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MY SECRET LIFE

CHAPTER II.

My godfather.—At Hampton-Court.—My aunt’s backside.—Public baths.—My cousins’ cunts.—Haymaking frolics.—Family difficulties.—School amusements.—A masturbating relative.—Romance and sentiment.

My godfather (whose fortune I afterwards inherited) was very fond of me; somewhere about this time he used perpetually to be saying, “When you get to school, don’t you follow any of the tricks yourself, that other boys do, or you will die in a mad-house; lots of boys do.” And he told me some horrible tales; it was done in a mysterious way. I felt there was a hidden meaning, and not having knowledge of what it was, asked him. I should know fast enough, said he, but mark his words. He repeated this so often, that it sunk deeply into my mind, and made me uneasy, something was to happen to me, if I did something—I did not know what—it was intended as a caution against frigging, and it had good effect on me I am sure in various ways in the after time.

One day talking with Fred, I recollected what I had done to the governess. I had kept it to myself all along for fear. “What a lie,” said he. “I did really.” Oh! ain’t you a liar,” he reiterated, “I’ll ask Miss Granger.” The same governess was with us then.

At this remark of his, an absolute terror came over me, the dread was something so terrible, that the

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