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DEATH OF A WATCH.

After the battle of Falkirk, in 1746, a Highlandman was observed extracting a gold watch from the fob of an English officer who had been killed. His comrade viewed him with a greedy' eye; which the man taking notice of said to him “ Tamn you gapin’ creedy bitch, gang an’ shoot a shentleman for hersel', an’ no envie me o’ my pit watch. Next morning finding his watch motionless, and meeting his comrade, says to him, "Och ! she no be care muckle about a watch, an’ you be like mine what will you gie me for her ?” The other replied, I be venture a kinny.”—--"Weel then,” said the other, “ Shust tak her, an’ welcome, for she be die vester night.”

LUMP OF OLD WOOD. An aged man, named Thomas Wood, sitting on a high three footed stool in the gallery of the Old Church of Falkirk, during divine service, happened to fall asleep, tumbled on the floor with a great noise. The preacher stopped, and demanded the reason of the noise. "Nothing, Sir,” cries a wag, "But a lump of Old Wood fallen down.’