late stood out against your brother, and hee hath tane you newly into his grace, where it is impossible you should take root, but by the faire weather that you make your selfe, it is needful that you frame the season for your owne haruest.
Iohn.
I had rather be a canker in a hedge, then a rose in his grace, and it better fits my bloud to be disdain'd of all, then to fashion a carriage to rob loue from any: in this (though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man) it must not be denied but I am a plaine dealing villaine, I am trusted with a mussell, and enfranchisde with a clog, therefore I haue decreed, not to sing in my cage: if I had my mouth, I would bite: if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meane time, let me be that I am, and seeke not to alter me.
Con.
Can you make no vse of your discontent?
Iohn.
I will make all vse of it, for I vse it onely. Who comes here? what newes Borachio?
Enter Borachio.
I came yonder from a great supper, the Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can giue you intelligence of an intended marriage.
Iohn.
Will it serue for any Modell to build mischiefe on? What is hee for a foole that betrothes himselfe to vnquietnesse?
Bor.
Mary it is your brothers right hand.
Iohn.
Who, the most exquisite Claudio?
Bor.
Euen he.
Iohn.
A proper squier, and who, and who, which way lookes he?
Bor.
Mary on Hero, the daughter and Heire of Leonato.
Iohn.
A very forward March-chicke, how came you to this:
Bor.
Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoaking a musty roome, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt behind the Arras, and there heard it agreed vpon, that the Prince should wooe Hero for himselfe, and hauing obtain'd her, giue her to Count Claudio.
Iohn.
Come, come, let vs thither, this may proue food to my displeasure, that young start-vp hath all the glorie of my ouerthrow: if I can crosse him any way, I blesse my selfe euery way, you are both sure, and will assist mee?
Conr.
To the death my Lord.
Iohn.
Let vs to the great supper, their cheere is the greater that I am subdued, would the Cooke were of my minde: shall we goe proue whats to be done?
Bor.
Wee'll wait vpon your Lordship.
Actus Secundus.
Enter Leonato, his brother, his wife, Hero his daughter, and Beatrice his neece, and a kinsman.
Leonato.
Was not Count Iohn here at supper?
Brother.
I saw him not.
Beatrice.
How tartly that Gentleman lookes, I neuer can see him, but I am heart-burn'd an howre after.
Hero.
He is of a very melancholy disposition.
Beatrice.
Hee were an excellent man that were made iust in the mid-way betweene him and Benedicke, the one is too like an image and saies nothing, and the other too like my Ladies eldest sonne, euermore tatling.
Leon.
Then halfe signior Benedicks tongue in Count Iohns mouth, and halfe Count Iohns melancholy in Signior Benedicks face.
Beat.
With a good legge, and a good foot vnckle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would winne any woman in the world, if he could get her good will.
Leon.
By my troth Neece, thou wilt neuer get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
Brother.
Infaith shee's too curst.
Beat.
Too curst is more then curst, I shall lessen Gods sending that way: for it is said, God sends a curst Cow short hornes, but to a Cow too curst he sends none.
Leon.
So, by being too curst, God will send you no hornes.
Beat.
Iust, if he send me no husband, for the which blessing, I am at him vpon my knees euery morning and euening: Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face, I had rather lie in the woollen.
Leonato.
You may light vpon a husband that hath no beard.
Beatrice.
What should I doe with him? dresse him in my apparell, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? he that hath a beard, is more then a youth: and he that hath no beard, is lesse then a man: and hee that is more then a youth, is not for mee: and he that is lesse then a man, I am not for him: therefore I will euen take sixepence in earnest of the Berrord, and leade his Apes into hell.
Leon.
Well then, goe you into hell.
Beat.
No, but to the gate, and there will the Deuill meete mee like an old Cuckold with hornes on his head, and say, get you to heauen Beatrice, get you to heauen, heere's no place for you maids, so deliuer I vp my Apes, and away to S. Peter: for the heauens, hee shewes mee where the Batchellers sit, and there liue wee as merry as the day is long.
Brother.
Well neece, I trust you will be rul'd by your father.
Beatrice.
Yes faith, it is my cosens dutie to make curtsie, and say, as it please you: but yet for all that cosin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make an other cursie, and say, father, as it please me.
Leonato.
Well neece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.
Beatrice.
Not till God make men of some other mettall then earth, would it not grieue a woman to be ouermastred with a peece of valiant dust: to make account of her life to a clod of waiward marle? no vnckle, ile none: Adams sonnes are my brethren, and truly I hold it a sinne to match in my kinred.
Leon.
Daughter, remember what I told you, if the Prince doe solicit you in that kinde, you know your answere.
Beatrice.
The fault will be in the musicke cosin, if you be not woed in good time: if the Prince bee too important, tell him there is measure in euery thing, & so dance out the answere, for heare me Hero, wooing, wedding, & repenting, is as a Scotch jigge, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suite is hot and hasty like a Scotch jigge (and full as fantasticall) the wedding manerly modest, (as a measure) full of state & aunchentry, and then comes repentance, and with his bad legs falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sinkes into his graue.
