THE
MARRIAGE of BELPHEGOR.
A NOVEL.
The ARGUMENT.
It is recorded in the old histories of Florence, that a certain devout person, who was held in great veneration for the sanctity of his life, being one day at prayers in his closet, had a vision, in which he saw numbers of Souls descending into hell: the much greater part of which complained it was owing to their wives that they were sent thither: at which, Minos, Æacus, Rhadamanthus, and the rest of the infernal Judges were not a little astonished. But though they looked upon it for some time only as a malicious slander raised upon married women; yet, as the complaint grew more and more frequent every day, they at last acquainted Pluto with it: upon which, he resolved to have the matter thoroughly discussed in his Privy Council, and, after mature deliberation, to take such measures as should seem most expedient, to discover whether there was any truth in the complaint, or whether it was a mere calumny. The Council therefore being assembled, Pluto harangued them in this manner.
"Although, right trusty and well-beloved, we hold our dominions by the decree of Heaven and irrevocable destiny; and therefore are accountable to no other power for our actions: nevertheless, as it is a point of wisdom even in the greatest potentates to rule according to law, and to take the opinion of able Counsellors, especially in matters of high concern; we are determined to be advised by you in what manner we ought to conduct ourselves in an affair, which otherwise perhaps may bring infamy and reproach upon ourselves and our Government. For though, indeed, the Souls of almost all married men which descend into these realms complain that it is owing to their wives; yet are we unwilling to be too hasty in giving credit to so strange a report, lest we should expose ourselves to censure, as either too merciful and indulgent in sparing offenders who justly deserve punishment, or too rigid and severe in condemning the innocent. For as one extreme argues weakness, and the other injustice, and we are equally desirous to avoid the scandal that may result from either (if we could hit upon any proper expedient) we have called you together to demand your advice and assistance in making due provision that our Government, which hitherto has been renowned throughout all ages for the Justice and impartiality of its decrees, may for ever enjoy the same unsported reputation."
The matter seemed of the utmost importance to the whole Council, and worthy of the maturest deliberation: but though they all agreed that it was absolutely necessary to sift out the truth, yet they differed in the means which ought to be taken for that purpose: some thought it would be the best way to send a Devil in human shape into this world, to inform himself personally of the truth or falsity of so common a report; others said it would be better, in their opinion, to send more than one, that so they might form a true judgment from their several accounts; a third party were of opinion they might spare themselves the trouble of sending any at all, by torturing the Souls of married men till they told the whole truth: the majority however agreeing in the first opinion, the rest acquiesced in it, and it was resolved accordingly to send some one particular Devil upon that errand: but as none of them appeared to be very fond of such an expedition, nor offered their service as volunteers, it was determined that the affair should be decided by lot; and the lot fell upon Belphegor, one of the Arch-devils, but once an Arch-angel and spirit of light before his fall from Heaven: Belphegor however did not much relish the employment that had fallen to his lot: but as it was the unanimous decree of Pluto and the whole Council, he submitted to the commands they laid upon him, and to take up with such appointments as they should think proper: which were, that he should have a hundred thousand ducats paid him down in ready money as soon as he entered upon his Commission, to introduce him into this world with a handsome equipage in the form of a man, and to enable him to marry such a wife as he pleased, with whom he was to live ten years: at the expiration of which term he was to return to Hell, to give Pluto a true account from his own experience of the happiness or unhappiness of a matrimonial life. It was likewise another condition annexed to his commission, that he should be subject, as long as he was a sojourner upon earth, to all the misery, distress, affliction, and passions that are the lot and inheritance of mortal man; such as sickness, and pain, and poverty, and exile, and imprisonment, and sorrow of all sorts, except he could find means to elude them by artifice.
