walked otherwhiles along the Ceramicum (that is, a street in Athens, where stood erected the statues of worthy personages), would ask alms of those images; and when some marvelled at him therefore: I do it (quoth he) to learn how to take a repulse and denial. Semblably, we ought first to be trained in small matters, and to exercise ourselves in denying slight requests unto such as would seem to demand and have at our hands that which is not fit and requisite, to the end that we may not be to seek for an answer when we would deny them in matters of greater importance: for as Demosthenes was wont to say: He who hath spent and bestowed that which he had otherwise than he should, will never employ those things which he hath, not as he ought, if peradventure he should be furnished again therewith. And look how often we do fail, and be wanting in honest things, and yet abound in superfluities, it is a sign that we are in a great fault, and many ways shame groweth to us by that means.
Moreover, so it is, that this excessive bashfulness is not only a bad and undiscreet steward to lay out and to disperse our money, but also to dispose of our serious affairs and those of great consequence, wherein it will not admit the advice and counsel that reason giveth; for oftentimes it falleth out that when we be sick, we send not for the best and most expert physicians, in respect of some friend, whom we favour and reverence so, as we are loth to do otherwise than he would advise us: likewise we chuse for masters and teachers of our children, not those always who are best and meetest, but such as make suit and means unto us for to be entertained; yea, and many times, when we have a cause to be tried in the law, we chuse not always the most sufficient and expert advocates or barristers for our counsel to plead for us; but for to gratify a son of some familiar friend or kinsman of our own, we commit the cause to him for to practise and learn to plead in court to our great cost and loss.
To conclude, we may see many of those that make profession of philosophy, to wit, Epicureans, Stoics, and others, how they follow this or that sect, not upon their own judgment and election; but for that they were importuned by some of their kinsfolk or friends thereto, whom they were loth to deny. Come on, then, let us long before be exercised against such gross faults in vulgar, small and common occasions of this life; as, for example, let us break ourselves from using either a barber to trim us, or a painter[1] to draw our picture, for to satisfy the appetite of our foolish shamefacedness; from lodging also in some bad inn or hostelry where there is a better near at hand, because haply our host the good man of the house hath oftentimes saluted us kindly; but rather make we a custom of it (although there be but small difference and odds between one and another) always to chuse the better: and like as the Pythagoreans observed evermore precisely not to cross the right leg with the left, neither to take an odd number for an even, though otherwise all things else were equal and indifferent; even so are we to draw this into an ordinary practice, that when we celebrate any solemn sacrifice, or make a wedding dinner, or some great feast, we invite not him who is wont with reverence to give us the gentle greeting and good-morrow, or who seeing us a great way off useth to run unto us, rather than him whom we know to be an honest man and a well-willer of ours; for whosoever is thus inured and exercised long before shall be hardly caught and surprised; nay, rather he shall never be once assailed and set upon in weighty matters. And thus much may suffice as touching exercise and custom.
Moreover, to come unto other profitable instructions which we have gathered for this purpose, the principal in mine advice is this, which sheweth and teacheth us that all the passions and maladies of the mind be ordinarily accompanied with those inconveniences which we would seem to avoid by their means: as, for example, ambition and desire of honour hath commonly attending upon it dishonour; pain usually followeth the love of pleasures; labour and travail ensueth upon ease and delicacy; repulse, overthrows, and condemnations are the ends that ensue daily upon those that are given to be litigious, contentious, and desirous to cast, foil and conquer others; semblably it happeneth unto excessive bashfulness, which seeming to fly and shun the smoke of blame, casteth itself into the very fire and flame of infamy. For those who be abashed to gainsay and deny them, who importune them unreasonably, and will take no nay in things unjust, are constrained afterwards to bear both shame and blame at their hands who justly call them to their answer and accuse them worthily; and whiles they fear some light check or private rebuke, many times they are fain to incur and sustain open disgrace and reproach: for being abashed to deny a friend who craveth to borrow money, as being loth to say they have none, within a while after (with shame enough) they blush, when they shall be convinced to have had one; and having promised to assist and stand to some who have suit in law, by that means are forced to contend with others, and afterwards being ashamed thereof, are driven to hide their heads and fly out of the way. Also there be many whom this foolish modesty hath caused to enter into some disadvantageous promise as touching the marriage either of daughter or sister, and being entangled therewith have been constrained afterwards upon change of mind to break their word and fail in their promise; as for him who said in old time, that all the inhabitants of Asia served as slaves unto one man; for that they knew not how to pronounce one only negative syllable, oὐ, that is. No; he spake not in earnest but by way of bourd, and was disposed to jest: but surely these bashful persons may if they list without one word spoken, by knitting and bending their brows only, or nodding downward to the ground, avoid and escape many offices and absurd inconveniences, which oftentimes they do unwillingly and only upon importunity. For as Euripides said very well:
Wise men do know how things to take:
And of silence an answer to make.
