Cards spiritualized, or, The pack of cards transformed into a Bible, almanack, and prayer-book/Mr Dodd's Sermon on Malt

by John Dod

Mr Dodd's curious Sermon on MALT.

Mr Dodd lived near Cambridge, and had offended some of the Cambridge scholars, by preaching against drunkenness. As some of them were walking out one day, and seeing the good old gentleman at some distance, said one to the other, there’s Father Dodd, we'll make him preach a sermon; when he drew near they saluted him with your servant Father Dodd. Your's Gentlemen, replied Mr Dodd. We have a favour to beg of you; what is it replied Mr Dodd; say they, to preach us a sermon; he tells them appoint the time and place I will; said they, the time is the present, and the place is yon hollow tree (pointing to one in the field) and your text shall be MALT; that is an imposition, replied Mr Dodd; for there shall be consideration before preaching: but said they, if you will not preach we will make you So when Mr Dodd got into the tree, he addressed them in the following manner:

 

Dearly beloved,

LET me crave your serious attention, for I am a little man come at a short warning, to preach a brief sermon to a thin audience, in an unworthy pulpit. Now beloved my tex is MALT; which I cannot divide into sentences, because it contains none, nor yet into words, it being but one nor into syllables, for it is upon the whole but one monosyllable: I must therefore, and necessity obliges me, divide into letters, which I find in my text to be four only, viz M, A, L, T. M, my beloved, is Moral; A is Allegorical; L is Literal; T is Theological The Moral is well set to teach you drunkards good manners; therefore, M, my Masters; A, All of you L, Listen; T, to my Text. The Allegorical, that is when one thing is spoke of, and another thing meant. Now the thing spoken of is Malt; but the thing meant is the oil of Malt, or what is vulgarly called strong beer; which ye drunkards make, M, Meat; A, Apparel; L Liberty; T, Treasure The Literal is according to the Letter, M, Much; A, Ale; L, Little; T, Thrift. Much ale, little thrist The Theological is according to the effects it produceth; which I find in my text to be of two kinds: first in this world; secondly, in the world to come. First, in this world, the effects are, in some, M, Murder; in others, A, Adultery; in all, L, Looseness of Life; and, in many, T, Treason. Secondly, in the world to come, the effects are, in some, M, Misery; in others, A, Anguish; in some, L, Lamentation; and, in all, T, Torment.

Wherefore, my first use shall be exhortation, I say, M, my Masters; A, All of you; L, Leave off your, T, Tipling; or, secondly, by way of denunciation, I say, M, my Masters; A, All of you; L, Look for; T, Torment So much for this time on my text, only by way of conviction, take this: all drunkards are the annoyance of modesty, the trouble of civility, the pests of society, the spoil of wealth, the destruction of reason, the brewer’s agents, the alehouse’s benefactors, their wives’ sorrow, their children’s shame, the beggar’s companions the constable’s trouble, their neighbour’s laughing stock, walking swill-tubs, the devil’s vassals, pictures of beasts, and monsters of men.

Say well and do well, ends both with a letter,
Say well is good, but do well is better.

 

FINIS.