Belphegor then having received the money and engaged to submit to these conditions, set out for the upper world with a train of devils in the disguise of Servants, and soon after his arrival upon earth made a magnificent entry into Florence (a city which he chose to live in above all others for the sake of improving his fortune) where he assumed the name of Don Roderigo of Castile, and took a very fine house in the suburbs of All Saints. But to conceal his real quality, he gave out that he left Spain when he was but a boy to make a voyage into the Levant, and having resided at Aleppo ever since, had acquired a considerable fortune there; but that he had now retired from business with a design to marry and settle in Italy, as a country which he had heard much celebrated for the humanity and politeness of the people, and thought he should like it better than any other in the world. Now Roderigo seemed a very handsome man about thirty years of age, and as he lived in great splendor and magnificence, the Florentines were soon convinced he must be exceeding rich: upon which account, several of the nobility, who had many daughters and but small estates, courted his alliance. After some time therefore he made choice of a most beautiful young lady, whose name was Honesta, the daughter of Amerigo Donati, who also had three other daughters and three sons, all grown up: but notwithstanding the Donati were one of the noblest and most honourable families in Florence, yet Amerigo having so many children, besides the dignity of his rank to support in a proper manner, was poor and could give his daughter little or no fortune. Roderigo however married the young Lady, and celebrated his nuptials in the most splendid and ostentatious manner, being subject to vanity and all other human passions by the conditions he had submitted to before he left the infernal regions. Soon after his wedding, he likewise entered into all the pleasures and follies of the age, and spent vast sums of money to make himself popular and much talked of: besides which, he grew so passionately fond of his wife, that he was almost distracted whenever she happened to be either indisposed or displeased at any thing. But Madam Honesta, besides the rest of her fortune, which consisted chiefly, if not altogether, in her beauty and the nobility of her blood, brought likewise such a portion of pride and insolence with her, that Roderigo, who was a competent judge (as he was well acquainted with both parties) thought she excelled Lucifer himself in those amiable qualities: for when she found he was so enamoured of her that he could make him jump over a straw if the pleased, she laid aside all manner of affection and regard, and would call him the most opprobrious and provoking names she could think of whenever he denied her any thing, how unreasonable soever it was to ask it; which kind of treatment at last made poor Roderigo almost weary of his life: nevertheless, the respect he had for her father, her brothers, and the rest of her relations, the consideration of his marriage vow, and above all, the tenderness he still had for her, made him resolve to bear all with patience, and to keep her in temper if possible. For this purpose, he not only spent immense sums to gratify her vanity with the richest cloaths that could be got for money, and to indulge her in every new fashion that came up in a city where fashions change as often as the wind; but gave handsome marriage-portions to all her Sisters, sent one of her brothers with a cargo of fine cloath into the Levant, another with Silks into France and Spain, and set up the third in a Goldsmith's Shop at Florence. Besides this, in the time of Carnival, and at the Festival of St. John, when all the nobility and rich Citizens made great feasts and entertainments for their friends, Madam Honesta took special care to see that her husband should exceed all others in luxury and profusion. Yet all these expenses, heavy as they were, he bore with patience to keep peace at home; nor would he ever have repined at them, if he could but have lived quietly in his own house, till all was spent. But vain were his endeavours; for such was her extravagance and insolent behaviour that brought him into many distresses and inconveniences, and they were so insupportable, that neither man-servant nor maid-servant could bear to stay in the house above two or three days at most: so that Roderigo was almost at his wits end, when he saw that not only his hired servants, but even the very devils themselves whom he had brought with him into this world in the shape of men, deserted him, and chose rather to return to hell, and endure any sort of torment there, than to live upon earth under the hatches of such a vixen.
In these comfortless circumstances, Roderigo having at last got almost to the bottom of his purse by the assistance of his good wife, began to feed himself with the hopes of having some returns from the cargoes he had sent into France, Spain, and the Levant: but as his credit was still good, he resolved to keep up to his rank and usual manner of living. For this purpose, he borrowed money of the merchants and bankers, and gave them notes and bonds for it: but as many of them were circulating round the city, this transaction was publicly known; and, to complete his ruin, when his credit was become low, he received intelligence by the same post that his wife's brother, whom he had sent into the Levant, having sold his cargo, had lost all the money at play; and also that the Ship in which the other brother was returning with a cargo of merchandize he had received in exchange for his own, had foundered at Sea, without having been insured, and that is brother-in-law was drowned. As soon therefore as this came to be publicly known, Roderigo's creditors met privately; but not daring to arrest him before his notes became payable, though they looked upon him as utterly ruined, determined to have him narrowly watched lest he should shew them a light pair of heels. Roderigo, on the other hand, seeing his affairs in so desperate a situation that there was no remedy left, and remembering the rigorous conditions of his commission, resolved to run away at all events; and mounting his horse early one morning, immediately fled out of the city, through the gate of Prato near which he lived; but as soon as his creditors heard he was gone off, they took the alarm, and having obtained leave from the Magistrates to seize him wherever he should be found, they not only sent bailiffs to pursue him, but rode after him themselves as fast as they could.
