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and in the end the father replies: „We are willing to agree to all that you have said, but as you know the saying holds good of us, reaching the goal yet not wholly attaining it, coming close up yet not actually touching it (i.e. we are of a truth too lowly in rank, and our dealing in the matter will leave much to be desired); therefore your servant knows not how to reply"[1].
Betrothal gifts.After this, the symbolic language is dropped, and a preliminary arrangement made. The seulangké now returns to those who sent him, makes his report of the negociations and invites the parents of the youth to accompany him to see the keuchiʾ and teungku of the gampōng where the girl resides, in order to fix a day for the mè tanda kòng narit, i.e. the bringing of a token that the agreement has been ratified—a betrothal gift in fact.
Marriage an affair of the gampōng.The parents of the young man have of course, before taking the first step, asked the permission of the teungku and keuchiʾ of their own gampōng for the proposed marriage, and the parents of the girl on their part do the same with their local authorities after the seulangké has paid them his first visit. Marriage is in fact by no means a mere family matter, but at least as much an affair of the whole gampōng.
Authority of the keuchiʾ in connection with marriage.Thus the keuchiʾ has power to prevent a proposed marriage from taking place. The headman of the girl's gampōng will seldom refuse his consent. He has no reason to object to her marrying a man of the same gampōng and is even less likely to raise difficulties to her taking a husband from elsewhere. In the latter case the children of the marriage may be regarded as trees planted by a stranger, of which the owner of the garden has the exclusive enjoyment and profit. It is only where the keuchiʾ himself or one of his relations or chiefs has his eye on the girl, that he sets himself to baffle the parents when they suggest disposing otherwise of her hand, and so tries to compass his private ends.
The usual form of the dialogue of the parents of the girl with the keuchiʾ is as follows: "X (the seulangké) has just come, bringing a message from Teuku N. (the father of the young man) asking for our child for him (n.b., the father). What is now the Teuku's (= your) good pleasure?" He replies, "What part have I in the matter? be it as it seems good to you, whose child it concerns".
- ↑ For a description of the betrothal ceremonies of the Malays of the Peninsula, see Skeat's Malay Magic pp. 364–368. (Translator).