And haply we have more cause to take that course with such as be senseless and unreasonable: for to those who be honest, sensible, and of more humanity, we need not fear to make excuse and satisfy them by word of mouth. And for this purpose it were not amiss to be furnished with many answers and notable apothegms of great and famous persons in times past; and to have them ready at hand to allege against such importunate and impudent fellows. Such was that saying of Phocion to Antipater: You cannot have me to be your friend and a flatterer too; likewise the answer which he made unto the Athenians, who were earnest with him to contribute and give somewhat toward the charges of solemnising a great feast, and withal applauded and clapped their hands: It were a shame (quoth he) that I should give anything over and above unto you, and not to pay that which I owe to him yonder, pointing therewith to Callicles the usurer: for as Thucydides said; It is no shame to confess and acknowledge poverty; but more shameful it is indeed not to avoid and eschew it. But he who by reason of a faint, feeble and delicate heart dare not for foolish shame answer thus unto one that demandeth to borrow money:
My friend, I have in house or purse
No silver white, for to disburse,
and then suffereth to pass out of his mouth a promise (as it were), an earnest penny or pawn of assurance:
Is tied by foot with fetters not of brass
Nor iron wrought; but shame, and cannot pass.
But Perseus, when he lent forth a sum of money to one of his familiar friends and acquaintance, went into the open market-place to pass the contract at the very bank or table of exchangers and usurers; being mindful of that rule and precept of the poet Hesiodus, which teacheth us in these words:
However thou laugh with brother more or less.
With him make no contract without witness.
Now when his friend marvelled hereat and said; How now, Perseus, so formally and according to law? Yea (quoth he), because I would receive my money again of you friendly, and not require it by course and suit of law. For many there be who at the first upon a kind of foolish modesty are abashed to call for assurance and security, but afterward be forced to proceed by order of law, and so make their friends their enemies. Again, Cato, sending commendatory letters unto Denys the Tyrant, in the behalf and favour of one Helicona Cyzicene, as of a kind, modest, and courteous person, subscribed in manner of a post-date under his letter thus: That which you read above, take it as written in the commendation of a man, that is to say, of a living creature by nature mutable.
Contrariwise, Xenocrates, although he were otherwise in his behaviour austere, yet being overcome and yielding to a kind of foolish modesty of his own, recommended in his letters unto Polysperchon a man of no worth or quality, as it proved afterwards by the sequel: Now when as that Macedonian lord bade the party welcome, and friendly gave him his hand, and withal used some words of course and compliment, demanding whether he had need of ought, and bidding him call for what he would; he made no more ado, but craved a whole talent of silver at his hands; which Polysperchon caused presently indeed to be weighed out unto him; but he dispatched his letters withal unto Xenocrates to this effect: That from thenceforth he should be more circumspect, and consider better whom he recommended unto him: and verily, herein only was the error of Xenocrates, for that he knew not the man for whom he wrote: but we oftentimes knowing well enough that they be lewd and naughty persons, yet are very forward with our commendatory letters; yea, and that which more is, our purse is open unto them; we are ready to put money into their hands, to our own hindrance and damage; not with any pleasure that we take, nor upon affection unto them, as they do who bestow their silver upon courtesans, pleasants, and flatterers to gratify them; but as displeased and discontented with their impudency, which overturneth our reason upside down, and forceth us to do against our own judgment, in such sort that if ever there were cause besides, we may by good reason say unto these bold and shameless beggars, that thus take vantage of our bashfulness:
I see that I must for your sake,
Lewd courses ever undertake;
namely, in bearing false witness, in pronouncing wrong judgment; in giving my voice at any election for an unworthy and unmeet person; or in putting my money into his hands, whom I know unsufficient, and who will never repay it. And therefore, of all passions this lewd and excessive modesty is that which is accompanied presently with repentance, and hath it not following afterwards as the rest: for at the very instant when we give away our money, we grieve; when we bear such witness, we blush; when we assist them and set to our helping hand, we incur infamy; and if we furnish them not with that which they require, we are convinced as though we were not able. And forasmuch as our weakness is such that we cannot deny them simply that which they would have, we undertake and promise many times unto those who do importune and lie upon us uncessantly, even those things that we are not able to compass and make good; as namely, our commendatory letters for to find favour in princes' courts; to be mediators for them unto great rulers and governors, and to talk with them about their causes; as being neither willing nor so hardy as thus to say; The king knoweth not us; he regardeth others more, and you were better go to such and such. After this manner, when Lysander had offended King Agesilaus and incurred his heavy displeasure, and yet was thought worthy to be chief in credit above all those that were about him, in regard of the great opinion and reputation that men had of him for his noble acts, he never bashed to repel and put back those suitors that came unto him, making excuse and bidding them to go unto others, and assay them, who were in greater credit with the king than himself. For it is no shame not to be able to effect all things, but for a man to be driven upon a foolish modesty to enterprise such matters as he is neither able to compass nor meet to manage, besides that it is shameful, I hold it also a right great corrosive to the heart.
