The Girl Who Earns Her Own Living/Chapter 7
Ten or twenty years ago, when a woman of family and refinement met with financial reverses, her relatives either arranged a desirable match for her, or secured for her the very genteel post of "companion" to a woman of wealth and generally uncertain temper. The duties of the "companion" were indefinite and her income was uncertain. She was in favor one day and out the next. She was socially superior to the servants in the household, yet she did not share their spirit of independence. She generally drooped until she became a pitiable, dun-colored figure, with a "what's-the-use" expression in her tired eyes.
Even to-day, girls and women of mature years, gentle breeding and good education, but with no special training for the ungentle task of earning their own living, when face to face with the problem of self-support turn, panic stricken, to this old-fashioned profession, in which some shadow-like great-aunt ended her days.
"I have all sorts of social connections," such a woman will write. "I have a good English education, some knowledge of French and music, and I paint rather well on china. I think I would do very well as a companion, or social secretary, or governess, or anything of that sort. I am very patient and sympathetic."
This quotation from a real letter shows just what vague ideas inexperienced women hold regarding the posts of companion, social secretary and governess, which are hopelessly confused in the average feminine mind. The old-fashioned "companion" who had no assured position in the household, who was a dependent rather than a useful or desired factor in the family circle, has given place to a figure of energy and well-defined duties. The work of the "companion" is now that of the trained or semi-trained attendant. The social secretary to the woman of fashion is as important a figure in Madam Newly-Rich's household as her imported English butler. The private secretary to the woman of money and affairs has as clearly a defined standing in the household as the private secretary to the woman's husband in a corporation office. The invalid requires not a low-voiced, gentle-mannered girl who can read aloud and take odd stitches for her employer, but a semi-trained nurse who is competent to meet any and every emergency. The family traveling abroad or living on a country estate employs a governess who could fill the post of teacher in a fashionable preparatory school and whose position combines the duties of pedagogue and chaperon.
The general, and, alas, often incompetent "companion" has no place in the present-day organization of households. Her refinement, her social connections, her "patience and sympathy," must be backed by special training for the work.
A pathetically large number of women in small inland cities and even towns imagine that they could succeed as social secretaries to newly-rich women or to social leaders who find their correspondence and charities a burden so grievous as to demand an assistant. Because these women know how to write graceful notes of invitation, acknowledgment, congratulation or condolence, how to receive guests, and how to pour tea in their own little parlors, they imagine that they could train the newly-rich woman in the social way she should go, or lift the correspondence burden from the shoulders of Miss Helen Gould or Mrs. Russell Sage.
In reality, only the woman of extraordinary executive ability and experience can fill either position. Social secretaries are born, not trained. Those generally chosen for the post are women of family and social position, who have met with financial reverses, and whose chief asset is not their ability to indite a graceful note, but to place at the command of their employer their own social acquaintance, which is invaluable to the newcomer. The employer already established socially has for her secretary a young woman who is one of her household staff, or who calls daily to answer correspondence, send out invitations or perform other clerical duties. But if the employer is newly arrived on the social horizon, she selects as her secretary one of the women reared in luxury and social favor, who has been suddenly deprived of financial revenue.
This sort of secretary must have the names of desirable people at her finger-tips. She must be able to tell her employer who is worth meeting and who should be avoided, and she must bring her own social connections to bear in furthering the interests of her ambitious client. She must know how to arrange entertainments for her employer, and how to bring the right people to Mrs. Newly-Rich's house. She is social sponsor rather than secretary, a human' compendium of smart etiquette and good form, an advisory board in the question of gowns and house furnishings. In fact, she is to the social climber what the campaign manager is to the presidential candidate. She keeps her from doing the wrong things.
Can you picture the diplomacy, the social training, the experience necessary to perform these complicated duties? In your heart, do you believe you could perform them? If so, fill your trunk with pretty clothes, your bag with letters of introduction to influential men and women, and be prepared to work like a diplomat for a foothold in the fashionable world. You must gain this before you can apply for a post as social secretary. You will have more things to do than arrange invitation lists. If you do not believe this, read Edith Wharton's wonderful story of fashionable life, "The House of Mirth."
