THE
KING
OF
FRANCE
HIS
CATECHISM.
Edinburgh, Printed in the Year 1703.
THE
King of FRANCE,
HIS
Catechiſm,
May it pleaſe Your moſt Chriſtian Majeſty
OUT of a due Conſideration ⟨of⟩ Things paſt, and to come; ⟨and⟩ that Your Majeſty's Honour and ⟨Fame⟩ may be made more intelligible to ⟨the⟩ Chriſtian World, I deſire (for ⟨Your⟩ advance of Glory ) that you will ⟨be⟩ pleas'd, Anſwer to me a few ⟨ſerious⟩ and neceſſary Queſtions, and to ⟨proceed⟩ in order——I firſt deſire ⟨to⟩ know whoſe Child you are?
Anſwer. Preſumptive Son and ⟨Heir⟩ to Lewis the Thirteenth; born in ⟨Sin⟩ and really begotten by Cardinal ⟨Mazarine⟩, on the Body of Ann of Auſtria⟨,⟩ a Child of Grace from my Nativity, ſuck'd in the Precepts of Old ⟨Richlieu⟩ with my Milk, and have follow'd ⟨his⟩ diſtructive Doctrine from my ⟨Youth⟩ upwards.
⟨Question.⟩ ⟨What⟩ (illegible text) ⟨your⟩ (illegible text) ⟨do⟩ when you came to the Crown?
Anſw. I began to exert my Native ⟨faculties⟩, of Pride, Avarice, and ⟨Ambition⟩; and took care to remove all ⟨obſtacles⟩ to my riſing Glory; I firſt ⟨ſpoke⟩ my Faith to the Hugonots, and rewarded their Fidelity with a ⟨barbarous⟩ Perſecution.
Queſt. Which are your Majeſty's ⟨Principal⟩ Virtues?
Anſ: To oppreſs my own Subjects, ⟨and⟩ threaten all my Neighbours, to ⟨diſturb⟩ all Europe with my unjuſt Wars, ⟨and⟩ increaſe my Dominions by a De(illegible text)igning Peace, to cover Univerſal Monarchy, as much as I did the ⟨Spaniſh⟩ Natherlands; to keep no Oath ⟨further⟩ than my own intereſt, and to ⟨be⟩ wholly Govern'd by the ſecret Councils of Madam Maintenon.
Q How does your Majeſty raiſe your Taxes.
A. By the Virtue and Force of Arbitrary Power, in which I have ſeveral Methods, to Recoin my Money, and take a Crown out of every Pound; to erect new Courts and Offices, and put the Places to Sale for great Sums, and ſecure the Property to my ſelf before they've got half their Purchaſe Money; to force from 'em what Aids I want, and Beggar my Subjects, to ſupport my own Ambition.
Q. What is your Majeſties principal Deſigns in view?
A. Chiefly to inflame the War in the North, in hopes to get ſome Partizan of my own elected King of Poland; to incite the Turks againſt the Emperor, to take off the burden of the War in Italy, to put the Duke of Bavaria upon the Ruine of his Country, ( as I have done his Brother) that I may under the pretence of getting again make ſome part of it my own, to get as good a Title to the Crown of Spain, as my Grandſon has, and to Govern as abſolute there as I do in the Low Coun-tries.
Q. What were your Majeſties Ends in the Peace of Reſwick
A. The ſame that I had hy Convoying home the Plate Fleet, (which I deſign'd to have kept, had I got it once into my Territories ) I knew of ⟨the⟩ King ⟨of⟩ Spain's Death ⟨to⟩ ⟨an⟩(illegible text), ⟨and⟩ work'd up the Peace at Reſwick, to get into quiet Poſieſſion of the Netherlands; I ſurrender'd up that part I had conquer'd, to obtain the whole; and keept my Dragoons a foot, to maintain my Title to it.
Q. Who made the King of Spain's Will¿ A. Old Portocarero, at my roper coſt and charge, and chiefly by my Direction; he ſold me his Country as Judas did our Saviour to the Jews, and to ſpeak Truth is e'en as good a Prieſt as he was an Apoſtle; the one was as fit for my purpoſe, as the other was for the Devils: I am now driving the ſame bargain with the Cardinal Primate in the North.
Q. Why do you ſpeak againſt the Man that has ſerv'd you?
A. O! ever while you live, we love the Treaſon. but hate the Traitor, he has berray'd his Country, won't ſtick to do as much by me; he has ſerv'd my turn, and now for Politic Reaſons, 'tis fit I ſhould prefer him.
Q. As how?
A. To the Reſentments of the Spaniſh Mob, inſinuate that is the occaſion of all all their Misfortunes; Then has he no way left but to follow Judas in all his Examples, chuſe a Tree, to eſcape a Gibbet, or by a draught of Italian Ratſbane, ſhare the ſame fate with his late Maſter, to whom he was at once, a Proufound Prieſt, a true Phyſician, and an expert Lawyer; ſubverted his Will, Poiſond his Body, and took no care at all for his Soul.
Q. How did your Majeſty acquire the Name of Lewis the Great
A. By Tyranny, and unjust Conqueſt, I ſeiz d upon thoſe Principalities that lay commodius with my own, and gave a reaſon for it by the Mouths (illegible text) laws (illegible text) Orange by the (illegible text)Lorrain out of his Country for his greater ſecurity: Thus widen'd my Dominions, and got the laſting Name of Lewis le Grand.
Q. What did your Majeſty deſign, when you drew down your Forces against Saſs Ghent?
A. To force the Dutch to a Neutaility, to their utter deſtruction, that when I have ſettled the Peace of Spain, I might have fallen on them with the greater Fury, and reduc'd them to their ancient Obedience, but the Cunning toads, ſmok'd my deſign, put their Country under Water, and ſhamm'd me of till they rais'd an Army.