But now to go unto another principle, we ought willingly and with a ready heart to do pleasure unto those that request at our hands such things as be meet and reasonable; not as forced thereto by a rustical fear of shame, but as yielding unto reason and equity. Contrariwise, if their demands be hurtful, absurd, and without all reason, we ought evermore to have the saying of Zeno in readiness, who meeting with a young man, one of his acquaintance, walking close under the town wall secretly as if he would not be seen, asked of him the cause of his being there, and understanding by him that it was because he would avoid one of his friends, who had been earnest with him to bear false witness in his behalf: What sayst thou (quoth Zeno), sot that thou art? Was thy friend so bold and shameless to require that of thee which is unreasonable, unjust and hurtful unto thee? And darest thou not stand against him in that which is just and honest? For whosoever he was that said:
A crooked wedge is fit to cleave
A knotted knurry tree.
It well beseems against lewd folk
With lewdness arm'd to be,
Now as touching those importunate and shameless persons who otherwise are but obscure, base and of no worth, it is of no great matter to resist them when they be troublesome unto us. And some there be who make no more ado but shift them off with laughter or a scoff: like as Theocritus served twain who would seem to borrow of him his rubber or currying-comb in the very bain; of which two, the one was a mere stranger unto him, the other he knew well enough for a notorious thief: I know not you (quoth he) to the one; and to the other, I know what you are well enough; and so he sent them both away with a mere frump. Lysimache, the priestess of Minerva in Athens, sumamed Polias, that is, the patroness of the city, when certain muleteers who brought sacrifices unto the temple called unto her for to pour them out drink freely: No (quoth she), my good friends, I may not do so, for fear you will make a custom of it.
Antigonus had under him in his retinue a young gentleman, whose father in times past had been a good warrior, and led a band or company of soldiers, but himself was a very coward and of no service, and when he sued unto him (in regard of his birth) to be advanced unto the place of his father, late deceased: Young man (quoth he), my manner is to recompense and honour the prowess and manhood of my soldiers, and not their good parentage. But if the party who assaileth our modesty be a noble man, of might and authority (and such kind of persons of all other will most hardly endure a repulse, and be put off with a denial or excuse, and namely, in the case of giving sentence or award in a matter of judgment, or in a voice at the election of magistrates), peradventure it may be thought neither easy nor necessary to do that which Cato sometimes did, being then but of young years, unto Catulus; now this Catulus was a man of exceeding great authority among the Romans, and for that time bear the censorship, who came unto Cato (then lord high treasurer of Rome that year) as a mediator and intercessor for one who had been condemned before by Cato in a round fine, pressing and importuning him so hard with earnest prayer and entreaty, that in the end Cato, seeing how urgent and unreasonable he was, and not able to endure him any longer, was forced to say thus unto him: You would think it a foul disgrace and shame for you, Catulus, censor as you are, since you will not receive an answer and be gone, if my serjeants and officers here should take you by the head and shoulders and send you away: with that, Catulus being abashed and ashamed, departed in great anger and discontentment.
