The Delights of Wisdom pertaining to Conjugial love/On Concubinage
ON CONCUBINAGE.
462. In the preceding chapter, in treating on fornication, we treated also on keeping a mistress; by which was understood the connection of an unmarried man with a woman under stipulated conditions: but by concubinage we here mean the connection of a married man with a woman in like manner under stipulated conditions. Those who do not distinguish genera, use the two terms promiscuously, as if they had one meaning, and thence one signification: but as they are two genera, and the term keeping a mistress is suitable to the former, because a kept mistress is a courtezan, and the term concubinage to the latter, because a concubine is a substituted partner of the bed, therefore for the sake of distinction, ante-nuptial stipulation with a woman is signified by keeping a mistress, and post-nuptial by concubinage. Concubinage is here treated of for the sake of order; for from order it is discovered what is the quality of marriage on the one part, and of adultery on the other. That marriage and adultery are opposites has already been shewn in the chapter concerning their opposition; and the quantity and quality of their opposition cannot be learnt but from their intermediates, of which concubinage is one; but as there are two kinds of concubinage, which are to be carefully distinguished, therefore this section, like the foregoing, shall be arranged into its distinct parts as follows: I. There are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife. II. Concubinage conjointly with a wife, is altogether unlawful for Christians, and detestable. III. That it is polygamy which has been condemned, and is to he condemned, by the Christian world. IV. It is an adultery whereby the conjugial principle, which is the most precious jewel of the Christian life, is destroyed. V. Concubinage apart from a wife, when it is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and truly excusatory, is not unlawful. VI. The legitimate causes of this concubinage are the legitimate causes of divorce, while the wife is nevertheless retained at home. VII. The just causes of this concubinage are the just causes of separation from the bed. VIII. Of the excusatory causes of this concubinage some are real and some not. IX. The really excusatory causes are such as are grounded in what is just. X. The excusatory causes which are not real are such as are not grounded in what is just, although in the appearance of what is just. XI. Those who from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, are engaged in this concubinage, may at the same time he principled in conjugial love. XII. While this concubinage continues, actual connection with a wife is not allowable. We proceed to an explanation of each article.
463. I. These are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, the one conjointly with a wife, the other apart from a wife. That there are two kinds of concubinage, which differ exceedingly from each other, and that the one kind consists in taking a substituted partner to the bed, and living conjointly and at the same time with her and with a wife; and that the other kind is when, after a legitimate and just separation from a wife, a man engages a woman in her stead as a bed-fellow; also that these two kinds of concubinage differ as much from each other as dirty linen from clean, may be seen by those who take a clear and distinct view of things, but not by those whose view of things is confused and indistinct: yea, it may be seen by those who are in conjugial love, but not by those who are in the love of adultery. The latter are in obscurity respecting all the derivations of the love of the sex, whereas the former are enliglitened respecting them: nevertheless, those who are in adultery, can see those derivations and their distinctions, not indeed in and from themselves, but from others when they hear them: for an adulterer has a similar faculty with a chaste husband of elevating his understanding; but an adulterer, after he has acknowledged the distinctions which he has heard from others, nevertheless forgets them, when he immerses his understanding in his filthy pleasure; for the chaste and the unchaste principles, and the sane and the insane, cannot dwell together; but, when separated, they may be distinguished by the understanding. I once inquired of those in the spiritual world who did not regard adulteries as sins, whether they knew a single distinction between fornication, keeping a mistress, the two kinds of concubinage, and the several degrees of adultery? They said they were all alike. I then asked them whether marriage was distinguishable? Upon this they looked around to see whether any of the clergy were present, and as there were not, they said, that in itself it is like the rest. The case was otherwise with those who in the ideas of their thought regarded adulteries as sins: these said, that in their interior ideas, which are of the perception, they saw distinctions, but had not yet studied to discern and know them asunder. This I can assert as a fact, that those distinctions are perceived by the angels in heaven as to their minutiæ. In order therefore that it may be seen, that there are two kinds of concubinage opposite to each other, one whereby conjugial love is destroyed, the other whereby it is not, we will first describe the kind which is condemnatory, and afterwards that which is not.
