Poems of Anne Countess of Winchilsea 1903/The Goute and Spider

THE GOUTE AND SPIDER

A Fable

Imitated from Monsr. de la Fontaine And Inscribed to Mr. Finch

After his first Fitt of that Distemper

When from th' Infernal pitt two Furies rose
One foe to Flies and one to Mans repose
Seeking aboue to find a place secure
Since Hell the Goute nor Spider cou'd indure
On a rich Pallace at the first they light
Where pleas'd Arachne dazzl'd with the sight
In a conspiccuous corner of a Room
The hanging Frett work makes her active Loom.
From leaf to leaf with every line does trace,
Admires the strange convenience of the place 10
Nor can belieue those Cealings e're were made
To other end than to promote her Trade
Where prou'd and prosper' d in her finish'd work
The hungry Fiend does in close Ambush lurk
Untill some silly Insect shall repay
What from her Bowells she has spun that day.
The wiser Gout (for that's a thinking ill)
Observing how the splended chambers fill
With visitors such as abound below
Who from Hypocrates and Gallen grow 20

To some unwealthy shed resolues to fly
And there obscure and unmolested lye
But see how eithers project quickly fails
The Clown his new tormentor with him trayles
Through miry ways rough Woods and furrow'd Lands
Ne're cutts the Shooe nor propp'd on Crutches stands
With Phœbus rising stays with Cynthia out
Allows no respitt to the harrass'd Gout.
Whilst with extended Broom th' unpittying Maid
Does the transparent Laberynth invade 30
Back stroke and fore the battering Engin went
Broke euery Cord and quite unhing'd the Tent
No truce the tall Virago e're admitts
Contracted and abash'd Arachne' sitts
Then in conuenient Time the Work renews
The battering Ram again the work persues.
What's to be done ? The Gout and Spider meet,
Exchange, the Cottage this; That takes the feet
Of the rich Abbott who that Pallace kept
And 'till that time in Velvet Curtains slept 40
Now Colwort leaues and Cataplasms (thô vain)
Are hourly order'd by that griping traine.
Who blush not to Prescribe t'exhaust our Gold
For aches which incurable they hold
Whil'st stroak'd and fixt the pamper'd Gout remains
And in an easy Chair euer the Preist detains.
In a thatched Roof secure the Spider thrives,
Both mending by due place their hated liues.
From whose succeeding may this moral grow
That each his propper Station learn to know. 50

For You my Dear whom late that pain did seize,
Not rich enough to sooth the bad disease
By large expences to engage his stay

Nor yett so poor to fright the Gout away
May you but some unfrequent Visits find
To prove you patient, your Ardelia kind
Who by a tender and officious care
Will ease that Grief or her proportion bear
Since Heaven does in the Nuptial state admitt
Such cares but new endearments to begett 60
And to allay the hard fatigues of life
Gaue the first Maid a Husband, Him a Wife.

UPON THE DEATH OF THE RIGHT HONORABLE WILLIAM LORD MAIDSTON

Who was a Volunteere in the Sol-bay Fight and kill'd by a Random shott, after the fight was over and the Fleets parted. On May 28th, 1672

Fate 'till the Day was ours, wou'd not dispense
With Maidston's aid, for Brittan's strong defence:
But then, least Pride, might by successe prevaile,
Threw in His losse, to poize th' unequal skale;
Giving us Sway ; the Dutch a cause to boast
They'd kill'd one man, excelling all they losst.

FROM THE MUSES, AT PARNASSUS

(a hill so call'd in Eastwell Park) to the Right Honble ye Ldy : Maidston on my Lord Winchilsea's Birth-day

Wonder not, Madam, that the Muses pay
Their gratefull tribute, on this happy day;
And in loud wishes, all their force employ,
That many more, like this, you may enjoy ;
Since from your own Parnassus, they receive
Pleasure's, which theirs in Phocis, never gave ;
And own, whilst here they reach the height of blisse,
Their forked hill, was but a type of this.
See where they come, their brows with lawrel bound,
And hear the neighbouring woods, repeat the sound, 10