The Sailor's Wife's Policy, or, the Knowing Barber Taken in/The Sailor's Wife's Policy

THE SAILOR'S WIFE'S POLICY;
or, the
KNOWING BARBER TAKEN IN.

ALL you that love mirth if you'll listen a while,
My comical ditty will make you to smile,
'Tis concerning a Barber the truth you shall hear,
He wanted to dress a young sailor's wife's hair.

This am'rous Barber, as many do say,
When ever the Sailor was out of the way,
Would take opportunity loving and kind,
To get the young Sailor's Wife in the mind.

But she being artful, she knew what he meant,
For to tell her husband it was her intent;
The Sailor when hearing, he hearty reply'd,
My girl, that's the Barber, I'm well satisfy'd.

Tell him in the morning I'm going away,
On board of my vessel a week for to stay,
And if he's agreeable, you'll be the same,
Thus we'll bum the Barber, or else we're to blame.

As money he's worth, we'll have some if we can,
Or surely we'll shave him, as I am a man;
So a bargain make with him, my girl never fear,
No harm shall come to you as I am so near.

There's a public house you know over the way,
Where I'll watch your motions, observe what I say,
When the fit comes on him, shut the window down,
Then quickly I'll make the door to resound.

Next morning the Barber began as before,
Complimenting the Sailor's fair Wife at the door;
My husband she said, is gone on board for a week;
Why, thought the Barber, my mind I'll now speak.

With that to the Sailor's Wife he did say,
My jewel, if one night with you I may stay,
A guinea I'll give you, my dear in your hand,
And I'll ever after to you be a friend.

The guinea she took, and did seem to comply,
But he little thought that her husband was nigh;
Then she and the Barber up stairs did go,
Where his am'rous tricks he began for to shew.

But she to her husband the signal did give,
She went to the window, and down it did shove,
The Sailor then came, and knock'd at the door,
Said she, that's my husband again come on shore.

Good lake! said the Barber, where shall I hide!
Said she, in the closet, whate'er does betide;
Then down stairs she went, and her husband let in,
But think how the Barber he stood trembling.

The Sailor straightway to the closet he went,
And there stood Pilgarlick in sad discontent;
He cry'd out, good neighbour, your pardon I crave;
Says the Sailor, my boy, you thelaly shall have.

The Barber he said, now with all my own heart,
Five pounds I will give, set all malice a part,
Said the Sailor, no, twenty bright guineas I'll have,
Because with my wife you've been playing the knave.

Twenty guineas the sailor made him pay down,
For attempting a trespass on another man's ground,
When the money was paid, the Barber he swore,
He ne'er would be taken in so any more.