O nymphaa ingenium adamantinium habens!
quam Jovis horret pernix telum.
quamque profundi fluctus pelagi
terdidant, quam quoque trepidat, sceptra
qui gerit infera, Stygis Pluton!
O gaudens nodis, lectigrada
cursivetans, talorum tortrix,
calcicrematrix, malehumitanga,
ossitremenda, genufraga, insomnis,
articulos cruciandi cupida,
curvi-genu-flexa, potens Podagra!
O hideous name, hateful to Gods and men,
O gout, calamitous, hell-born I ween,
sent from Tartarean deepest, darkest den!
whom from her direful womb Megæra accurst
brought forth, and the fell froward bantling nurst
what fury else could thy dread mother be?
to mortals baneful, Stygian malady!
but if the conscious shades our actions know,
and this wor1d's crimes are punish'd there below!
nor Tantalus's thirst, Ixion's rack,
nor Sisyphus's stone still rolling back;
is equal doom; rather to each be sent
the gout, more adequate a punishment,
hence let thy member — breaking tortures fall
on every crime and every criminal.
