Excellent new song, called Willie Wastle/An excellent new song, called Willie Wastle

by Robert Burns (1759-1796)

Sic a Wife as Willie had.

WILLIE Wastle dwelt on Tweed,
The spot they ca’d it Linkumdodie,
Willie was a wabster gude,
Cou’d stown a clue wi’ ony body,
He had a wife was dour and din,
O Tinkler Madgie was her micher
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.

She has an e’e, she has but ane,
The cat has twa the very colour;
Five rusty teeth forbye a stump,
A clapper tongue wad deave a miller:
A whiskin beard about her mou,
Her nose and chin they threaten ither;
Sic a wife, &c.

She’s bow hough’d, she’s hem-shinn’d.
Ae limpin leg a hand breed shorter;
She’s twisted right, she’s twisted left,
To balance fair on ilka quarter;
She has a hump upon her breast,
The twin o’ that upon her shouther:
Sic a wife, &c.

Auld baudrons by the ingle sits,
An' wi her luse her face a-washin’;
But Willie’s wife is nae sae trig,
She dights her grunzic wi’ a hushion:
Her wallie nieves like midden-creels,
Her face wad syle the Logan-water;
Sie a wife as Willie had,
I wad na gie a button for her.