Bloomin'

by Wallace Irwin

Bloomin'

by Wallace Irwin

WHEN I was on me leave ashore
I lived in pretty Feldom,
And loved a gal named Daisy Moore,
And left her very seldom.
But when me optics lit upon
That maid o' my selection,
There came a bloke named “English John”
To rival me affection.

He had a most peculiar way
Of tellin' of his passion.
And used to give his love away
In this here foolish fashion:

“Ho D'isy Moore, ho D'isy Moore,
There isn't no mistakin'.
The fairest of our bloomin' race.
Whene'er I see yer bloomin' face
Me bloomin' 'eart is breakin'.”

Whene'er I called upon that maid
Friend John was always handy;
Whene'er I bought her lemonade
He bought her gum and candy.
A-buyin' flowers and things for her
Most sent me to the workh'us.
I took her to the the-ay-ter,
John took her to the circus.

And when I'd go to tell her
Me swift-increasin' passion,
Then up would speak that Cockney burr
In this here foolish fashion;

“Ho D'isy Moore, ho D'isy Moore,
Just see 'ow swell I've hacted!
Ho fairest of the bloomin' flowers
That bloom within the bloomin' bowers,
I'm bloomin' near distracted!”

Well, pretty soon me patience got
A little bit exhausted,
For Daisy smiled on John a lot
And I was gettin' frosted.
She liked his British ways so much
It really looked alarmin';
She loved his courtyus bows and such,
And thought his'manners charmin'.

So one dark night at John I jumped.
As mad as any tanner.
And his poetic fancy bumped
In this straightforward manner;

“O English John, O English John,
Ye'd better git a mile off—
If ye don't stop that bloomin' lot
Of bloomin' gush and bloomin' rot
I'll bust yer bloomin' tile off!”

So English John at once withdrew
From his enamoratter;
And me and Daisy closer grew,
Our hearts quite pitter-patter.
And when I ast 'er to be mine
She answered “Yes” so sweetly
That I called in the town divine
Who married us completely.

And when the weddin' ring was on
Her hand so soft and gentle.
There came a note from English John
As if quite accidental:'

“Ho D'isy Moore, ho D'isy Moore,
I'm feelin' bloomin' sappy—
Six bloomin' nights I 'aven't slept.
Six bloomin' nights I've bloomin' wept—
I 'opes ye're bloomin' 'appy!”