A Hybrid
THE older members of the family having departed in gala attire to attend a wedding, the two-year-old Elbridge inquired of sister Helen, aged five, "What is a wedding?" "I'm afraid you're too young to understand," was the worldly-wise reply, "but it's something between a funeral and dancing-school."
A Nautical Deduction
CRIED the Captain: "It's true.
You never will do,
You won't make a sailor, my boy,
For if you insist
That a spade is a spade.
You can't call a ship ahoy!"
An Omission
CLARA overheard her parents talking about Bible names.
"Is my name in the Bible?" she asked.
"No, dear."
"Didn't God make me?"
"Yes."
"Then why didn't He say something about it?"
Recipe for Poems
FIND first thy metre. If the task be hard
Consult thy Keats and Shelley,—in them is
Some measure that will suit a busy bard,
('Twas "Adonais" I used in writing this!).
Then, if thy rhythmic feeling run amiss,
Heed thou the ticking clock—it may transfer
Those beats from out its cranial abyss
All choked with wheels, to where thine own works whirr;—
Then sit thee calmly down before thy type-writer.
Seek next thy subject. Let the matter be
Not as a stranger, but some old, old friend.
As "Death," "A Daisy," "Spring," or "Constancy."
Then for thy rhyming dictionary send,
For oft its echoing columns hap to lend
A few poetic thoughts to him who gleans.
And keep in mind until the, very end—
That line is best if none know what it means.
Thus do the poets write their verse for magazines.
An image should appear at this position in the text. To use the entire page scan as a placeholder, edit this page and replace "{{missing image}}" with "{{raw image|Harper's New Monthly Magazine - v108.djvu/1042}}". Otherwise, if you are able to provide the image then please do so. For guidance, see Wikisource:Image guidelines and Help:Adding images. |  |
Turtle. "Hi! you've dropped your ulster!"
