9 BUCK-HAVEN IN FIFE-SHIRE. old he took a great ſwelling in his wame, and caſting up o' his kail, collops and cauld fifh, that nothing ſtaid on his ſtomach, and a ſtout ſtomach had he, for crab-heads, or ſcate-broſe, or fat-broſe on a bridal-morning; yet it fail'd him; he fell ſick, and none could cure him, or tell what ail'd him, till a mountebank ſtage-doctor came to Kirk- caldy, that could judge by people's water, the troubles of their perſon, and Willy hearing of his fame, piſſed into a bottle, and ſent it away with his daughter; the bottle being uncorked, his daughter ſpilt it by the way, and to conceal her ſloth in ſo doing, piſſed in it herſelf, and on ſhe goes, comes to the ſtage, and cries, Sir Dochter, Sir. Dochter, here is a bottle o' my father's waſh, he has a fair guts, never needs to drite ony, he ſpues a' he eats, 'tis true I tell you, my dow; the doc- intor looks at it, and ſays, It is not your father's, ſurely it is your mother's; a, de'ils i' the man; co ſhe, divna I ken my father by my mither? Then, ſaid he, he is with child: A de'ils i' the man co? rife, for my mother bore a' de bairos before, dots. wino true fir, a figs ye're a great liar home ſhe came, and tell'd Willy her father, that the doctor ſaid he was wi' bairo. O waes me, co' Willy, for I hae a muckle wame, and I fear it's o'er true, O plague on you Janet, for ye're the father o't, and I'm ſure to die in the bearing o't. Witty Eppie was lent for, as he was houdy, and ſand a' Wil. dy's, wame, to be ſure about it, indeed co' Eppie ye're the firſt man e'er I ſaw wi' bairn before and how you'll bear't I dinna ken, ye hae'a wally wame, weel I wat, but how men bear bairns I pever ſaw them yet, but I would drink fat water and drown't in my guts, for an men,'get anes the gate o' bear- ing-weans themſells, they'll ſeek mac mae wives: ſo Willy drank ſea-water till his guy was like to ſrive, and out he goes to eaſe himſelf a song the
Page:Ancient and modern history of Buck-haven, in Fife-shire.pdf/9
