Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3829/The Awakening

by E. G. V. Knox

THE AWAKENING.

"Here no howitzers speak in stern styles,
 Light and gay is the leathorn bomb,
We pay our sixpences down at the turnstiles,
 And that is our centre, name of Tom;
   Wild thunder rolls
   When he scores his goals,
And up in the air go Alf and Ern's tiles;
 But what is this rumour of war? Whence cometh it from?"

So said Bottlesham, best of cities
 Watching the ball from seats above.
"Belgium ruined? A thousand pities!
 Bother the Kaiser's mailéd glove!"
   But it left no stings
   When they heard these things,
Though they wept as the brown bird weeps for Itys
 On the day that the Wanderers whacked them two to love.

Suddenly then the news came flying,
 "English mariners meet the Dutch,
Tars interned, with the neutrals vieing,
 Beaten at Gröningen." Wild hands clutch
   At the evening sheets
   And the swift pulse beats;
Is the fame of Hawke and Frobisher dying?
 The heart of the town is stirred by the Nelson touch.

Six-five. It's true. And the tears bedizen
 The smoke-stained cheeks, and there comes a scream,
"If our English lads in a far-off prison
 Are matched one day with a German team
   And the Germans win,
   They will say in Berlin
That a brighter than all our stars has risen;
 Will even the Bottlesham Rovers stand supreme?

"Infantry, cavalry, guard and lancer—
 Who on that day will bear the brunt,
With twinkling feet like a tip-toe dancer
 Dribbling about while the half-backs grunt?
   There is only one
   Who can vanquish the IIun!"
And Bottlesham town with a cry made answer,
 "There is only one; we must send our Tom to the front."
Evoe.

 

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