were unanswerable, and the jury found a verdict for the plaintiff with one pound damages. " We won't try any more causes with this jury," said the Baron; "call another." And as they left the box he quietly added, " Go home, gentlemen; and as you value your heads and ribs at one pound, I hope you may find some liberal purchasers on your journey!" /Judge Kent, the well-known jurist, presided in
- ase in which a man was indicted for burglary;
and the evidence at the trial showed that the bur glary consisted in his cutting a hole through a tent in which several persons were sleeping, and then projecting his head and arm through the hole and abstracting various articles of value. It was claimed by his counsel that inasmuch as he never entered into the tent with his whole body, he had not committed the offence charged, and must therefore be set at liberty. In reply to this plea, the judge told the jury that if they were not satisfied that the whole man was involved in the crime, they might bring in a ver dict of guilty against so much of him as was involved. The jury, after a brief consultation, found the right arm, the right shoulder, and the head of the prisoner guilty of the offence of burglary. The judge accordingly sentenced the right arm, the right shoulder, and the head to imprisonment with hard labor in the state-prison for two years, re marking that as to the rest of the man's body, he might do with it as he pleased.
Defendant. Now, Docthor, by vartue of your oath, did n't I say, " Kill or cure, Docthor, I 'll give you a guinea "? and did n't you say, " Kill or cure, I'll take it"? Doctor. You did; and I agreed to the bargain, and I want the guinea accordingly. Defendant. Now, Docthor, by vartue of your oath answer this : Did you cure my wife? Doctor. No; she 's dead. You know that. Defendant. Then, Docthor, by vartue of your oath answer this : Did you kill my wife? Doctor. No; she died of her illness. Defendant (triumphantly to the bench). Your Worship, see this. You heard him tell our bargain, ! —it was to kill or cure. By vartue of his oath, he done neither, and he axes his fee!
Baron Pollock has a strong aversion to trying cases which involve questions of accounting. The other day, in opening a case before his lordship, the counsel for the plaintiff mentioned that his client's husband had gone to " his long account." The learned judge pricked up his ears at once. "What is that?" he exclaimed, — "a long ac count? I am not going to try a question of ac count. I shall refer this case." Counsel had to explain, in order to avoid an instant remit. — Irish Law Times. One of the wittiest as well as one of the most brilliant men Pennsylvania has produced was the late George W. Barton, of Philadelphia. Trying a case before a judge who was chiefly remarkable for obtuseness, he took occasion to say that he had often seen a great ass in judicial robes. "You speak from experience, I suppose," was the angry retort. "Not at all," replied Judge Barton; " I am speaking directly from observation."
At the opening of a term of court in County, Maine, a young clergyman was called upon to act as chaplain, who concluded his prayer with this supplication : " And finally may we all be gathered in that happy land where there are no courts, no lawyers, and no judges."
Sir William Maule once said : " People talk about a man and his wife being one. It is all nonsense. I do not believe that under the most favorable circumstances they can be considered less than two. For instance, if a man murders his wife, did ever anybody hear of his having com mitted suicide?"
"Prisoner at the bar," said the judge to a man on his trial for murder, " is there anything you wish to say before sentence is passed upon you?" "Judge," replied the prisoner, " there has been altogether too much said already. I knew all along somebody would get hurt, if these people did n't keep their mouths shut. It might as well be me, perhaps, as anybody else. Drive on, Judge, and give me as little sentiment as you can get along on. I can stand hanging, but I hate gush."