464. II. Concubinage conjointly with a wife is altogether unlawful for Christians, and detestable. It is unlawful, because it is contrary to the conjugial covenant; and it is detestable, because it is contrary to religion; and what is contrary to religion, and at the same time to the conjugial covenant, is contrary to the Lord: wherefore, as soon as any one, without a really conscientious cause, adjoins a concubine to a wife, heaven is closed to him; and by the angels he is no longer numbered among Christians. From that time also he despises the things of the church and of religion, and afterwards does not lift his face above nature, but turns himself to her as a deity, who favors his lust, from whose influx his spirit thenceforward receives animation. The interior cause of this apostasy will be explained in what follows. That this concubinage is detestable is not seen by the man himself who is guilty of it; because after the closing of heaven he becomes a spiritual insanity: but a chaste wife has a clear view of it, because she is a conjugial love, and this love nauseates such concubinage; wherefore also many such wives refuse actual connection with their husbands afterwards, as that which would defile their chastity by the contagion of lust adhering to the men from their courtezans.
465. III. It is polygamy which has been condemned, and is to be condemned, by the Christian world. That simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, is polygamy, although not acknowledged to be such, because it is not so declared, and thus not so called by any law, must be evident to every person of common discernment; for a woman taken into keeping, and made partaker of the conjugial bed is like a wife. That polygamy has been condemned, and is to be condemned by the Christian world, has been shewn in the chapter on polygamy, especially from these articles therein:—A Christian is not allowed to marry more than one wife; n. 338: If a Christian marries several wives, he commits not only natural, but also spiritual adultery; n. 339: The Israelitish nation was permitted to marry several wives, because the Christian church was not with them; n. 349. From these considerations it is evident, that to adjoin a concubine to a wife, and to make each a partner of the bed, is filthy polygamy.
466. IV. It is an adultery whereby the conjugial principle, which is the most precious Jewel of the Christian life is destroyed. That it is more opposed to conjugial love than simple adultery; and that it is a deprivation of every faculty and inclination to conjugial life, which is implanted in Christians from birth, may be evinced by arguments which will have great weight with the reason of a wise man. In regard to the first position,—that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, is more opposed to conjugial love than simple adultery, it may be seen from these considerations: that in simple adultery there is not a love analogous to conjugial love; for it is only a heat of the flesh, which presently cools, and sometimes does not leave any trace of love behind it towards its object; wherefore this effervescing lasciviousness, if it is not from a purposed or confirmed principle, and if the person guilty of it repents, detracts but little from conjugial love. It is otherwise in the case of polygamical adultery: herein there is a love analogous to conjugial love; for it does not cool and disperse, or pass off into nothing after being excited, like the foregoing; but it remains, renews, and strengthens itself, and so far takes away from love to the wife, and in the place thereof induces cold towards her; for in such case it regards the concubine courtezan as lovely from a freedom of the will, in that it can retract if it pleases; which freedom is begotten in the natural man: and because this freedom is thence grateful, it supports that love; and moreover, with a concubine the unition with allurements is nearer than with a wife; but on the other hand it does not regard a wife as lovely, by reason of the duty of living with her enjoined by the covenant of life, which it then perceives as far more constrained in consequence of the freedom enjoyed with another woman. It is plain that love for a wife grows cold, and she herself grows vile, in the same degree that love for a courtezan grows warm, and she is held in estimation. In regard to the second position—that simultaneous concubinage, or concubinage conjoined with a wife, deprives a man of all faculty and inclination to conjugial life, which is implanted in Christians from birth, it may be seen from the following considerations: that so far as love to a wife is changed into love to a concubine, so far the former love is rent, exhausted, and emptied, as has been shewn just above: that this is effected by a closing of the interiors of the natural mind, and an opening of its inferior principles, may appear from the seat of the inclination with Christians to love one of the sex, as being in the inmost principles, and that this seat may be closed, but cannot be destroyed. The reason why an inclination to love one of the sex, and also a faculty to receive that love, is implanted in Christians from