A young woman who thought that she would like to be private secretary to a club-woman, urged as one of her qualifications the fact that she could write excellent literary papers. She was greatly surprised when she learned that she must have a knowledge of stenography before she could apply for such a position, so heavy is the correspondence of a club-woman of state or national fame.
But she was not dismayed, for she was a girl with "the one idea"—to become a private secretary. She is in New York to-day, almost at the end of her course in shorthand and typewriting. In the meantime she has joined several active clubs, and has lived at an apartment house in whose parlors many women's organizations meet. Moreover, she has learned how to dress in a fashion suitable to the secretary of a woman of affairs. She has laid aside the somewhat gay, if girlish, finery she brought to New York, and has achieved the tailor-made air and the good grooming which stamp her as a successful business girl, even before she has a position. After preparing for the work in so thorough and systematic a way, I believe that her first position will be one that many a more experienced girl might envy.
Incidentally, clothes and bearing count tremendously if you desire to be on the staff of well-to-do employers. The day of the shrinking, shabby, self-effacing companion is past. The capable woman has arrived—even in the rôle of companion.
The girl who desires a position as compan ion or attendant to a semi-invalid must prepare for this work also. At any registry for trained nurses they will tell you that the custom of employing training-school graduates as traveling companions is growing. This does not mean that you must take a full course to secure any such position, but you should have had some experience in nursing, and if you have not had this you can take an abridged course in nursing, such as the Young Women's Christian Association offers in large cities, and which will fit you for any emergencies which may arise during the journey with a delicate employer. Your certificate from such a school, letters of introduction to physicians, good health, cheerfulness, steady nerves and a talent for minimizing discomforts of travel will insure your success in this work.
On board a steamship bound for the Mediter ranean, my table companion was a wealthy New York woman who was really quite well and strong, but who believed that she was traveling for her health. The chair on her right had been vacant during the entire voyage, and just before landing she explained the situation:
"My traveling companion has just gone on deck for the first time since we passed Sandy Hook. I engaged her to wait upon me, and she has not raised her head from her pillow until to-day. When I think of what I shall have to tip our stewardess! But, you see, she never crossed before, and did not understand that the longer she remained in her berth the sicker she would become. In Naples I shall give her a month's salary and a ticket home. I cannot be bothered with her any longer. I shall be turning nurse myself next. And it serves me right for giving the position to a girl who needed money, rather than to an experienced companion, I might have known that a girl with those beseeching eyes and a dimple in her chin would be no earthly use to me."
If you want to be a traveling companion you must first learn how to travel, how to handle tickets and baggage, how to lift all responsibilities from your fussy, fretful patron, how to keep yourself and your charge fresh-looking and well groomed on boat or train, how to handle the inevitable laundry problem, how to protect your employer from the extortions of hackmen and porters. In fact, you are troublebearer-in-extraordinary.
The girl who has traveled and thoroughly enjoys it, who has some knowledge of nursing or attendance upon the sick, should try to reach patrons through physicians. If her acquaintance will not warrant this, there are agencies where she may register, and many openings come through the "want ad," columns of city papers.
A beautiful if somewhat trying work is done by a number of young women, trained as described above, in families of the rich, where an unfortunate daughter must be screened from curious eyes. If you are not afraid of epileptic patients or of one suffering from some mild mental derangement, you can find work of this sort which pays well and insures a life of comparative ease. Very often these unhappy daughters of the very rich are kept, with their attendants, on country estates. Sometimes, if the mental defect is very slight, they are permitted to travel. With many the attacks are periodic, and during the interim these poor girls are pleasant company.
For the companion who does her duty by such a patient, the reward is generous, and the family shows its appreciation in a most practical manner, while the devotion and appreciation of the patient is in itself a beautiful recompense.
And now for the many teachers who desire positions in families going abroad for a protracted tour. The woman who has only a high-school education has little or no chance to seeure such a post. If the trip is for a year or more, the education of the children goes on precisely as if they were at home with a visiting or resident governess. That is, during certain hours of each day regular lessons are given, and the studies are those offered in fashionable private schools. A knowledge of French and German is almost essential. If there are boys in the party, Latin and Greek must be taught. Drawing and music may be included in the course of instruction, and, more than this, the traveling governess assumes almost entire responsibility for the children during the trip, unless a maid is also carried. She is chaperon to the girls on board ship, and their companion during all sight-seeing trips, for which reason she must be well posted on history, art and literature. College girls who have traveled abroad, or governesses who have already had experience in this country, are generally given the preference.