Roderigo had not got above a mile from the city when he perceived they were coming full cry after him, and seeing himself in great danger, resolved to leave the high road, and traverse the country to seek his fortune, if he should be happy enough to make his escape. But when he got into the fields, he found himself so entangled amongst the ditches and enclosures, that he was forced to quit his horse and take to his heels; and skulking about from one field to another, under the cover of the vines and reeds with which that country abounds, he at last arrived at the house of one Giovanni Matteo del Bricca, a farmer and tenant to Messer Giovanni del Bene, whom he found in the yard giving fodder to his cattle; and recommending himself to his protection, promised him a great reward, and that he would make him a rich man, if he would conceal him from his creditors, who were pursuing him in order to throw him into jail, where he might lie rotting all the days of his life if they should catch him: to gain credit to which promises he assured him he would give him such proof of his ability to perform them, that if he was not sufficiently convinced of it before they parted, he would freely give him leave to deliver him up into the hands of enemies.—Now this Matteo, though a peasant, was a sharp, sensible fellow; and has he thought he should be wanting to himself and his family if he lost so fair an opportunity of making his fortune, and could come to no harm if he did not succeed by charitably endeavouring to shelter a man in distress; after a short pause told Roderigo he would afford him protection: for which purpose he covered him up close in a heap of straw that lay before the barn door, and threw a parcel of brushwood and reeds over it, which he had brought out of the fields for fuel. Roderigo was scarcely concealed when his creditors arrived; but though they made a very strict enquiry after him, they could get nothing more out of Matteo than that he had neither seen nor heard of any such person: so that they soon went a way; and having searched for him all over the country for the space of two or three days to no purpose, they at last returned to Florence. Matteo, as soon as the storm was blown over, took his guest out of the straw and demanded the performance of his promise: upon which, Roderigo said he was truly sensible of the great obligations he lay under to him, and would certainly be as good as his word; and to convince him of his sincerity, he told him who he was, upon what errand he came into this world, and what sort of a wife he had been blessed with: adding that (as he designed to make him a rich man) whenever he heard of any woman in the neighbourhood that was possessed with a Devil, he might be assured that he was the Devil that possessed her, and would never quit her till his friend Matteo came to drive him away; which would give him an opportunity of making his own terms with her relations: after which promise, he immediately took his leave and went about his business.
Not many days after it happened that the daughter of Ambrogio Amadei, and wife of Bonito Tebalducci, citizens of Florence, was possessed with a Devil: upon which, her husband and parents had recourse to all the remedies that are generally made use of upon such occasions: and amongst the rest, they not only applied St. Zanobi's skull to her head, but wrapped her up in St. Gaulbert's cloke: at all which Roderigo laughed in his sleeve. Every body, however, was fully convinced that the woman was really possessed with a Devil, and that her distemper was not owing to vapours, or any whim of that sort: for she talked Latin, disputed in Philosophy, and discovered the private frailties and infirmities of several godly people: particularly those of a righteous Monk, who, amongst the rest of his peccadiloes, had kept a handsome girl above four years in his cell, under the disguise of a young lay-brother: all which things afforded matter of great surprize to every body that heard her. In the mean time her father Amadei was in great affliction, and having tried all remedies to no purpose, began to despair of a cure, when Matteo, luckily hearing of her case, came to wait upon him, and assured him he would dispossess his daughter if he would give him five hundred florins to buy a little bit of land at Perettola. These terms being readily accepted by her father, Matteo having in the first place caused two or three Masses to be sung, and gone through certain other devout ceremonies to give a good colour to the matter, put his mouth close to the Lady's ear and said in a low voice, "Roderigo, I am come to desire you will perform the promise you made me:" "That I will do most willingly, answered Roderigo; but this job will not be sufficient to make you so rich as I would have you; and therefore as soon as I go out of this woman I will enter into King Charles's daughter of Naples, and never leave her till you come to beat up my quarters: for this service you may make your own conditions, and when you have done your business there, pray give me no further trouble:" after which, he immediately quitted the Lady, to the great joy and astonishment of the whole city. Not long after, the above mentioned Princess was in the same condition; and though the King her father had recourse not only to all manner of physical remedies, but the assistance of the most pious and able Divines, it signified nothing but hearing what feats Matteo had done, he sent for him to Naples. Matteo now thinking his fortune made, joyfully obeyed the summons, and arriving in that city, soon drove the Devil entirely out of the Princess; for which the King made him a present of fifty thousand ducats: but before he took his leave of Matteo, he told him, that as he had honestly fulfilled his promise, he no longer thought himself under any obligation to him; and therefore hoped for his own sake he would trouble him no more: for if he did, he would be a greater enemy to him than ever he had been a friend. Matteo then returned to Florence, and flattered himself with the hopes of enjoying his riches in peace all the rest of his life, without