birth, is, because that love is from the Lord alone, and is esteemed religious, and in Christendom the Lord’s divine is acknowledged and worshipped, and religion is from his Word; hence there is a grafting, and also a transplanting thereof, from generation to generation. We have said, that the above Christian conjugial principle perishes by polygamical adultery: we thereby mean, that with the Christian polygamist it is closed and intercepted; but still it is capable of being revived in his posterity, as is the case with the likeness of a grandfather or a great-grandfather returning in a grandson or a great-grandson. Hence, that conjugial principle is called the most precious jewel of the Christian life, and (see above, n. 457, 458.) the storehouse of human life, and the reservoir of the Christian religion. That that conjugial principle is destroyed with the Christian who practises polygamical adultery, is manifest from this consideration; that he cannot like a Mahometan polygamist, love a concubine and a wife equally; but so far as he loves a concubine, or is warm towards her, so far he does not love his wife, but is cold towards her; and, what is yet more detestable, so far he also in heart acknowledges the Lord only as a natural man, and the son of Mary, and not at the same time as the Son of God, and likewise so far he makes light of religion. It is, however, well to be noted, that this is the case with those who add a concubine to a wife, and connect themselves actually with each; but it is not at all the case with those, who from legitimate, just, and trully excusatory causes, separate themselves, and keep apart from a wife as to actual love, and have a woman in keeping. We now proceed to treat of this kind of concubinage.
467. V. Concubinage apart from a wife, when it is engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and truly excusatory, is not unlawful. What causes we mean by legitimate, what by just, and what by truly excusatory, shall be shewn in their order: the bare mention of the causes is here premised, that this concubinage, which we are about to treat of, may be distinguished from that which we have previously described.[1]
468. VI. The legitimate causes of this concubinage are the legitimate causes of divorce, while the wife is nevertheless retained at home. By divorce is meant the annulling of the conjugial covenant, and thence an entire separation, and after this a full liberty to marry another wife. The one only cause of this total separation or divorce, is adultery, according to the Lord’s precept, Matt. xix. 9. To the same cause are to be referred manifest obscenities, which bid defiance to the restraints of modesty, and fill and infest the house with flagitious practices of lewdness, giving birth to adulterous immodesty, and rendering the whole mind abandoned. To these things may be added malicious desertion, which involves adultery, and causes a wife to commit whoredom, and thereby to be divorced, Matt. v. 32. These three causes, being legitimate causes of divorce,—the first and third before a public judge, and the middle one before the man himself, as judge, are also legitimate causes of concubinage, when the adulterous wife is retained at home. The reason why adultery is the one only cause of divorce is, because it is diametrically opposite to the life of conjugial love, and totally destroys and annihilates it; see above, n. 255.
469. The reasons why, by the generality of men, the adulterous wife is still retained at home, are, 1. Because the man is afraid to produce witnesses in a court of justice against his wife, to accuse her of adultery, and thereby to make the crime public; for unless eye-witnesses, or evidences to the same amount, wore produced to convict her, he would be secretly reproached in companies of men, and openly in companies of women. 2. He is afraid also lest his adulteress should have the cunning to clear her conduct, and likewise lest the judges should show favor to her, and thus his name suffer in the public esteem. 3. Moreover, there may be domestic reasons, which may make separation from the house unadvisable: as in case there are children, towards whom also the adulteress has natural love; in case they are bound together by mutual services which cannot be put an end to; in case the wife is connected with and dependent upon her relatives, whether on the father’s or mother’s side, and there is a hope of receiving an increase of fortune from them; in case he lived with her in the beginning in habits of agreeable intimacy; and in case she, after she became meretricious, has the skill to soothe the man with engaging pleasantry and pretended civility, to prevent blame being imputed to herself; not to mention other cases, which, as in themselves they are legitimate causes of divorce, are also legitimate causes of concubinage; for the causes of retaining the wife at home do not take away the cause of divorce, supposing her guilty of adultery. Who, but a person of vile character, can fulfil the duties of the conjugial bed, and at the same time have commerce with a strumpet? If instances of this sort are occasionally to be met with, no favorable conclusions are to be drawn from them.
