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THE WAGES OF VIRTUE

yew was a-climbin' down and a-takin' back the challenge to our Loojey! I told him ef he didn't wipe off his chin and put some putty on his gas-escape I'd do five-spot in Biribi fer him. 'Yes, Mounseer Malvin,' I ses when I'd slugged him, 'I'll git the as de pique[1] on my collar for yew!' … 'It's true,' he snivelled. 'It's true,' and lays on the groun' so as I shan't slug him agin. So I comes away—not seein' why I should do the two-step on nuthin' at the end of a rope for a dod-gasted little bed-bug like Mounseer Malvin."

"It is true, Buck," replied John Bull.

"Well then, I wisht I'd stayed and plugged him some more," was the remarkable reply.

"Rivoli told Carmelita about the duel, and I've promised her I'd let him go," continued John Bull.

"Then yure a gosh-dinged fool, John," said the Bucking Bronco. "Yew ain't to be trusted where wimmin's about. It would hev' bin the best day's work yew ever done fer Carmelita ef you'd let daylight through thet plug-ugly old bluff. He'll lie ter her from Revelley to Taps[2] until old Mother Canteen takes him into her shebang fer good—and then as like as not, he'll put Carmelita up at auction.… There'll be no holding our Loojey now, John. I should smile. Anybody as thinks our Loojey'll make it easy fer yew has got another think comin'. It's a cinch. He'll give yew a dandy time, John. What's a-bitin' yew anyway?"

"Carmelita," was the reply.

"I allow the right stunt fer eny pal o' Carmelita's

  1. Mark of the Zephyrs.
  2. Last Post. So called (in the American Army) because it is the signal to leave the Canteen and turn off the beer-taps.