Lady Clara Vere De Vere: New Style

by Anne O'Hagan

LADY CLARA VERE DE VERE: NEW STYLE

(REFORMER, UPLIFTER, SOCIAL SERVICER AND BELIEVER IN BETTERMENT)

BY ANNE O'HAGAN

WITH A PICTURE BY E. L. BLUMENSCHEIN

LADY CLARA: NEW STYLE

Lady Clara Vere de Vere,
Though, 'neath the Tennysonian frown,
You 've ceased to play at hearts, what need
For throwing all the graces down?
The quip, the wile, the wingèd smile,
Must these in truth be quite retired,
Reformer of a thousand ills,
O lady with a mission fired?

Lady Clara Vere de Vere,
You cause a tumult in my head.
I do not know how many quarts
Of coal-tar every year are fed
In store-made pies, or what dread dyes
Give that bright emerald to canned peas.
I do not know the cure for graft,
Or juvenile delinquencies;
And, oh, my very soul is sick
Of these and topics like to these!

Lady Clara Vere de Vere,
On suffragism you 've a view.
You have one on the cost of war,
And what the working-girl should do.
Your uplift crusade comprehends
The stage, the mart, the funeral bier;
Your dinner-table talk has grown
Statistical and very drear.

Trust me, Clara Vere de Vere,
By yon blue heavens above us bent,
The gardener Adam and his wife
Yawn at your plans for betterment.
We never see such sad ennui
Among our hapless human brood
As when the ladies' motto runs:
" 'T is fashionable to do good."

••••

Clara, Clara Vere de Vere,
If time hangs heavy on your hands,
Are there no suitors at your gates,
No squires of dames about your lands?
Go, play the game of hearts again,
Coquette, and sparkle, languish, glow;
Ask pardon of the folk you 've bored,
And let the thousand causes go!