470. VII. The just causes of this concubinage are the just causes of separation from the bed. There are legitimate causes of separation, and there are just causes: legitimate causes are enforced by the decisions of judges, and just causes by the decisions come to by the man alone. The causes both legitimate and just of separation from the bed, and also from the house, were briefly enumerated above, n. 252, 253; among which are vitiated states of the body, including diseases whereby the whole body is so far infected, that the contagion may prove fatal: of this nature are malignant and pestilential fevers, leprosies, the venereal disease, cancers; also diseases whereby the whole body is so far weighed down, as to admit of no sociability, and from which exhale dangerous effluvia and noxious vapors, whether from the surface of the body, or from its inward parts, in particular from the stomach and the lungs: from the surface of the body proceed malignant pocks, warts, pustules, scorbutic pthisis, virulent scab, especially if the face is disfigured by it; from the stomach proceed foul, stinking, and rank eructations; from the lungs, filthy and putrid exhalations arising from imposthumes, ulcers, or abscesses, or from vitiated blood or serum. Besides these there are also other various diseases; as lipothamia, which is a total faintness of body, and defect of strength; paralysis, which is a loosening and relaxation of the membranes and ligaments which serve for motion; epilepsy; permanent infirmity arising from apoplexy; certain chronical diseases; the iliac passion; rupture; besides other diseases, which the science of pathology teaches. Vitiated states of the mind, which are jnit causes of separation from the bed and the house, are madness, frenzy, furious wildness, actual foolishness and idiocy, loss of memory, and the like. That these are just causes of concubinage, since they are just causes of separation, reason sees without the help of a judge.
471. VIII. Of the excusatory causes of this concubinage some are real and some are not. Since besides the just causes which are just causes of separation, and thence become just causes of concubinage, there are also excusatory causes, which depend on judgement and justice with the man, therefore these also are to be mentioned: but as the judgements of justice may be perverted and be converted by confirmations into the appearances of what is just, therefore these excusatory causes are distinguished into real and not real, and are separately described.
472. IX. The really excusatory causes ard such as are grounded in what is just. To know these causes, it may be sufficient to mention some of them; such as having no natural affection towards the children, and a consequent rejection of them, intemperance, drunkenness, uncleanliness, immodesty, a desire of divulging family secrets, of disputing, of striking, of taking revenge, of doing evil, of stealing, of deceiving; internal dissimilitude, whence comes antipathy; a froward requirement of the conjugial debt, whence the man becomes as cold as a stone; being addicted to magic and witchcraft; an extreme degree of impiety; and other similar evils.
473. There are also milder causes, which are really excusatory and which separate from the bed, and yet not from the house; as a cessation of prolification on the part of the wife, in consequence of advanced age, and thence a reluctance and opposition to actual love, while the ardor thereof still continues with the man; besides similar cases in which rational judgement sees what is just, and which do not hurt the conscience.
474. X. The excusatory causes which are not real are such as are not grounded in what is just, although in the appearance of what is just. These are known from the really excusatory causes above mentioned, and, if not rightly examined, may appear to be just, and yet are unjust; as that times of abstinence are required after the bringing forth of children, the transitory sicknesses of wives, from these and other causes a check to prolification, polygamy permitted to the Israelites, and other like causes of no weight as grounded in justice. These are fabricated by the men after they have become cold, when unchaste lusts have deprived them of conjugial love, and have infatuated them with the idea of its likeness to adulterous love. When such men engage in concubinage, they, in order to prevent defamation, assign such spurious and fallacious causes as real and genuine,—and very frequently also falsely charge them against their wives, their companions often favorably assenting and applauding them.