any thoughts of ever offending his friend Roderigo. But it seems he reckoned without his host: for soon after, a daughter of Lewis VII. King of France was likewise possessed with a Devil; the news of which greatly disturbed Matteo, when he considered the King's authority on one hand, the threats of Roderigo on the other, and took it for granted that he should be applied to upon the reputation of his late success. The King of France finding all other means were of no service, and being informed of Matteo's abilities in matters of exorcism, first dispatched one of his Messengers to desire he would repair to his Court: but Matteo pretending to be dangerously ill and not able to travel so far, his Majesty sent to request the Signiory of Florence would force him to come. Being thus obliged to set out for Paris much against the grain, he represented to his Majesty upon his arrival at Court, that though indeed he had met with some success in ejecting Devils out of such as were possessed, he could not answer for doing the same in all cases, as some of them were so stubborn and contumacious that they neither regarded threats, nor charms, nor any kind of religious ceremonies: But that since it was his Majesty's pleasure, he would use his best endeavours to serve him; and hoped if he failed he would impute it to nothing but absolute inability. The king, however, in answer to this speech, told him in plain terms that since he had cured others, he was sure he could cure his daughter; and if he did not, he should certainly be hanged: at which Matteo fell into a fit of trembling, and was ready to sink into the earth. But collecting his spirits, he desired he might be introduced to the Princess; and approaching gently to her ear, recommended himself to Roderigo's mercy in the most humble terms, conjuring him to remember the services he had formerly done him, and consider how ungrateful it would be to abandon his old friend in such distress. You covetous rascal, said Roderigo, how dare you come near me any more after the caution I gave you when we parted last? Have you not been already well paid for the services you upbraid me with? Am I to help you out of every scrape you get into? Indeed, Sir, I shall convince you that I can be an enemy as well as a friend; for I will take care you shall be decently tucked up before I leave this place, Poor Matteo seeing himself thus left in the lurch, resolved to try some other method; and having desired the Princess might withdraw, told the King there were some Spirits, as he said before, of so obstinate and refractory a turn that there was no way of dealing with them, and that this was one of them: that however he had one expedient left, and if it succeeded, he hoped he should be entitled to his Majesty's favour: if not, he was at his mercy, and humbly implored him to spare a man who had been guilty of no crime: after which, he desired the King would be pleased to cause a very large Stage to be erected in the Church of Notre Dame, capable of holding all the Nobility and Clergy in the City, and to have it covered with cloth of gold: that he would likewise order an Altar to be set up in the middle of it, and condescend to come thither himself with all his Clergy and Nobles richly habited, and in royal procession, on the next Sunday morning: and lastly, that after a Solemn Mass had been celebrated, he would graciously be pleased to send for the Princess thither. He also desired there might be twenty persons at least placed on one side of the Church-yard with trumpets, drums, horns, hautboys, and all sorts of musical instruments, ready to strike up and advance towards the Stage when he threw up his hat into the air; all which, with some other secret remedies he was in possession of, he hoped would not fail to send the Devil a packing. Every thing then being in readiness on Sunday morning (as he had requested), the Stage full of the Clergy and Nobility, the Church-yard of common people, and Mass sung, the Princess was conducted thither by two Bishops and a magnificent train of Nobles. But when Roderigo saw such a multitude got together, and all the rest of the apparatus, he began to wonder what was the matter, and muttered to himself, "What the plague is this Scoundrel about? Does he think to fright me with a Mob and a parade of Bishops? Surely he must know I have seen all the pomp of Heaven, and the confusion of Hell, and am not to be scared out of my wits in this manner. But I will swinge the rogue for it." Matteo, however, drawing up to the Princess's ear, humbly besought him to quit her. "Quit her, said Rodrigo, this is a pleasant conceit indeed! Pray what is all this apparatus for? Dost think to elude my power and the King's resentment by these gim cracks? But I will surely have thee hanged, ungrateful wretch as thou art."—After repeated supplications on one side, and variety of hard names on the other, Matteo finding there was no more time to be lost, threw up his hat into the air: upon which, the musicians immediately struck up, the drums beat, the trumpets founded, the mob shouted, and advanced all together towards the Stage, to the great astonishment of Roderigo, who began to tremble like an aspin leaf, and softly said to Matteo, "What is the meaning of this?" "Alas, answered Matteo, seemingly much frighted, your wife is coming!"—No sooner did Roderigo hear the name of Wife but he lost all presence of mind, and without staying to reflect that what Matteo said could not possibly be true, he quitted the Princess in a moment and ran away as fast as his legs could carry him; chusing rather to go back again to Hell for ease, than to return to the thralldom of Matrimony, in which he had experienced such torment and so many heart-breaking sorrows.—In this manner Belphegor having luckily escaped from his wife, made what haste he could to the infernal Regions, to inform Pluto of what he had both seen and felt himself; and assure him he might depend upon the truth of what he had so often heard from the Souls of married men, but could not believe: and Matteo having thus outwitted the Devil, joyfully returned to his house at Perettola.