B.C. 48, ÆT. 58
You must see what a crushing weight of sorrow mine is. If
it were only such as is common to me with the rest of those
who are regarded as being in the same position as myself,
my error had seemed less grave and therefore more easy to
bear. As it is, there is no consolation, unless you secure
(if it is not now too late to secure it) that I have no special
loss or wrong inflicted upon me. I have been somewhat
slow in sending back your letter-carrier, because there was
no opportunity of getting him across. Pray send letters in
my name to any to whom you think it right to do so. You
know my intimates. If they remark on the absence of my
signet or handwriting, pray tell them that I have avoided
using either owing to the military pickets.
CCCCVI (F VIII, 17)
M. CÆLIUS RUFUS TO CICERO (IN EPIRUS)
Rome (February or March)
To think that I was in Spain rather than at Formiæ, when
you started to join Pompey! Oh that Appius Claudius had
been on our side, or Gaius Curio on yours![1] It was my
friendship for the latter that gradually edged me on to this
infernal party—for I feel that my good sense was destroyed
between anger and affection. You too—when, being on
the point of starting for Ariminum,[2] I came at night to
visit you—in the midst of your giving me messages for Cæsar
about peace, and playing your rôle of fine citizen, you quite
- ↑ For Cælius's quarrel with Appius, see vol. ii., pp. 194, 195. He thinks that if Appius had been a Cæsarian that would have made him turn Pompeian. But the reading is doubtful.
- ↑ Reading Ariminum with Mueller. The MSS. have Arimino; Tyrrell and Purser read Arpino. But Cælius evidently refers to his going to join Cæsar, and though we do not know otherwise of his having done so at Ariminum, this best accounts for his having been early employed by Cæsar, as we know he was, vol. ii., p. 298. His visit to Cicero would then be in the first week of January, and he would probably start for Ariminum before the news had come of the crossing of the Rubicon.