475. XI. Those who from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, are engaged in this concubinage, may at the same time be principled in conjugial love. We say that such may at the same time be principled in conjugial love; and we thereby mean, that they may keep this love stored up in themselves; for this love, in the subject in which it is, does not perish, but is quiescent. The reasons why conjugial love is preserved with those who prefer marriage to concubinage, and enter into the latter from the causes above mentioned, are these; that this concubinage is not repugnant to conjugial love; that it is not a separation from it; that it is only a clothing encompassing it; that this clothing is taken away from them after death. 1. That this concubinage is not repugnant to conjugial love, follows from what was proved above; that such concubinage, when engaged in from causes legitimate, just, and really excusatory, is not unlawful, n. 467–473. 2. That this concubinage is not a separation from conjugial love; for when causes legitimate, or just, or really excusatory, arise, and persuade and compel a man, then, conjugial love with marriage is not separated, but only interrupted; and love interrupted, and not separated, remains in the subject. The case in this respect is like that of a person, who, being engaged in a business which he likes, is detained from it by company, by public sights, or by a journey; still he does not cease to like his business: it is also like that of a person who is fond of generous wine, and who, when he drinks wine of an inferior quality, does not lose his taste and appetite for that which is generous. 3. The reason why the above concubinage is only a clothing of conjugial love encompassing it, is, because the love of concubinage is natural, and the love of marriage spiritual; and natural love is a veil or covering to spiritual, when the latter is interrupted: that this is the case, is unknown to the lover; because spiritual love is not made sensible of itself, but by natural love, and it is made sensible as delight, in which there is blessedness from heaven: but natural love by itself is made sensible only as delight. 4. The reason why this veil is taken away after death, is, because then a man from natural becomes spiritual, and instead of a material body enjoys a substantial one, wherein natural delight grounded in spiritual is made sensible in its perfection. That this is the case, I have heard from communication with some in the spiritual world, even from kings there, who in the natural world had engaged in concubinage from really excusatory causes.
476. XII. While this concubinage continues, actual connection with a wife is not allowable. The reason of this is, because in such case conjugial love, which in itself is spiritual, chaste, pure, and holy, becomes natural, is defiled and disregarded, and thereby perishes; wherefore in order that this love may be preserved, it is expedient that concubingage grounded in really excusatory causes, n. 472, 473, be engaged in with one only, and not with two at the same time. ****** 477. To the above I will add the following memorable relation. I heard a certain spirit, a youth, recently deceased, boasting of his libertinism, and eager to establish his reputation as a man of superior masculine powers; and in the insolence of his boasting he thus expressed himself: “What is more dismal than for a man to imprison his love, and to confine himself to one woman? and what is more delightful than to set the love at liberty? Who does not grow tired of one? and who is not revived by several? What is sweeter than promiscuous liberty, variety, deflorations, schemes to deceive husbands, and plans of adulterous hypocrisy? Do not those things which are obtained by cunning, deceit, and theft, delight the inmost principles of the mind?” On hearing these things, the by-standers said, “Speak not in such terms; you know not where and with whom you are; you are but lately come hither. Hell is beneath your feet, and heaven over your head; you are now in the world which is between those two, and is called the world of spirits. All who depart out of the world, come here, and being assembled are examined as to their quality; and here they are prepared, the wicked for hell, and the good for heaven. Possibly you still retain what you have heard from priests in the world, that whore-mongers and adulterers are cast down into hell, and that chaste married partners are raised to heaven.” At this the novitiate laughed, saying, “What are heaven and hell? Is it not heaven where any one is free; and is not he free who is allowed to love as many as he pleases? and is not it hell where any one is a servant: and is not he a servant who is obliged to keep to one?” But a certain angel, looking down from heaven, heard what he said, and broke off the conversation, lest it should proceed further and profane marriages; and he said to him, “Come up here, and I will clearly shew you what heaven and hell are, and what the quality of the latter is to confirmed adulterers.” He then shewed him the way, and he ascended: after he was admitted he was led first into the paradisiacal garden, where were fruit-trees and flowers, which from their