But consider rather and see whether the answer of Agesilaus and that which Themistocles made, were not more modest and savoured of greater humanity: for Agesilaus, when his own father willed him to give sentence in a certain cause that was brought before him, against all right and directly contrary to the laws: Father (quoth he), yourself have taught me from my very childhood to obey the laws; I will be therefore obedient still to your good precepts, and pass no judgment against law. As for Themistocles, when as Simonides seemed to request of him somewhat which was unjust and unlawful: Neither were you, Simonides (quoth he), a good poet, if you should not keep time and number in your song, nor I a good magistrate if I should judge against the law. And yet (as Plato was wont to say) it is not for want of due proportion between the neck and body of the lute, that one city is at variance with another city, and friends fall out and be at difference, doing what mischief they can one to another, and suffering the like again; but for this rather, that they offend and fail in that which concerneth law and justice. Howbeit, you shall have some, who themselves observing the precise rules most exactly according to art in music, in grammatical orthography, and in the poetical quantity of syllables and measures of feet, can be in hand with others, and request them to neglect and forget that which they ought to do in the administration of government, in passing of judgments, and in their other actions.
And therefore, with such as these be, I would have you take this course which I will now tell you: Is there an advocate or rhetorician that doth importune you sitting as judge upon the bench? or is there an orator that troubleth you with an unreasonable suit as you sit in council? grant them both that which they request, upon condition that the one in the entry of his plea will commit a solecism or incongruity, and the other in the beginning of his narration come out with some barbarism: but it is all to nothing that they will never do so, it would be thought such a shame; and in very truth, we see that some of them are so fine eared that they cannot abide in a speech or sentence that two vowels should come together: again, Is he one of the nobility, or a man of honour and authority, that troubleth you with some unhonest suit? will him likewise for your sake to pass through the market-place hopping and dancing, making mows, and writhing his mouth; but if he deny so to do, then have you good occasion and fit opportunity to come upon him with this revie, and demand of him, whether of the twain be more dishonest, to make incongruity in speech, and to make mows, and set the mouth awry; or to break the laws, commit perjury, and beside all right, equity and conscience, to award and adjudge more unto the lewd and wicked than to good and honest persons?
Moreover, like as Nicostratus the Argive answered unto Archidamus, who solicited him with a good sum of money (promising him besides in marriage what lady he would himself chuse in all Lacedaemon) to betray and render up by treason the town Cromnum: I see well (quoth he), Archidamus, that you are not descended from the race of Hercules, for that he travelled through the world killing wicked persons whom he had vanquished, but your study is to make them wicked who are good and honest; even so we ought to say unto him, who would be thought a man of worth and good mark, and yet Cometh to press and force us to commit those deeds which are not befitting, that he doth that which beseemeth not his nobility or opinion of virtue.
Now if they be mean and base persons to account who shall thus tempt you, go this way to work with such: If he be a covetous miser, and one that loveth his money too well, see and try whether you can induce and persuade him by all importunity to credit you with a talent of silver upon your bare word, without schedule, obligation or specialty for his security; or if he be an ambitious and vain-glorious person, try if you can prevail with him so much as to give you the upper hand or higher seat in public place; or if he be one that desireth to bear rule and office, assay him whether he will give over his possibility that he hath to such a magistracy, especially when he is in the ready way to obtain it? Certes, we may well think it a very strange and absurd thing that such as they in their vices and passions should stand and continue so stiff, so resolute and so hard to be removed; and we who profess and would be reputed honest men, lovers of virtue, justice and equity, cannot be masters of ourselves, but suffer virtue to be subverted, and cast it at our heels. For if they who by their importunity urge our modesty, do it either for their own reputation or their authority, it were absurd and beside the purpose for us to augment the honour, credit and authority of another, and to dishonour, discredit and disgrace ourselves; like unto those who be in an ill name, and incur the obloquy of the world, who either in public and solemn games defraud those of the prizes and rewards who have achieved victory, or who at the election of magistrates, deprive those of their right of suffrages and voices to whom it doth belong, for to gratify others that deserve it not, thereby to procure to the one sort the honour of sitting in high places, and to the other the glory of wearing coronets, and so by doing pleasure unto others, falsify their own faith, defame themselves, and lose the opinion and reputation they had of honesty and good conscience. Now if we see that it is for his own lucre and gain that any one urge us beyond all reason to do a thing, how is it that we do not presently consider that it is absurd and without all sense to hazard and put to compromise (as it were) our own reputation and virtue for another man, to the end that the purse of some one (I know not who) should thereby be more weighty and heavy?
