Lapsus Calami (Aug 1891)/The Street Organs Bill, 1891

Included in the "Rescued from the Waste Paper Basket" section of the third edition of Lapsus Calami, "The Street Organs Bill, 1891" was originally published in The Pall Mall Gazette, April 1891.

Grinder, who serenely grindest,
As thou groundest ages back,
Till thou ultimately findest
Legislators on thy track:

Grinder, there is one Jacoby,
There is Lubbock, prince of Barts,
Sternest of Professors: oh be-
Ware of his infernal arts.

Guyer Hunter backed it boldly,
Backed the Bart's oppressive bill:
So did he whose name is Staveley,
And whose other name is Hill.

If they pass their cruel measure,
If the House is true to them,
You must never give us pleasure,
Grinder, after 8 p.m.

When the dawn with rosy finger,
Dissipates the eastern gloom,
You and your machine must linger
Silent in your silent room.

Grinder, if you are not willing,
When invited, to desist,
You must pay your fortieth shilling,
Wretched instrumentalist!

Failing that,—a fate unkinder—
You must languish in a gaol
One laborious fortnight: grinder,
Pray, oh pray that they may fail.

This work was published before January 1, 1928, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.