enjoy him no more: they may nourish themselves with the truth, but it is no more for them but the bread of tribulation and bitterness: they may seek the kingdom of God, and the treasure of the gospel, but it is like unfortunate slaves, condemned to search for gold in the bowels of the earth, and waste their strength against the opposing rocks: they may draw for water from the wells of Jacob, but they can only reap the toil; they can never partake of those comforts and consolations which bear peace and refreshment to the soul: they wish to draw near to God, yet every thing separates them from him; they wish to fly from the world, yet, wherever they go, there they carry it with them in their heart: they seek the society of virtuous people, yet in their company they find a weariness, and a melancholy stiffness, which disgust them with piety itself: they apply themselves to holy books, and, alas! it is only a tiresome and fatiguing decency which supports their patience. It appears, that in virtue they act a borrowed character, so little does it become them, and so much does their part constrain and tire them j and although, in reality, they seek salvation, yet there appears a something so foreign and constrained in their efforts, that we believe they only assume the semblance of it; and that, feeling themselves not born to virtue, they wish, at least, to give themselves the appearance of it.
Disgusts and wearinesses should not, therefore, drive us from virtue; since, in proportion as we retire from it, they become every day more violent and insupportable. But candidly, my brethren, is it for us to reproach God that we weary in his service? Ah! did our slaves and domestics make us the same reproach; had they to lament the weariness they experience in our service, they would certainly be entitled to complain of it. Our eternal humours, from which they suffer so much; our fancies and caprices, to which they must accommodate themselves; our hours and moments, to which they must subject themselves; our pleasures and tastes, to which they must sacrifice their rest and liberty; our indolence, which alone costs them so much, makes them endure so much weariness, pass so many melancholy moments, without our even deigning to observe it; they undoubtedly would be entitled to complain of their cruel situation and sufferings.
Nevertheless, should they venture to say, that they weary in our service; that they reap not the smallest satisfaction from it; that they feel no inclination for us, and that every service they perform is disgusting to a degree scarcely supportable; — alas! we would regard them as fools: we would find them too happy in having to support our humours and caprices; we would think them sufficiently honoured, by being permitted to be near us, and fully recompensed for all their fatigues. Ah, my brethren! and God, does he not sufficiently recompense those who serve him, that they should support any little disgusts or wearinesses which may be found in his service? Are we not still too happy, by his acceptance of our services, in spite of the repugnances which render them cold and languid? Does he not sufficiently load us
