A batter'd, shatter'd, ash bedstead;
A box of deal without a lid;
A pair of tongs, but out of joint;
A backsword poker, without point;
A pot that's cracked across, around
With an old knotted garter bound;
An iron lock without a key;
A wig, with hanging quite grown gray;
A curtain worn to half a stripe;
A pair of bellows, without pipe;
A dish which might good meat afford once;
An Ovid, and an old Concordance;
A bottle bottom, wooden platter;
One is for meal, and one for water;
There likewise is a copper skillet;
Which runs as fast out, as you fill it;
A candlestick, snuffdish, and saveall,
And thus his household goods you have all.
These to your lordship, as a friend,
Till you have built, I freely lend;
They'll serve your lordship for a shift;
Why not, as well as doctor Swift?
Thus were the tables turned upon the dean, and a good deal of mirth indulged at his expense.
When he was at Quilca he went one Sunday to a church at the distance of more than two hours ride. The parson of the parish invited him to dinner, but Swift excused himself by saying that it was too far to ride home afterward; no, I shall dine with my neighbour Reilly at Virginy, which is half way home. Reilly, who was what is called there a gentleman farmer, was proud of the honour, and immediately dispatched a messenger to his wife to prepare for the reception of so extraordinary a guest.