The scale of salaries is a sliding one, governed largely by the personality of the applicant and the liberality and good humor of the employer.
Twenty-five to thirty-five dollars a month with all expenses paid, is considered liberal remuneration for a governess traveling abroad with two or three young charges. Trained nurses receive the regulation wages, twenty to twenty-five dollars a week if traveling with a patient who is really ill and requires much attention. For chronic or light cases, where the duties are almost nominal, some nurses will accept as low as ten dollars per week if a pleasant trip is in prospect. These are graduate nurses, you understand. A trained attendant and companion, such as I described further back in this chapter, may receive anything from ten dollars per month to ten dollars per week, with all expenses, and this payment is measured by the fancy which the captious invalid takes to her few-found protége.
Here is a case in point: A whimsical old lady spent several months at a New York hotel, and there took a fancy to a hard-working stenographer employed in the office. She invited the girl to go to Europe with her, and off they started in the most unbusinesslike fashion. There was no understanding about wages, but the girl was to have everything she needed for the trip at the hands of her newly-acquired godmother. It was all very lovely until they struck rough weather half way across the Atlantic, and the girl succumbed to mal de mer. The old lady regarded this unfortunate circumstance as a personal affront, and directly they reached London she informed the young woman that she might have a return ticket and take herself off. And that is precisely what the poor girl did. Terrified to find herself in the metropolis of the world, without friends or influence, she came home on the very next steamer, with just enough money of her own left to pay for her steamer chair and to tip her stewards. She was glad to get back to a typewriter and a small but regular salary.
Social secretaries receive large salaries, but spend a great deal on dress. On the other hand, they receive many beautiful and valuable gifts from clients. Private secretaries to women of affairs receive about the same salary as office girls, but have more pleasant surroundings and often less strenuous work.
Thoughtful and ambitious girls reading this chapter may think that the position of governess or companion or secretary does not open up a career or promise any brilliant future. That depends entirely upon the girl herself. The position of governess in a family of wealth and influence, or as a companion to a rich invalid, or as secretary to a woman of affairs, will bring you in contact with men and women who can offer you better positions. If you have the true business instinct, it will develop, even if you are merely a companion or governess. You will meet successful people, and in that atmosphere you will learn how to carve success for yourself with tools vastly different from those which you picked up when you first took the position. At best the post of companion is merely a makeshift, and as one agent remarked, it is more apt to lead to the matrimonial market than to any commercial career.
Akin to the post of chaperon for young girls traveling abroad is that of chaperon in a private school. A few of the fashionable finishing schools located near large cities offer openings of this sort, and women of social standing, charming manners and good judgment are eligible applicants. The salary is just large enough to pay one's bills for gowns and hats, but board and lodging and laundry are included, while all incidental expenses, carfares, tickets, etc., are paid by the pupils chaperoned. The work of the chaperon includes escorting young girls to theaters, concerts, lectures and shopping trips to town, also to any private function, such as receptions, dances or musicales to which parties of pupils may be invited. In some schools these tasks are relegated to teachers and no chaperon is employed, but the custom is growing. Such positions appeal particularly to the widow left with a small income and perhaps a daughter whom she desires to educate in such a school.
One widow, with her daughter, is located in a mid-West church school, and in addition to her work as chaperon she makes exquisite lingerie of batiste and handkerchief linen, which she sells to wealthy pupils.
In large cities like New York, Chicago and Washington, women have taken to the work of guiding sight-seers, and a well-balanced, pleasant-mannered and well-posted young woman can do very well at such work. Of course, she acts as escort for parties of women only or parties made up of both sexes, never parties of men. She must arrange sight-seeing tours which occupy various periods of time, register at hotels and agencies, and be able not only to point out points of historical interest, but she must know about all desirable shops, from art to manicuring. A young woman who can plan attractive trips for sight-seers will soon find favor with hotel clerks, who are glad to recommend any one capable of making the city and ifs sights attractive to visitors.