Q. What has your Majeſty got by the war in Flanders?
-A. As little as I got by the Engliſſi and Dutch Fleets; the loſs of a whole Province, my Newfoundland Fleet, and my Men of War at Vigo, laid me under ſtrange apprehenſion; of Fear; however to conſole my Subjects, I gave out we had deſtroy'd Ten Engliſh Ships and Five Dutch; Landed all the Plate; Beat the Germans in Italy; and Sung Te Deum for it, as I at all other times when I was bear: And and to encreaſe their Bellef of it, I gave out I would have a ſwinging Fleet out next year, and Pepper the Engliſh for it, but the Devil abit a know where to have them. In ſhort, if I make ſuch another Summeas Wo kon't, adieu dear Flanders, and Spanish Weſt Indies.
Q. Which is the greateſt check to your Majeſties Ambition.
A. Thoſe Termagant Engliſh, that fought ſo like Devils at Liege and Vigo, Damn'd ſower Fellows, that ſwallow Gun Powder like Beef and Pudding, and Fight as they Eat, without Fear or Grace; Poor Chaterenault complain'd plaguely of their want of Ceremony. Then there's that Deviliſh Fellow Prince Eugene, was certainly begot by a clap of Thunder, born with a Sword in his Hand, and Rid upon a Cannon in ſtead of a Hobby Horſe; I dread his coming into Italy again, as much as I do a ⟨Defeat⟩ by the Engliſh and Dutch Fleets; and would ſooner bring the next Plate Fleet into Vigo; than hazard a Battle with him.
Q. Who gives this Terrible account of him?
A. Villeroy and Catinat; the one he drove out of Italy, and took the other out of his Winter Quarters, then my Grandſon Anjou ſends me word, he received little better Treatment from him at Luzzara, than his Brother Burgunday did from the Lubbuerly Dutch at Hutſt.
Q. Was not your Majeſty overſeen in your Politicks, when you Proclaim'd the Prince of Wales, and provock'd the Engliſh to declare War againſt you?
A, 'Twas a Sketch of my ancient Policy, but fail d plaguely in the Expectation: I ſent an Ambaſſador to excuſe it, but ſoon found my Error in the Arſwer they gave him: I have heartily Repented ſince, for I find the Engliſh the greateſt Thorn in my ſide, but I was willing to play all my pranks at once, and cut do the Devil in Miſchief if I could.
Q. Has not your Majeſty and the young Cambrian Gentleman a great many Friends in England?
A. Ay; ſuch as they be, Fellows with Monſtrous Tongues, and no Hearts, that will kiſs his Picture, or Drink his Health, but nothing elſe, whoſe Loyalty is know by their Rags, as ſome Mens Honeſty is by their Poverty: ſuch as will ſerve him no further than the Chimney Corner, and do nothing elſe but talk for him: However, I ſtill take care to diſtribute a ſmall Subſiſtance, and have my Partizans among 'em to keep their Fury awake; I have inendiaries at Work wherever there's any Wicked deſign a foot.
Q. And what will your Majeſty do for 'em if you compaſs your Deſign of fixing the Crown of England on the Presended Prince of Wales?
A. Hang up half them for their Folly, and encourage the other half for being Rogues to their Country.
Q. What may the people of England expect?
A. As much Mercy as I ſhew'd to the Hugonots of my own Kingdom; Turn or burn, Fire or Faggot I'd make all her Laws conformable to Arbitrary power and inſtruct their Senate with French Dragoons; (illegible text) Tutor the Pr. in my own Diſcipline, and ſoon ⟨bring⟩ the Nation under my Yoke: Ireland I'de ſecure (illegible text) the Expenſive War, I have been at to Re-throne (illegible text) Father. I'd Marry the Duke of Berry to his ⟨Sister⟩ and have Scotland for a Dowry, and ſoon make ⟨him⟩ King of England, with as ſtrong Title as his ⟨Brother's⟩ King of Spain.
Q. Do your Majeſtie think you ſhall ever ⟨bring⟩ this to paſs?
A. I can't tell, the Dutch and Engliſh have ⟨given⟩ a plaugie streak to my Affairs, or elſe I might ⟨have⟩ effected my purpoſe e're this, but I begin now ⟨to⟩ grow out of hopes; the Joy I conceiv'd at the ⟨Death⟩ of K 'William', for which his Holineſs wept is all ⟨washed⟩ away by the Hand of Effeminiate Woman; For ⟨my⟩ part, I begin to think a Female Regencie in England, besides neither Spain nor France Good. I laugh when I heard they had Proclaim'd War againſt ⟨me⟩ but her Lions have rous'd me from my Lethargie I find none of the Honey of Sampſons Lion in 'em, ⟨but⟩ Giol and Vinegar, the moſt bloodie inflatlare Rogue that ever were turn'd looſe. A Man may as ſoon (illegible text) Whirlwind as a Battalion of Engliſh Manmidons; ⟨for⟩ my part, I begin to Repent the overſight that ⟨made⟩ me provoke them.
Q. Pray who was Your Majeſties Counſel?,
A . Madan, Maiatenon, the Devil, the Papa , ⟨and⟩ Father la Chefe, whoſe Advice I'm obliged to follow tho the old Gentlemen has me at last; for I still reſolve to purſue my old courſe of Life, which is ⟨to⟩ keep no Word of Oath further than my own ⟨Interests,⟩ to take all advantages to encroach upon my Neighbours, to oppreſs my own Subjects, and perſecute the Reformed Religion, to draw Princes into an Alliance, and leave them in the Lurch; to be Abſolute and Arbitray in my way of Government, and to be a true Son of my Father to my Lives End.
FINIS.
This work was published before January 1, 1929, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.
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