But certainly many there be unto whom such considerations as these are presented, and who are not ignorant that they tread aside and do amiss; much like to them who, being challenged to drink off great bowls full of wine, take pains to pledge them with much ado, even so long till their eyes be ready to start out of their heads, changing their countenance, and panting for want of wind, and all to pleasure those that put them to it. But surely this feebleness of mind and faint heart of theirs resembleth the weak constitution and temperature of the body, which cannot away either with scorching heat or chilling cold. For be they praised by those who set upon them thus impudently, they are ready to leap out of their skins for joy; and say they doubt for to be accused, checked, rebuked or suspected, if haply they deny, then they are ready to die for woe and fear.
But we ought to be well defended and fortified against the one and the other, that we yield neither to them that terrify us, nor to those that flatter us, Thucydides veiily supposing it impossible for one to be great or in high place and not envied, saith, That the man is well advised and led by good counsel who shooteth at the greatest and highest affairs, if he must be subject unto envy. For mine own part, thinking as I do, that it is no hard matter to escape envy, but to avoid all complaints and to keep ourselves from being molested by some one or other that converse with us and keep our company, a thing impossible: I suppose it good counsel for us, and the best thing we can do for our own safety, to incur rather the ill will and displeasure of lewd, importunate and unreasonable people, than of those who have just cause to blame and accuse us, if against all right and justice we satisfy their minds and be ready to do them service and pleasure: as for the praises and commendations which proceed from such lewd and shameless persons, being as they are in every respect counterfeit and sophistical, we ought to beware and take heed of; neither must we suffer ourselves as swine to be rubbed, scratched or tickled, and all the whiles stand still and gently, letting them do with us what they will, until they may with ease lay us all along, when we have once yielded to be so handled at their pleasure: for surely they that give ear to flatterers differ in no respect from those who set out their legs of purpose to be supplanted and to have their heels tripped up from under them; save only in this, that those are worse foiled and catch the more shameful fall, I mean as well such as remit punishment to naughty persons, because forsooth they love to be called merciful, mild, and gentle; as those on the contrary side, who being persuaded by such as praise them, do submit themselves to enmities and accusations needless, but yet perilous; as being borne in hand and made believe they were the only men, and such alone as stood invincible against all flattery, yea, and those whom they stick not to term their very mouths and voices; and therefore Bion likened them most aptly to vessels that had two ears, for that they might be carried so easily by the ears which way a man would: like as it is reported of one Alexinus, a sophister, who upon a time as he walked with others in the gallery Peripatos, spake all that naught was of Stilpo the Megarean: and when one of the company said unto him. What mean you by this, considering that of late and no longer since than the other day, he gave out of you all the good that may be? I wot well (quoth he), for he is a right honest gentleman, and the most courteous person in the world. Contrariwise Menedemus, when he heard that Alexinus had praised him many a time; But I (quoth he) do never speak well of Alexinus; and therefore a bad man he must needs be, that either praiseth a naughty person, or is dispraised of an honest man: So hard it was to turn or catch him by any such means as making use and practising that precept which Hercules Atistheneus taught his children, when he admonished and warned them that they should never con those thank who praised them: and this was nothing else but not to suffer a man's self to be overcome by foolish modesty, nor to flatter them again who praised him. For this may suffice in mine opinion which Pindarus answered upon a time to one who said unto him: That in every place and to all men he never ceased to commend him: Grand mercy (quoth he), and I will do this favour unto you again that you may be a true man of your word, and be thought to have spoken nothing but the truth.
To conclude, that which is good and expedient against all other affections and passions, they ought surely to remember who are easily overcome by this hurtful modesty, whensoever they, giving place soon to the violence of this passion, do commit a fault and tread awry against their mind: namely, to call to remembrance the marks and prints of remorse and repentance sticking fast in their mind, and to repeat eftsoons and keep the same a long time. For like as wayfaring men, after they have once stumbled upon a stone; or pilots at sea, when they have once split their ship upon a rock and suffered shipwreck, if they call those accidents to remembrance, for ever after do fear and take heed not only of the same, but of such-like; even so they that set before their eyes continually the dishonours and damages which they have received by this hurtful and excessive modesty, and represent the same to their mind once wounded and bitten with remorse and repentance, will in the like afterwards reclaim themselves, and not so easily another time be perverted and seduced out of the right way.
- ↑ γραφεῖ, Erasmus seemeth to read γναφεῖ, i.e., a fuller.