Q. Are any of my relations present?
A. Rub, rub, rub.
Q. Female?—(calmly).
A. Rub.
Q. Male?—(anxiously).
A. Rub, rub, rub.
Q. Will you spell your name?
A. Rub, rub, rub.
Q. A, B, C?—(interrogatively).
A. Rub, rub, rub.
Q. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H?—(pauses).
A. Rub, rub rub.
And so on until you have made him spell the entire name, to which in most cases he will assist you, though a choice of names written out is infinitely less tedious.
A wary person may, however, easily frustrate this process by running through the alphabet, and studiously avoiding all emphasis, or by designedly emphasising, which is worse, the wrong letter, so that you find you are compounding utter nonsense,—that, in fact, he is leading the spirits by the nose to a brick wall. Of course you get out of this difficulty by saying that the spirits are uncertain or capricious, or that, for the sake of mere fun, they wilfully perplex you.
As soon as the spirits decline to rap correctly, or earlier, if you please, you may suggest to the company that they may even be touched by spirit hands. To indicate their power, place a hand-bell underneath the table and ring it with your feet; then commence (by the methods already described) pulling the ladies’ dresses and gentlemen’s trousers, pinching their feet and ankles, and even lifting their legs off the ground, by clasping them round the ankle, as in figure 4. To operate upon each person with equal facility, frequent change of place will be necessary, and as it would not do for you to leave your seat, you rap out C, H, A, N, G, E, when this is desirable.
You may next invite a person to throw down a pencil, and hold a slate underneath the table; snatch it from him with your two feet, in the mode shown in figure 3, and deposit it on the floor, feel about for the pencil with your feet, pick it up, and commence scratching on the slate to the best of your ability, relying on the sound to affect the company, while they are in a state of absurd suspense. If the writing be illegible, as it is nearly sure to be, say that it is very bad to-night, but that, on other evenings, the spirit autographs were remarkably clear, in proof of which you will exhibit some specimens written by hand and kept for the purpose. You can even assert that communications are frequently made in the hand-writings of different members of the company, and so avail yourself of a fib which none of the present company can contradict.
You may next place a Bible under the table for the spirits to turn over the leaves; of course you can kick them over with your feet, or as the book, on account of its thickness, refuses to keep open in one place, you can put your foot aside, and invite the sitters to look under the table, and see the leaves turning over without your assistance. When the company have resumed their original positions you may slip your right foot under one leaf, place your left firmly on the page, and lifting the toe of your right boot, turn up the corner and tread it sharply down; then shut the book with your foot, lift it with both feet, thrust it into your neighbour’s lap, and rap out that he is to open it. He will of course find the leaf turned down, and will be cudgelling his brains to find an application of the particular text. While he or others are thus occupied, you may, if the opportunity present itself, seize a man’s foot under the table and bend it backwards and forwards; but should previously satisfy yourself (this is very material) that he has on leather, and not dress boots with silk tops, or he will be enabled to detect, with painful certainty, that he is seized not by a single hand, but by a pair of feet encased in women’s boots, and those boots without a doubt yours. After this he will cease to wonder at the sharp pinches inflicted on his ancles, or the facility with which you snatch articles from people’s hands under the table.
You may now proceed to your crowning experiment, which consists in making the table rise clear off the ground, still maintaining its upright position. As a preliminary, you make it go through some extraordinary evolutions by alternately pressing and pushing the top with your hands, contrary to Michael Faraday’s theory, by voluntary and not involuntary muscular action. You then allow the agitated table a little respite while you cross the right leg over the left knee, and insert the end of your right foot under the base which supports the column; maintain the pressure of your hands as you straighten your leg, and the table will rise perpendicularly about two feet from the ground.
Before, however, attempting this astounding feat, care should be taken that no wary person is sitting within reach, or he may dash out his foot, as a friend of mine did, and catch yours under the ancle, pinning you to the table with your leg in the air, as in the illustration below, a position from which you will find great difficulty in extricating yourself, without bringing the séance to an ignominious termination.
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Fig. 10.
You will probably be asked, if the spirits will rap when your feet are in full view; of course you will answer in the affirmative, though knowing well they will not, unless you can get some one to hammer in an adjoining room. In this case you should take away the hammer when you leave, especially if it does not belong to the house, and should not leave it to tell your secret, as it did in the case I refer to.