beauty, pleasantness and fragrance, filled the mind with the delights of life. When he saw these things, he admired them exceedingly; but he was then in external vision, such as he had enjoyed in the world when he saw similar objects, and in this vision he was rational; but in the internal vision, in which adultery was the principal agent, and occupied every point of thought, he was not rational; wherefore the external vision was closed, and the internal opened; and when the latter was opened, he said, “What do I see now? is it not straw and dry wood? and what do I smell now? is it not a stench? What is become of those paradisiacal objects?” The angel said, “They are near at hand and are present; but they do not appear before your internal sight, which is adulterous, for it turns celestial things into infernal, and sees only opposites. Every man has an internal and an external mind, thus an internal and an external sight: with the wicked the internal mind is insane, and the external wise; but with the good the internal mind is wise, and from this also the external; and such as the mind is, so a man in the spiritual world sees objects.” After this the angel, from the power which was given him, closed his internal sight, and opened the external, and led him away through gates towards the middle point of the habitations: there he saw magnificent palaces of alabaster, marble, and various precious stones, and near their porticos, and round about pillars overlaid and encompassed with wonderful ornaments and decorations. When he saw these things, he was amazed, and said, “What do I see? I see magnificent objects in their own real magnificence, and architectonic objects in their own real art.” At that instant the angel again closed his external sight, and opened the internal, which was evil because filthily adulterous: hereupon he exclaimed, “What do I now see? Where am I? What is become of those palaces and magnificent objects? I see only confused heaps, rubbish, and places full of caverns.” But presently he was brought back again to his external sight, and introduced into one of the palaces; and he saw the decorations of the gates, the windows, the walls, and the ceilings, and especially of the utensils, over and round about which were celestial forms of gold and precious stones, which cannot be described by any language, or delineated by any art; for they surpassed the ideas of language and the notions of art. On seeing these things he again exclaimed, “These are the very essence of whatever is wonderful, such as no eye had ever seen.” But instantly, as before, his internal sight was opened, the external being closed, and he was asked what he then saw? He replied, “Nothing but decayed piles of bulrushes in this place, of straw in that, and of fire brands in a third.” Once again he was brought into an external state of mind, and some maidens were introduced, who were extremely beautiful, being images of celestial affection; and they, with the sweet voice of their affection, addressed him; and instantly, on seeing and hearing them, his countenance changed, and he returned of himself into his internals, which were adulterous; and since such internals cannot endure any tjing of celestial love, and neither on the other hand can they be endured by celestial love, therefore both parties vanished,—the maidens out of sight of the man, and the man out of sight of the maidens. After this, the angel informed him concerning the ground and origin of the changes of the state of his sights; saying, “I perceive that in the world, from which you are come, you have been two-fold, in internals having been quite a different man from what you were in externals; in externals you have been a civil, moral, and rational man; whereas in internals, you have been neither civil, moral, nor rational, because a libertine and an adulterer: and such men, when they are allowed to ascend into heaven, and are there kept in their externals, can see the heavenly things contained therein; but when their internals are opened, instead of heavenly things they see infernal. Know, however, that with every one in this world, externals are successively closed, and internals are opened, and thereby they are prepared for heaven or hell; and as the evil of adultery defiles the internals of the mind above every other evil, you must needs be conveyed down to the defiled principles of your love, and these are in the hells, where the caverns are full of stench arising from dunghills. Who cannot know from reason, that an unchaste and lascivious principle in the world of spirits, is impure and unclean, and thus that nothing more pollutes and defiles a man, and induces in him an infernal principle? Wherefore take heed how you boast any longer of your whoredoms, as possessing masculine powers therein above other men. I advertise you before hand, that you will become feeble, so that you will scarce know where your masculine power is. Such is the lot which awaits those who boast of their adulterous ability.” On hearing these words he descended, and returned into the world of spirits, to his former companions, and converse with them modestly and chastely, but not for any considerable length of time.
- ↑ See note to No. 450, and the Preliminary note.